Just a little off topic but I was reading this and thought I'd share as it was discussed a couple of days ago
Got my frostie update. Had 2 x 5 day blasts frozen. Way less than I expected but still very happy with the two onboard. For anybody who knows their grading at CFC the transferred blasts were 2XB4AA and the frosties are 2XB3AA.
I think Cathy is right everyone that is here has been through a lot so a good place to discuss, like minded girls happy to share ( for me great solace !!!)
Here is my perspective
after 2 years of mc disasters then IVF disasters I also was a mess, it was terrible .. in my very small male dominated workplace every woman has been on leave after I first fell pregnant, baby shower (7!) after baby shower and I felt I couldn't tell anyone, last one is tomorrow !
It's been so long now that they are all coming off mat leave talking about their bundles(yay!) I can just imagine in your work situation it's even more difficult.
I thought we were done and I had to accept we weren't having a family. Then I found out about de in Cape Town by a fertility spec nurse telling us, I was a total mess after our worst IVF cycle to date ( no successful day 3 embies after all that time effort, drugs, invasion and emotional roller coaster)
I'd ruled out ed already by family and friends as there were no candidates I thought I could ask, I was not asking a stranger and the system in aus seemed impossible with few options.
When we looked into cfc it was finally like a light at the end of a tunnel, then I came to this site and I finally started thinking again it's a real possibility that we really can extend our family now I'm so happy we have gone down this road And I can't wait to try , anyway, I'm certainly much happier in myself now! Now, fingers crossed for end August.
After working my way through the pregnancy then the miscarriage, multiple miscarriage, IVF them IVF over 40 boards which were increasingly super depressing this is the first positive board full of possibilities I've found, I hope you find a good option for you and if you choose this path find some connections here
As Charlie, and jennski said we chose a donor we felt was like me anyway, fortunately my dh swimmers seem to be good, so he'll have "input". I feel of all the options ie adoption, surrogacy it is the easiest and the easiest to accept. It will be our baby no doubt about it and I can't wait... Just over 1 month till we head over, yikes !!!
Good luck Zara and I hope you find some relief.
Thank you ferngirl for also sharing your experience.
I had an appointment yesterday with a psychologist that also works at a fertility clinic, so she understood my experience so much better.
It was helpful to be able to verbalise some of the worries I have, and just hear that it is normal.
We have a lot of thinking to do over the coming weeks, so I will keep lurking here to hear all your stories.
Thank you all for the support, and positive vibe!
Leyshoja: Congrats on being PUPO and having a couple of frosties. Can I also add Brazil nuts to the pineapple advice (well, probably not at the same time!) Enjoy your last day in CT.
Zara: Welcome to the forum. I think the other ladies have summed it up far better than I can (Jennski, your post also made me well up) but once you've come to terms with using a DE, it's actually a very positive move. But it's important to take the time to be comfortable with your decision. I do think that epigenetics and how you bring a child up has a lot to do with how they turn out and there is no guarantee that a child will look like you anyway (I have a six year old who is the spitting image of his dad, can't see me at all!) But it is a hard thing to get your head around and different for everyone. Good luck with it all.
Hello to everyone else.
AFM: 38 weeks today so just waiting, waiting... Am actually very excited/intrigued to see what our little bundle of joy is going to look like now!
Last edited by Patsy73; 17-07-2015 at 08:52.
Just reflecting on some of the others thoughts and now into week 9 with the twins on board (ours was double donation)- it's hard for me and dh not to feel that they are anything other than ours. The experience of being pregnant even though they are de is tremendously bonding
Hopefully something to take a bit of comfort from if you've thinking about you de or are at a hard part of the de journey
Patsy I'm with you.
Count down is on. I'm also intrigued how my little one will look. (There are quite amusing descriptions being passed around). I have double donors, and I can agree that at no time throughout this journey have I ever thought this baby is not 'mine'.
Through the swelling, nausea, wind, indigestion, lovely new cellulite and stretch marks, karate kicks and sumo rolls in my belly, painting and decorating, and not to forget the excitement of others- I am going to be a mother. A child of my own to explore the world with.
Don't I have some stories for her about perseverance, self-belief, love, and goal setting that pale the mental strength of mountain climbing and marathons almost into insignificance.
You don't know your real strengths until you honestly start challenging them and only you can know when that time is right.
Hi Zara - lots of inspiring stories on here to read. I was quite shocked by how quick I made my mind up in the end. My journey started when I was only 28 and it took 10 years, over 20 IVF cycles and 4 miscarriages. I look back now and think WTF was I doing - but I guess that's the path I had to take and you have yours. I guess creeping up to 40 and I thought "what's more important - a baby or no baby". I knew that a wanted a baby no matter what so my path led me to this forum. Was it easy? No - I cried for 3 months straight I think. I never realized how obsessed I was with having my own genes and it was harder with having 8 nieces and nephews with 6 of them looking exactly like me. Both my sister-in-laws still find it strange their kids look like they belong to me! But once I decided I was having a baby no matter what and after my next biggest hurdle of telling my mum who was so supportive - I had decided. I woke up next to DH and said "right - we are doing this" and away we went. I was like a bull in a china shop! DH was the worst at picking DE, gee I thought I was picky.. Anyway we settled on similar traits: blonde, blue eyes, good family health etc. I'm B+ so was nicely surprised when our donor was too.
We chose to tell family and a few close friends and everyone has been on board - they all just want to see us be parents! Once in CT I still felt completely at ease with the process. To be honest - I was so excited that we got pregnant and from day one - these have been my babies- I feel such a strong bond and connection.
I was babysitting my 2yr old nephew (my little twin) the other day and I did shed a tear then I laughed and thought how amazing that I still get to see myself in these beautiful children!!! I can't wait to meet my babies and don't really care what they look like as long as they are healthy and happy!
Good luck with your journey - only you will know what you need to do!
BTW - I had a bleed the other night so naturally I freaked out and went to emergency to be treated like a second class citizen. I refused to leave until they did an u/s. So after 1/2 hr arguing the dr got a beautiful lady from obstetrics to do one and there were still 2 sacs with heartbeats - so relieved! Had a formal u/s the next day at the hospital and all was fine. Its been 3 days and I have the slightest (hardly worth mentioning) twinge of colour when I wipe but my FS is away til next week. Had a few days off work to be safe. I feel better but I'm still a bit concerned - I know it's common but it's always hard.
I'm due for a 8.5 week u/s next Wednesday so will chat with FS then.
Congratulations Leyshoja - 2 beautiful embies to burrow in
cant wait to hear your progress.
Good luck everyone else - hope others are not suffering extreme all day sickness like me.....Holy S_it I was not prepared for this head spinning, dizzy exhaustion
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!