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  1. #1
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    Default Sleep. What am i doing wrong?

    Ds is 19.5months and has never been a great sleeper. The last few weeks he wakes constantly over night screaming and distressed. He has been treated for an ear infection but has been cleared now. I let him grissle and whinge to the point he starts escalating then i go to him for cuddles. Once having cuddles he doesn't want to be put down and as soon as i do he cries and whinges again often escalating to screaming again. I havr given panadol or neurofen at different times including during his ear infection which made no difference. I am at breaking point i am that exhausted from being up and down to him all night. If i leave ds to cry too long i feel worse and it works me up. Dp doesn't give a sh!t he says i am making it all up as he doesn't hear ds at all. He said i am causing the sleep issues and just doing it for attention. Dp was very rough with ds the other night when he got up to him, yelling and really roughly dragging him out of the cot. After that i don't want dp to get up to ds at all for fear of his temper but i dont know how much lack of sleep i can take. Please does anyone have any suggestions for this tired mumma.

  2. #2
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    My dd didn't start sleeping through until she was almost 2. For us, the only thing that worked was putting her in with us. That might not be an option for you, but it worked for us and we all felt much better after getting some much needed sleep

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to bluehawaii For This Useful Post:

    Me&Smooches  (01-05-2015),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (04-05-2015),ThenThereWereThree  (01-05-2015)

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluehawaii View Post
    My dd didn't start sleeping through until she was almost 2. For us, the only thing that worked was putting her in with us. That might not be an option for you, but it worked for us and we all felt much better after getting some much needed sleep
    I have often been cosleeping in our spare room as dp doesn't want to be woken by sharing the bed with ds. I just worry about creating more bad habits by bed sharing. How do you do it when they go to bed earlier than you? I usually just put him in with me when he first wakes in the middle of the night.

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    Hugs x can totally sympathise. My DS2 was a terrible sleeper and was still waking every few hours like a newborn until after his 1st birthday. I was so sleep deprived and hubby just wanted to leave him to cry it out which didn't sit well with me.

    I ended up going to sleep school just after his first birthday, and it was the best decision I've made. It was almost a year ago, and since the week at sleep school I have a little boy who sleeps through the night. Would definitely recommend checking out what is available in your area. If you are in Brisbane I highly recommend the Nurture Centre.

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    Quote Originally Posted by summastarlet View Post
    Hugs x can totally sympathise. My DS2 was a terrible sleeper and was still waking every few hours like a newborn until after his 1st birthday. I was so sleep deprived and hubby just wanted to leave him to cry it out which didn't sit well with me.

    I ended up going to sleep school just after his first birthday, and it was the best decision I've made. It was almost a year ago, and since the week at sleep school I have a little boy who sleeps through the night. Would definitely recommend checking out what is available in your area. If you are in Brisbane I highly recommend the Nurture Centre.
    I will look into sleep school. I have been to a couple seminars run by Ngala and the CHN and i use the techniques suggested but they don't always work.

    Dp says to just let me cry. I just can't do it, it works me up and i end up getting so stressed about it that it probably makes things worse. Though dp claims to not hear ds at all it is me getting up to him that is waking dp

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    Quote Originally Posted by Me&Smooches View Post
    I will look into sleep school. I have been to a couple seminars run by Ngala and the CHN and i use the techniques suggested but they don't always work.

    Dp says to just let me cry. I just can't do it, it works me up and i end up getting so stressed about it that it probably makes things worse. Though dp claims to not hear ds at all it is me getting up to him that is waking dp
    I had tried similar techniques to what they showed me at sleep school, but I think part of it is having the nurse there beside you encouraging you and helping you to stay strong.

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    He has been more clingy than normal too, always wanting mum. I will have a look at sleep school. I just dont like letting him cry, i dont see it as being productive.

    We are going away this weekend so the different surroundings and a house full of people are stressing me out about making sure ds doesn't keep everyone awake

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    I also couldn't let my dd cry, that's why we put her in with us. We were worried about creating bad habits, but after getting a few nights of full sleep, we soon decided that sleep was more important. We just put dd in our bed with the side rails on

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    Sounds like your DS is set in his ways- habits have formed and been reinforced. Going cold turkey could be very upsetting for you both.

    First step would be to identify all the habits that have formed that may be contributing to night waking. Then Slowly weaning back on them one at a time. What is bubs bedtimd routine like? 20 mins play before bed or do you rock/pat/feed to sleep?

    You may also want to look at day naps, bedding and room temp and solid intake

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    Is your DS in a cot or a toddler bed?

    My DS went through sleep issues at around 20 months, he was ok before this.

    Our problem was a little different in he wouldn't sleep unless I was in the room with him. So when he was falling asleep id have to sit there, sometimes for up to 3 hours! If I stood up to leave when he was finally asleep, he would wake and the whole process would start again. In the middle of the night it was the same.

    I ended up going to sleep school, but he slept through on the first night.

    The difference was that he was in a toddler bed and not his cot. He also got sick that week with tonsillitis but I think the change of bed and environment just helped to kick things into gear.

    We then had the issue of him waking and getting out of bed, and that lasted a few weeks, but he soon got tired of that game

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