my eldest has only ever got off time out once, then I straped him into a high chair for it BUT time out doesnt work for him (actualy so far nothing works for him but thats a whole other thread)
my toddler wouldnt stay in time out lol he's active, I just have to be on my feet and watching him (he's 19m)
For my 2.5 year old:
-ignore minor misbehaviour
-redirect/distract when I have the energy
-point out consequences (eg. ouch, that hurt me. I don't want to play with you anymore)
-warnings when something's really inappropriate, with a choice, and follow through (e.g. dropping food on the floor intentionally. "That's for eating. You need to keep it on your plate, or I'll take it away." Often she'll grin and do it again, at which point I take it away.
That's really it at this point. Natural consequences where possible, obvious logical consequences where that isn't possible. I haven't yet found any need for any form of punishment/punitive consequences in most situations.
I never used their bedrooms as a timeout spot as I wanted it to be associated with sleep or quiet time .. Instead we used a time out corner and always made sure they k ew why they were there and they had to apologise. I started this when they were 18months old ... I'm a firm believer in discipline and time out and as they got older things were taken off them until they could behave. I also lightly smacked my kids if it was necessary ... I'm not afraid to admit it .. It's how I raised my kids ..
I'm am exactly the same as Louise and use timeout in a corner, I have given light taps on the hand or bum for extremely bad behavior and with DD4 since she was 2 we did 1.2.3 - don't ask me what happens at 3 but she just stops doing whatever mischievous things she's doing. Don't think she wants to find out either lol.
Just to add. I will not let the girls out of the naughty corner until the apologise and tell me what they were doing wrong. If they won't then we let them stay in the corner for a bit longer.
I do a sort of combination of everything here.
Redirect where possible.
Natural consequence where possible ie if DS throws a toy at me he loses the toy. He has learnt to apologise pretty quickly.
If he makes a mess I tell him he has to clean it up, but I will help him at first.
If he hurts someone he is made to apologise.
I will also do counting to 5 if he is wilfully disobeying and he will usually stop around 4.
At extremes I will remove him and take him to sit on the bed, keep on my lap, wrap my arms around him and ignore him for 2 minutes (1 minute per year of age). Then we have a cuddle and he usually is settled by then. I figure it's a compromise because he hates missing the action and being ignored but would be distressed if left alone. He knows this is 'time out'.
But...if he's overtired or I think it's actually me creating the problem I adjust my expectations a little.
My daughter is 2, so same age as your daughter. It depends on the behaviour. If it's a tantrum, I re-direct her or if that doesn't work, I just walk away. She soon forgets whatever she was going crazy about.
If she's screaming at me I repeatedly remind her "I can't listen when you yell at me, speak nicely and we can talk" and that often makes her calm down to tell me in a normal voice what she wants.
If she's doing something she's not allowed to do, I remind her of the consequence if she keeps doing it and why she can't do it, e.g. "If you keep jumping on my bed, I will have to put you on the floor. You might fall off and hurt yourself so I can't let you jump on the bed." She seems to understand it pretty well.
If she bites or hits, I hold her hands, get on her level and tell her "teeth are not for biting" or "hands are not for hitting" (it helps that we have books with these same titles too). Sometimes though if she's hitting, it's because I've been too in her face so I just give her space and she calms down.
Good luck, I hope some of the strategies in this thread can help you!
Minor stuff, tantrums, or arguments- reflection time and discussion
Medium stuff- hurting someone else, not following rules, etc- loss of privelege/freedoms
Big stuff- we haven't really had any... some combination of the above I guess.
I tried the counting now she's counting with me and goes onto ten (I can't yell at her for that! Lol)
Previously I would tap her bum or hand.
She won't sit on her bottom long enough.
I'm very strict with her so she cleans up etc she will wipe the bench down/put her toys away/ set table etc but it's just her behaviour towards her brother and tantrums at dinner. I seriously can't handle it.
Throwing food etc I say dd please don't do that its for eating or that will hurt ds and it's not nice to hurt people.
She's very intelligent im not sure if that's playing a problem too. I've had to stop some of her extra activities as we can't afford them right now
@monnie I think timeouts are a great idea and I would use them but my DD is too strong willed and won't stay there and I hAve a 7 month old DS to look after too, so I can't keep putting her back on the chair or rug or step etc. I think they work on some kids but not others.
So you could start off with the naughty spot and see how you go. If it doesn't appear to work, I agree with a PP who said work out their currency. Toys away, TV off, not going to the playground / other thing they were looking forward to, early bed time etc.
I find giving a warning - please don't do abc because of xyz (always explain why the behaviour isn't appropriate). If you do it again.... Xyz will be the punishment. Then you MUST stick to your guns. If you say TV off for the rest of the day you have to turn it off, or all of a sudden your word means nothing. So make sure you threaten something you're able to actually do.
If I need her to start doing something - like cleaning up, put something away, get ready to go out etc I ask her to do it. If she doesn't then I tell her I'm going to count to 3 and if she still hasn't at least started to do what I've asked, then xyz will be the consequence.
Consistency and sticking to your word are the keys. Set up expectations too. It's harder when they are younger - hence why you explain why a behaviour isn't acceptable, but when they're older you can write the rules on some butchers paper and put it on the wall.
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