Silver flute (01-05-2015)
Oh golly... another threat I could rant about for so long. Ill try not to write a whole novel but no promises.
Victim blaming is utter bull****. Girls are raised to have a rape radar so that we are always cautious to not put ourselves in endangering situations. Dont drink at a high school/uni party because if we get drunk and sloppy it isnt rape because we probably asked for it without remembering. Dont wear clothes that show your shoulders, knees, legs, hips, shape of your butt or any clevage because that means your asking for it. Dont go out alone at night because your asking for it. Don't act flirty unless you are planning to have sex because otherwise your asking for it.
Basically don't do anything that may put you at risk because if you get raped its your fault. You know, the guy did it but somehow you asked for it. Society has this view now and its bull****. Unless I specifically say I want to dtd with you I am not asking for it.
If it was turned around and a straight man got to drunk and was taken advantage of by a homosexual male then I doubt men hearing it on the news would be saying "Oh he should have taken more precautions, maybe he was asking for it? What was he wearing?"
Ive experienced victim blaming. It's the worst because most of the time you believe it, because society tells us to believe it.
Blame the violator not the violated.
Last edited by RaraMum; 02-05-2015 at 00:20.
Rara oh gosh, so sorry to read about your experience. No it was NEVER your fault. How wrong of your mother to make that comment.
I'm so sorry you went though this @RaraMum. That is horrific and an awful case of victim blaming.
Last edited by Silver flute; 01-05-2015 at 23:13.
What if she was asked repeatedly during police interviews if it was false or if she had done something to encourage them and reminded that it will ruin their lives if she continues with the charges that she gave up, lost hope and took a chance to try to just forget about it and said "No, its all a lie."
I could be totally wrong and she did make it all up but I just can't move my mind from the "What if..."
Its happened alot more times than people realise.
Last edited by RaraMum; 01-05-2015 at 23:18.
No, they shouldn't have to do it but righteous indignation won't keep you safe where some simple precautions might. The analogy of locking the doors of our homes is such a brilliant one. We need to keep fighting for women's rights and campaigning for a change in society but we also need to be realistic about the current state of affairs when considering our personal safety.
That being said, his initial comments were 100% victim blaming. I think people don't even realise they're doing it half the time and a huge part of that fight for a change in society is to draw attention to it like has happened here so people can acknowledge that it's wrong to even imply that somehow the victim was fault when they were attacked.
Where does the blame get taken off the victim and put on the abuser? Does he have to do it on a crowded street with many witnesses? Or would someone still pipe up and say "Oh but she shouldn't have walked with such a sway in her hips! A man can only restrain himself so much!"
I know I'm getting far fetched here but I just don't know where society is going to draw the line.
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