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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silver flute View Post
    I think the problem occurs when a person in a position of authority (ie the mayor, police officer etc) has a response which is initially aimed at making women "realise" that they have to take precautions that men do not in order to remain safe (and yes I acknowledge this is debatable!). I would prefer to hear a response that condemns the actions of the attackers and effectively says "We will not tolerate violence against women". When the first response of authority figures is to chastise the victim for not taking adequate self protection measures, it belittles the abhorrence of the crime. In my mind, it doesn't matter whether she was silly to walk by herself at night, the official line must be a condemnation of the crime, not its victim.
    Thankyou - I was trying to figure out how I was going to word my response but you did it for me

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin275 View Post
    That's what I've read too

    http://www.bordermail.com.au/story/3...s-false/?cs=53

    What the mayor has said is disgusting and victim blaming. He definitely could have chosen his words much more carefully.

    However, this girl could have ruined the lives of three innocent people with her accusations. It's making me wonder why she has made this kind of story up? My only plausible thought is a cry for attention or mental illness. Makes me sad for her for a whole heap of other reasons.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    The police website doesn't say that it was a false claim, that's started on the news sites. We don't know the truth.

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  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin275 View Post
    That's what I've read too

    http://www.bordermail.com.au/story/3...s-false/?cs=53

    What the mayor has said is disgusting and victim blaming. He definitely could have chosen his words much more carefully.

    However, this girl could have ruined the lives of three innocent people with her accusations. It's making me wonder why she has made this kind of story up? My only plausible thought is a cry for attention or mental illness. Makes me sad for her for a whole heap of other reasons.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Or maybe she was scared and withdrew her claim?

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  7. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruby_Tuesday15 View Post
    The police website doesn't say that it was a false claim, that's started on the news sites. We don't know the truth.
    I have to admit that I haven't gone onto the police website. The article I linked is all I've seen as it was listed as a similar article when I read the OP article.

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  8. #15
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    Oh golly... another threat I could rant about for so long. Ill try not to write a whole novel but no promises.

    Victim blaming is utter bull****. Girls are raised to have a rape radar so that we are always cautious to not put ourselves in endangering situations. Dont drink at a high school/uni party because if we get drunk and sloppy it isnt rape because we probably asked for it without remembering. Dont wear clothes that show your shoulders, knees, legs, hips, shape of your butt or any clevage because that means your asking for it. Dont go out alone at night because your asking for it. Don't act flirty unless you are planning to have sex because otherwise your asking for it.

    Basically don't do anything that may put you at risk because if you get raped its your fault. You know, the guy did it but somehow you asked for it. Society has this view now and its bull****. Unless I specifically say I want to dtd with you I am not asking for it.

    If it was turned around and a straight man got to drunk and was taken advantage of by a homosexual male then I doubt men hearing it on the news would be saying "Oh he should have taken more precautions, maybe he was asking for it? What was he wearing?"

    Ive experienced victim blaming. It's the worst because most of the time you believe it, because society tells us to believe it.

    Blame the violator not the violated.
    Last edited by RaraMum; 02-05-2015 at 00:20.

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  10. #16
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    Rara oh gosh, so sorry to read about your experience. No it was NEVER your fault. How wrong of your mother to make that comment.

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    Default Victim blaming major. #trigger warning#

    I'm so sorry you went though this @RaraMum. That is horrific and an awful case of victim blaming.
    Last edited by Silver flute; 01-05-2015 at 23:13.

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    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin275 View Post
    That's what I've read too

    http://www.bordermail.com.au/story/3...s-false/?cs=53

    What the mayor has said is disgusting and victim blaming. He definitely could have chosen his words much more carefully.

    However, this girl could have ruined the lives of three innocent people with her accusations. It's making me wonder why she has made this kind of story up? My only plausible thought is a cry for attention or mental illness. Makes me sad for her for a whole heap of other reasons.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Or what if these 3 men aren't innocent people and instead she has felt no support and felt alone, afraid and blamed for something. What if she thought "**** it, they've already ruined me. I don't even care anymore..."
    What if she was asked repeatedly during police interviews if it was false or if she had done something to encourage them and reminded that it will ruin their lives if she continues with the charges that she gave up, lost hope and took a chance to try to just forget about it and said "No, its all a lie."

    I could be totally wrong and she did make it all up but I just can't move my mind from the "What if..."
    Its happened alot more times than people realise.
    Last edited by RaraMum; 01-05-2015 at 23:18.

  13. #19
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    Default Victim blaming major. #trigger warning#

    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    It is never the victims fault however, there are sick people out there who take advantage of people. So just the same as I wouldn't leave my house unlocked, I wouldn't walk through a park or lonely place by myself at night. I shouldn't have to but I'm not going to put myself at uneccesary risk.
    Thank you! I've never been able to eloquently put into words how I feel about this. Yes, I believe that women SHOULD be able to walk through dark alleys and not be attacked. The fact is, though, that they can't and I believe we need to encourage girls to take those precautions for their safety such as walking in groups instead of alone.

    No, they shouldn't have to do it but righteous indignation won't keep you safe where some simple precautions might. The analogy of locking the doors of our homes is such a brilliant one. We need to keep fighting for women's rights and campaigning for a change in society but we also need to be realistic about the current state of affairs when considering our personal safety.

    That being said, his initial comments were 100% victim blaming. I think people don't even realise they're doing it half the time and a huge part of that fight for a change in society is to draw attention to it like has happened here so people can acknowledge that it's wrong to even imply that somehow the victim was fault when they were attacked.

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  15. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Apple iPhart6 View Post
    Thank you! I've never been able to eloquently put into words how I feel about this. Yes, I believe that women SHOULD be able to walk through dark alleys and not be attacked. The fact is, though, that they can't and I believe we need to encourage girls to take those precautions for their safety such as walking in groups instead of alone.

    No, they shouldn't have to do it but righteous indignation won't keep you safe where some simple precautions might. The analogy of locking the doors of our homes is such a brilliant one. We need to keep fighting for women's rights and campaigning for a change in society but we also need to be realistic about the current state of affairs when considering our personal safety.

    That being said, his initial comments were 100% victim blaming. I think people don't even realise they're doing it half the time and a huge part of that fight for a change in society is to draw attention to it like has happened here so people can acknowledge that it's wrong to even imply that somehow the victim was fault when they were attacked.
    I agree with everything you've said but at the same time, what about abuse that happens when the woman is doing all the right things? I know probably most predators are opportunistic and will just at the chance of a girl jogging through the park at midnight. But what about the girls that get dragged into cars, or the one drinking soft drink on a night out who gets slipped a roofie, or the one whos boyfriend decides to invite another guy into the bedroom to gangbang her consent not needed because its HIS girlfriend. Women who take all the right precautions are still at risk. Wasn't there a thread on here a while back about a woman who took her daughter to a public toilet in a crowded park and got beaten and raped in broad daylight? (I could have details wrong) but women that do all the right things still cop victim blaming.

    Where does the blame get taken off the victim and put on the abuser? Does he have to do it on a crowded street with many witnesses? Or would someone still pipe up and say "Oh but she shouldn't have walked with such a sway in her hips! A man can only restrain himself so much!"
    I know I'm getting far fetched here but I just don't know where society is going to draw the line.


 

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