Get another Dr. It's really your best option. If we're all getting the wrong impression and he's actually a great guy, then cease the dr/patient relationship immediately and see what happens.
I actually think it's pretty common for women to develop a 'crush' on their OB, in various forms. It makes sense if you consider the intimate nature of their job and the intensely personal nature of pregnancy & birth.
I'm with delerium. Change Drs, he won't even know unless you mention it, and it he ever asks just say as you were friendly outside of dr/patient you felt odd talking to him about your girlie bits.
If after two years from your last appointment you still want a relationship go ahead.
You don't owe him an explanation if you want to change doctors. You are essentially a customer and customers can change service providers fora number of reasons.
Go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a new specialist. You don't have to ask the current specialist for it.
As for dealing with him in relation to the charity you volunteer for, perhaps you need to stop that contact for now? Can someone else see him, or can you find a different doctor to liaise with?
I agree with pp...I wouldn't be entering into a relationship with someone who is ok with breeching their professional conduct. Also I would be wondering if he's started a relationship with one patient, what's to stop him doing it again (or perhaps he has done it prior to you)?
I think the best thing to do if you want to keep working with him on the charity is to find another Dr. Then tell him that you don't mean to offend him and you've appreciated his services & support, but that given that you now work together on this charity you feel like you have a more personal connection with him and it makes you feel uncomfortable having him as your Dr - that you'd prefer to keep those things separate.
I would not disclose your romantuc feelings for him. Like a pp said, if the connection is still there after the correct timefeame has passed, you can then see if he's interested in a romantic relationship. But I'd still be analysing his behavior for signs of moral weakness...
I'm would get a new doctor but at the end of the day you only live once and if things developed in the future then pursue it then. I doubt he would ask why you changed.
I wouldn't bring up feelings just yet though. I would end the dr patient relationship for a while before heading down the road.
OP, I know you said you're ok after splitting from bubs dad but I'm worried. The decisions you have made before and after the split (including with regards to your doctor) indicate that not everything is ok.
You fell pregnant with your 4th child 4? Months after having a massive argument with your husband because he didn't want a 4th child (he even threatened divorce - I think your third was only 9-10months old at the time) . Many hubbers at the time advised you to tread very carefully. You had needed IVF in the past - perhaps bub nr 4 was a whoopsie baby? (Not saying unwanted - all babies are awesome!)
It must be very stressful having 4 kids (including a 10 month old bub). And doing it all alone. I can't even begin to imagine how hard that would be. Could you be trying to fill a void when your bubs get out of the newborn stage at around 9-10 months? I really hope you are still seeing your psychologist - if you are please tell them everything about what is going on. They can offer you professional unbiased advice. You don't appear to have taken the advice of hubbers on board in the past but I really hope you are able to this time - Please look after yourself and your little family. Best of luck xx
Last edited by VicPark; 01-05-2015 at 07:49.
You've asked for advice, you've received it. Sorry, but what more are you looking for? It appears as though you are wanting someone to justify your actions.
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