Hi all - my husband has super crazy toxic parents. I have posted about them in the past back when they were trying to rope us into taking out a $200,000 loan off them. They are extremely nasty abusive controlling people.
Anyways, after my husband told them we will not be taking out the loan from them, they then threw $30,000 at him as a 'gift' .. I warned him it will be just a trap to keep him under their control. He told me this time they wont be able to, and if they don't start to 'improve' then he will still cut them off. He convinced me to agree to it because "its all he will get from their wealthy will as no doubt his golden child sister will be left the lot' ... I stayed out of it as felt at the end of the day that's his business.
Well fast forward to they give him the money as a gift. DH has been telling me it was for both of us, but it was only written out under his name so i called his bull crap with that. Not that i care, I don't care for their money at all I just want peace and happiness. Well then a few months after the money was given, DH got into a massive row with them because of course they stepped their abuse up a few notches because they believed they bought the right. We visited them on NYD and they just went to town on us, I ended up setting MIL straight, but DH fell to pieces and didn't back me or stick up for himself... our3 year old son was effected by the occasion. So once we got in the car, I told DH i don't want to see them anymore. He is to deal with them on his own.
He not long after that ended up having it out with them again, and decided he was done and has cut them off ever since.
The thing is though he never told them he was ending it with them... he just blocked their numbers and completely ignores them now.
We got talking about them last night, and he finally told me how much they have slagged me off when i wasn't there. How much they blame me for everything... and how I am "No good because I come from parents that got divorced" ... they would be very passive aggressive to my face, but never openly told me exactly how much they blame me and hate me.
I now have concerns about DH having this money of theirs. We have put the money into doing this to this house so we can get it ready for sale, so we no longer have it on hand. I am worried that now because I realise how much they blame me for everything and hate me so much (they hated me before they even met me. When DH told them he had a GF, they blew up at him demanding he get a pre nup! We were only just started dating) So they are extremely territorial with their money. I know now, after DH finally telling me the truth of how much they'd verbally bash me when I wasn't there, that it would be driving them inane that we have this money and now cut them off. I can't have them in my life, or the kids. Thats not going to ever change now. But Am i sill to fear for my well being? Is that irrational to worry they will try to come after me now since I am the cause of all of their issues?
How would you handle this, would you want your husband to give them back the money once we sell our house (and wont be able to afford to live where we dream to)
Or say bugger them?
I don't know what to do... we need to move as we live in a **** area with a psycho neighbor over the road who is still obsessed with us and still looks like an ice addict. But if we give them back the $30,000 its not looking likely we will be able to move away really ...
I just don;t know if I am being silly for worrying about this ... of course DH thinks I am. I just wish he'd at least tell them why he is cutting them off, but he believes there is no use - they wont listen and will blame me anyways. Even though he has been abused by them all of his life (physically and psychologically)