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  1. #41
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    I'm not asking for anyone's blessing, and I haven't said I was going to pursue it either. My main dilemma was do I tell him or not and change Drs. As given my feelings towards him, I find it difficult to discuss my medical stuff with him. As if I just stop communication/seeing with him he's going to want to know why

  2. #42
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    It sounds like you are still currently a patient. it's just the nature of being a gyno means you only see him sporadically. I'm putting myself in your place and if I got involved with my dr deep down I would be thinking if he was happy to cross clear moral and ethical guidelines to date me, what other morals would he break? I kind of liken it to dating a person you've been cheating with and wondering if they cheated with you, will they cheat on you?

    Why do you have to tell him? People change Specialists all the time for a million reasons. You are the consumer, you don't need to explain why you want to see another gyno.

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  4. #43
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    Default Attracted to my Doctor

    Quote Originally Posted by FallenAngel14 View Post
    I'm not asking for anyone's blessing, and I haven't said I was going to pursue it either. My main dilemma was do I tell him or not and change Drs. As given my feelings towards him, I find it difficult to discuss my medical stuff with him. As if I just stop communication/seeing with him he's going to want to know why
    You can't discuss medical issues with the person you should be discussing your medical issues with?
    Really?
    Wtf do you do during consults?
    Stare at him?

    Seriously! Get a mechanic or a gardener.

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  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by TTC7 View Post
    You want a bunch of strangers to give you their blessing for you to pursue an unethical, inappropriate relationship that could ultimately destroy a man's reputation and career???

    I hope that any real life friends who may get wind of this report you both.

    Im not phased how rude this post was.
    Hang on...

    If the doctor either pursues or acts on anything, he is equally responsible for what happens to his reputation and career. It's not all on the OP. And it sounds as though he has not much regard for either judging by his actions so far.

    OP, I have changed doctors and specialists many times in my life. It has never once crossed my mind that they would wonder why, and even if they did wonder why I would expect them not to pursue answers to that question as I believe it would be highly unprofessional to do so. It certainly wouldn't have any impact whatsoever on my decision.

    The reason there are these ethical guidelines is because there is an imbalance of power in a doctor/patient relationship (much like a teacher/student relationship).

    Yes. I think you should switch doctors for your own wellbeing. No, I don't think you should tell him why. He has no right to ask. What good could come from telling him?

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  8. #45
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    Default Attracted to my Doctor

    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Hang on...

    If the doctor either pursues or acts on anything, he is equally responsible for what happens to his reputation and career. It's not all on the OP. And it sounds as though he has not much regard for either judging by his actions so far.

    OP, I have changed doctors and specialists many times in my life. It has never once crossed my mind that they would wonder why, and even if they did wonder why I would expect them not to pursue answers to that question as I believe it would be highly unprofessional to do so. It certainly wouldn't have any impact whatsoever on my decision.

    The reason there are these ethical guidelines is because there is an imbalance of power in a doctor/patient relationship (much like a teacher/student relationship).

    Yes. I think you should switch doctors for your own wellbeing. No, I don't think you should tell him why. He has no right to ask. What good could come from telling him?
    Doesn't sound like he has acted on anything.
    For anything ... It could be one persons imagination.

    If he has, he deserves to be found out and reported.
    If he has encouraged it, he needs to be found out.

    It's also possible he is just being caring and friendly to make a patient at ease and she is looking in to it too much.

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    Get a new doctor.
    Leave him alone.
    Any communication you have with him should be keep platonic and in the context of your charity.
    Please don't go looking for doctors to date unless you are willing to put their patients and their reputations at the top of your list of priorities. Being a partner to a doctor is not always sunshine and roses.

    ETA if he has been inappropriate in any way, please report him to AHPRA.
    Last edited by PomPoms; 30-04-2015 at 23:10.

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  12. #47
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    Default Attracted to my Doctor

    I didn't say I can't discuss my medical issues, I said I find it difficult. It's a bit awkward talking about your sex life, and the issues with it, with someone you have feelings with.

    The reason I guess I feel the need to tell him is cause we have contact and cross paths outside of dr-patient stuff.

    And I'm not looking for Drs to date. If I was I'd become a nurse or something.
    Last edited by FallenAngel14; 30-04-2015 at 23:11.

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  14. #48
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    I didn't say he has acted on anything.

    His actions so far (commenting on OP's appearance, asking about her age and love life) are, to me, crossing a boundary of ethical behaviour which suggests to me that he isn't thinking too much of his reputation and career.

    They are inappropriate questions, particularly in his role as a gynaecologist.

    If there is *any chance* at all that a question can be misinterpreted like that, then he shouldn't be asking it, for his patients' sake and his own behind as well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FallenAngel14 View Post
    I didn't say I can't discuss my medical issues, I said I find it difficult. It's a bit awkward talking about your sex life, and the issues with it, with someone you have feelings with.

    The reason I guess I feel the need to tell him is cause we have contact and cross paths outside of dr-patient stuff.
    You really need to find a different doctor.

    Also I see many doctors socially that I've also seen professionally (husbands friends or acquaintances) and never once have they mentioned our professional contact. This guy won't know you are seeing someone else unless you tell him.

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    Do you really need to have that contact though? You said he's helping you with a charity, can another med pro do that?

    Look, it's your life you are a grown woman. It just seems that you are making excuses and are wanting reinforcement. You are a current patient and any relationship is unethical. My advice is to stop seeing him altogether. Both medically and professionally. Give it the 2 years to not be classed a patient then reconnect with him and see where it takes you. If you want to date him, do it right.

    I should add I would not dating him ever. I really question his morals. But if you are that into him, follow the rules and give it the 2 years.
    Last edited by delirium; 30-04-2015 at 23:15.

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