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  1. #31
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    I think what you feel is pretty normal. Be kind to yourself.... I think your far too hard on yourself xxx

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  3. #32
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    My dd tonight mused out of nowhere that it'd be nice if kids got to chose their mums and not just get what they get. I try not to let these comments hurt but they do. It's hard not to wonder where we have gone wrong and think it must be us but I doubt these issues would be solved if she went to live with her dad. I don't know about you but some days it hurts and others I find resolve not to take it personally. Hope the counselling works for her. They say there's an especially thin line between love and hate in families so I'm sure that's all it is. I'd a rocky time with my mum as a teen but she's the first person I'd go to now when need support just needed to grow up to appreciate her!

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  5. #33
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    I just want to give you a great big hug as there's not much more I can say that hasnt been already

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  7. #34
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    Thanks everyone. I think just the understanding and support has helped me heaps. It's given me an extra boost to keep trying. I'm also going to keep an eye on myself just in case she's picking up on my feelings.

  8. #35
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    I agree with those that have said you are her safe person and she knows you'll always be there so lashes out at you. I'm not sure how to make this better but it might help knowing deep down she really does love you and feels safe with you.

    One idea I've thought of which might help strengthen you relationship with her. Could you write a list of things she would love doing (with her and things you could do together). Cut the list up, pop it in a bag and draw one out every day to do with her. I'm thinking of things like going to the park, sitting down playing with play dough, colouring etc (do it for 30 minutes each day if you can).

    I also wonder if at 6 she is tired. 6 is still so little and they are doing lots of hours at school learning all the time. Would an enforced rest period after school work?

    I think, as others have suggested, that you need a break to recharge and freshen up. Is there any possibility Dad could take her for a week? Or are your parents close by? Could they have her for a couple if nights? Indulge yourself and don't feel guilty about it. Make the time about you and what you would love to do.

    Parenting is tough. Unless you are a parent you cannot understand what a tough gig it really is. The fact that you have posted here and are so open to suggestions shoes how much your daughter means to you. I'm sure this will pass you just need to figure out what your daughter will respond to. Remember that you are important too. 😊

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  10. #36
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    Huge hugs, my eldest is an angel for everyone but me (and mil loves to point it out!). I have to keep reminding myself (and him) that I love him but I don't always like what he is doing. When he is acting out if nothing will fix it (sometimes it takes 10 minutes of listening to find out he didn't want x but wanted y instead) I will tell him that and add that mummy is getting very cranky with him and we need a break from each other.

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  12. #37
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    Just thought I'd come back to this thread and add a few things..

    Don't get caught up in worrying about whether she is picking up on your feelings too much. We are all human, imperfect and sometimes when things get too much or we can't cope or we get overwhelmed we act in ways that aren't always pleasant and thats okay as long as you can talk about it afterwards and move on. I used to stress my anxiety affected my kids or having pnd affected them... so far they are easy going, well adjusted kids and the only long lasting affects i can see is they have more empathy than the average kid which is okay by me.

    Most importantly is to practice kindness and compassion to yourself and your dd. It'll be the best lifelong lesson you will ever teach her and give her resilience to pick herself up and move on when life knocks her down. Let go of guilt for feeling like you do because its perfectly normal. Give your dd a break for being a PIA as thats perfectly normal too. Be forgiving.

    There is a quote I have pinned up on my wall that says "Love most when people deserve it least, because that's when they need it the most".... and its true. I know when I've been at my most difficult is when I am struggling the most and in need of understanding and kindness...

    As someone said...its a tough gig this parenting thing. But your here and your still trying and nothing ever stays the same....

    Hope things get better for you soon...

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  14. #38
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    Thanks Unfortunately it's been difficult to get her dad to take her more than he does to give me a break. Apparently he's saving his holidays up for a holiday he wants to take, which I understand, but I wouldn't mind a holiday myself. I moved quite far away from everyone I knew last year so I have no support. So that's something I need to find I think.

    I will take on these ideas though. I think she will really enjoy the idea to draw fun activities out of a bag. She just needs to learn to work with me better. I tried to do painting with her yesterday but I did something she didn't like and it ended badly. I have seen her do that a bit with her friends as well, but she does it much more quietly and subtle. She must be the boss and if not she is not happy. She''ll make a great leader one day, but only if she learns to control her temper.


 

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