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  1. #11
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I think self respect and self worth, are very important to have and to teach to every one. self respect is something as simple as using manners. when you say 'please' and 'thank you' , you are showing respect. if you dress with respect for your figure, and your age, you are showing people you have value and self worth. this starts from the youngest age, even newborn. you encourage your children to play nice, to share, to be gentle with smaller babies. there is so much more I could say about this. it is just so important. marie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGranny View Post
    I think self respect and self worth, are very important to have and to teach to every one. self respect is something as simple as using manners. when you say 'please' and 'thank you' , you are showing respect. if you dress with respect for your figure, and your age, you are showing people you have value and self worth. this starts from the youngest age, even newborn. you encourage your children to play nice, to share, to be gentle with smaller babies. there is so much more I could say about this. it is just so important. marie.
    This is what I think too.
    I'm finding it hard to word my feelings. I will have a think.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I was raised similarly. I was always told that I was important, that I had choices and those choices had consequences. As an adult I like to make people happy and I do try to but not at the expense of my family and myself. Respect for yourself is the ability to hold yourself to a higher standard of behaviour. If you respect yourself then others will respect you. This extends to your body and mind. If you respect your body as a structure for your soul then you need to make good choices for your body. Same with your soul.

    My parents always said that your friends help you make your choices - so have decent people as your friends. Good people don't pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. So I have tho made a personal rule that some people would disagree with. I have zero tolerance for drug use. If any of my friends use drugs I walk away and don't look back. It doesn't matter if it's a small weed issue in high school or a dabble in coke as an adult. I walk away and move on.

    I try and instill self respect in my kids by honouring their choices as much as possible. So if they want to wear the same Peppa pig shirt for four days I just wash daily. But some things like dinner table rules I'm firm over. I try to be strict and fair.

    I don't think anyone can really say they are pressured into taking drugs it's a choice you make for yourself and I can totally respect your sentiment of not having anything to do with people who have ever taken a drug. That's the thing it is making a choice about how you want to live your life regardless of what other people feel about it.

    In the same regards you walk away from people like myself I walk away from people who aren't on my level. What I mean by my level is I no longer engage with people who gossip, put others down, are selfish or greedy or engage in any criminal behaviour. I have been seen as a jerk for just walking off no explanation but I think that's healthy. A healthy person knows what they do and don't need in their life and to have something that goes against your ethos jeopardises your own happiness. I really believe how other people feel is not someone else's responsibility. How we feel about ourselves is the only thing we can control.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trusty Chords View Post
    I don't think anyone can really say they are pressured into taking drugs it's a choice you make for yourself and I can totally respect your sentiment of not having anything to do with people who have ever taken a drug. That's the thing it is making a choice about how you want to live your life regardless of what other people feel about it.

    In the same regards you walk away from people like myself I walk away from people who aren't on my level. What I mean by my level is I no longer engage with people who gossip, put others down, are selfish or greedy or engage in any criminal behaviour. I have been seen as a jerk for just walking off no explanation but I think that's healthy. A healthy person knows what they do and don't need in their life and to have something that goes against your ethos jeopardises your own happiness. I really believe how other people feel is not someone else's responsibility. How we feel about ourselves is the only thing we can control.
    I do believe you can be beguiled into drug use or any other behaviour. If you socialise with people where that is the norm or expected behaviour then you start to believe that it is normal or OK. Ie I never swear, well except in childbirth. So I also don't have friends who swear a lot as I find it distasteful. I have a friend who used to be like me but married a person who did swear greatly. Now she swears a lot and I wince when I meet her.

    I agree with you to walk away from situations and people that will lead you to compromise your standards of behaviour and life experiences.



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  6. #15
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    yes, rose&aurelia. 'walk away from situations and people"" . that is something that should be learned from the kindergarten stage. parents need to protect children from bad influences, and to discourage any friendship with someone who doesn't have the same family values or behaviour standards. I am reminded of the post, a short while ago, about some children appearing to be on free range at all hours. and coming to the neighbours house because they had children similar ages. I would not let my children do that, and it is part of teaching your childs value, and self-worth." if mum doesn't care where I am or who im with, then I mustn't be very important to mum. " that is part of the thinking process. marie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post

    My parents always said that your friends help you make your choices - so have decent people as your friends. Good people don't pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. So I have tho made a personal rule that some people would disagree with. I have zero tolerance for drug use. If any of my friends use drugs I walk away and don't look back. It doesn't matter if it's a small weed issue in high school or a dabble in coke as an adult. I walk away and move on.
    .
    Oh this is what I do to. Applies to family even. I did try to help my brother though but in the end he didn't want to help himself or admit he had a drug problem so noone else can help him and I could no longer be around him and his lifestyle. I would never ever take my kids to see him as I would never have my children around that.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 04-05-2015 at 16:03.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I do believe you can be beguiled into drug use or any other behaviour. If you socialise with people where that is the norm or expected behaviour then you start to believe that it is normal or OK. Ie I never swear, well except in childbirth. So I also don't have friends who swear a lot as I find it distasteful. I have a friend who used to be like me but married a person who did swear greatly. Now she swears a lot and I wince when I meet her.

    I agree with you to walk away from situations and people that will lead you to compromise your standards of behaviour and life experiences.



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    I think you can definately be influenced by your peers but the choice to leave is ultimately up to the individual. I have kind of been somewhat of a lone wolf lately because I didn't feel my peers were a good influence on me. If I was trying to be a better human being and I was constantly surrounded by people who hated other people for no reason, focused on negatives, bullied, gossiped… I found I was really drawn into the drama. Even when it happens here I try to use my better judgement to walk away instead of getting angry but I guess everyones human. I did find though walking away from the crowd was initially harder then going with but in the end made me more personally happy and content even if it meant I spent time alone.

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