Hi all. I've recently split from my DF. Before I found out I was pregnant with DD we were having issues with money, in fact my words when I told him were 'I'm f#$!ing pregnant' (not the best story), due to being pregnant we worked out a plan and tried to move through the issues.
This plan never moved forward because of him. I would offer advice, tips, got builders in and made multiple designs/budgets and every single time would get shot down.
I would then be told he was so stressed and couldn't talk, couldn't do, I was horrible, blah blah blah. Before DD was even 3 months I had jack of it and moved in with my mum. This was a temporary solution to again try and work through issues, I was going to find my own place while he sorted FILs where we lived. His 'stress' then got 'so bad' and he took it out on my nephew, this then ended any chance in my head as the tone he used should never be used with a child, especially one who had done nothing that wasn't in line with being a normal 6 year old.
This was the tip of th iceberg after a year of regression in his behaviour and emotional abuse and blackmail that I'm only just understanding how bad it wad so we are 100% over.
Since then he isn't coping, won't accept were over and is being treated for depression and anger issues. Hes also trying to hit me with more emotional blackmail and I'm now the worst person in the world for contacting child support and am wondering how I go about mediation.
Hes a very angry person, I'm hoping not to do anything until I get all my stuff out as even though I'm going to work with him and try to be reasonable for visitation I think he'll get angry.
Now to my proper questions.
1. Should I be allowing him visitation before any agreements are in place?
2. What are my rights if he decides not to bring the kids back.
3. Do I have any right to say both(DS 20 Months, DD 3 months) or not at all as he is virtually ignoring DD and the one visit he has done didn't take her. I don't want this to be continuing, she is his daughter.
4. Can I write up visitation and if he agrees take it to family law or does this need to be agreed in mediation?
I'm sure I'll have more questions but I'm at a loss atm. Thanks in advance 😙