+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 38
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Gosh I can't get over all the similarities! I had the closest relationship with dd as a baby, I think that's what makes it so hard? Hmmm might stop contributing and instead listen to others advice for me too!
    No that's fine, it's just really good to know there are others going through the same thing.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGranny View Post
    hi lostyogapants, can you reason with her,, tell her you love her, but just dont like seeing this nasty side of her. ask her to please treat you like you are one of her friends and you will try to treat her like one of your friends. sort of pretend you are friends, and really try to be respectful and caring towards each other. ask her to just try for a little while and see how it works . that might at least be a step in the right direction. hugs, marie.
    I have tried reasoning with her many times, she refuses to listen to me. And this is just when I speak kindly to her, but she is right and I am wrong, it's very frustrating. Her personality is hard to describe, she is very stubborn and demanding. I haven't tried the friends thing, that is a good idea, if I can get her to listen (which occasionally I can) she might like that.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to LostYogaPants For This Useful Post:

    SuperGranny  (27-04-2015)

  4. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    1,914
    Thanks
    482
    Thanked
    552
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Zombie_eyes View Post
    Can i add that children will always be themselves; especially their horrible side around the people they feel most comfortable with.

    My children have autism, my middle son is an angel at school, at other peoples house, for his grandparents... He gets home after holding it all together for so long and he unleashes hell on us. Aggression, screaming, violent out bursts, how he really feels and his natural impulses to lash out and lose his sh1t... Because he knows we love him, and he knows that we'd never hurt him etc

    There are ways to deal with this tho. Firstly when we felt out of control as parents (my husband and i) we went to a child psychologist and learnt how to apply a parenting program to manage behaviour at home. Every week for almost two months we went to these sessions. Some stuff didnt work and wasnt right for us, but we have applied quite a few strategies and it has helped A LOT.
    I will second this. I have a highly sensitive daughter who holds in her emotions all day because she knows it isnt appropriate otherwise.
    When i get home from work she unloads on me.
    She doesnt so that because she hates me-she does it because im her safe person. She has enough trust in me that she can show any and every emotion and i will be ok with it.
    Its hard sometimes, it really is.
    Ive given her a key phrase to use before she vents now so i know whats coming.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to kezanazz For This Useful Post:

    LostYogaPants  (27-04-2015)

  6. #24
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    7,864
    Thanks
    5,071
    Thanked
    4,449
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/4/15100 Posts in a week
    I was going to also say you're her safe person so she's her around you as she knows you will love her unconditionally.

    I second being friends. Maybe one day on a Saturday organise a girls day out. Go shopping, but her a new outfit, then have lunch or morning tea at a cafe. In Adelaide there's a high tea place called just tickled pink that is all very pretty inside and they do tea parties and cupcakes etc. Then maybe go to a playground. Let her know at the start of the day what you've got planned. Then in the evening you can eat junk and watch some movies on the couch together.

    Big hugs. I'm not having the same issues as you but I also don't enjoy being a mum for different reasons so I can totally sympathise.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to A-Squared For This Useful Post:

    LostYogaPants  (27-04-2015)

  8. #25
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    10,012
    Thanks
    14,124
    Thanked
    7,612
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Hugs OP, what a tough situation - but you are definitely not alone. My DS2 also has autism - and he holds it pretty well together at school and with other people. But when he is here with me, he hits, punches, bites, kicks and has meltdowns.

    I absolutely second the idea that she takes it out on you because she feels comfortable with you - she is bonded with you. Sucks right? They love you, they should be nice to you!

    Maybe some therapy for her and some behaviour therapy from a parents angle for you?

    Also- any chance your EX can take her for a holiday at some point? Give yourself some time to have a rest and regroup?

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to beebs For This Useful Post:

    LostYogaPants  (27-04-2015)

  10. #26
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    722
    Thanks
    186
    Thanked
    167
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    You sound like an amazing mum, it's so hard to cop abuse and keep going back for more.

    I haven't read all the posts but I wonder if there is a way of asking her what she wants?

    To me there are 2 options: keep going as you are, perhaps with some counselling and just have this headset that you are going to get through it no matter what. The second option is to see if she/you might be better off with her living with her dad. This may be better for your relationship overall.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to bella25 For This Useful Post:

    LostYogaPants  (27-04-2015)

  12. #27
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,997
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,895
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    OP you are very brave and honest.

    I know how much you love your little girl.

    I don't have similar issues as you have expressed but I do know how it feels to hate and even wonder if you regret being a parent. I just wanted to say that I stand with you as someone that has felt this way often.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to harvs For This Useful Post:

    LostYogaPants  (27-04-2015)

  14. #28
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by bella25 View Post
    You sound like an amazing mum, it's so hard to cop abuse and keep going back for more.
    Thank you, that's a nice thing to say, especially since I feel like a failure at the moment.

    I have gotten her into a group counselling thing at her school for kids going through difficult things. She's only had one session so hopefully it will help. I will also try this friendship thing a few people have suggested. It's probably the only thing I haven't tried and I'm willing to try anything.

    I do wonder if it would be better for our relationship if she lived with her dad, but I don't think he wants her full time. Also I tend to agree with most who say that she acts out for me because she is with me more. She would probably do the same to her dad if she lived with him. Although I do want to give up for my sanity, at the same time I don't want to give up because I think I would regret giving her up. I couldn't imagine how hurt she would be if her mummy suddenly sent her away. I'm just scared she's going to end up like one of those teenagers on The Worlds Strictest Parents!

  15. #29
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,997
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,895
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    I'm sure you've thought of this, but have you tried altering her diet at all or keeping a food diary?

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to harvs For This Useful Post:

    LostYogaPants  (27-04-2015)

  17. #30
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked
    3
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    I'm sure you've thought of this, but have you tried altering her diet at all or keeping a food diary?
    Yeah I have thanks. We eat mostly an organic, wholefood diet. Her behaviour gets worse if she has preservatives, free glutamates and soy lecithin.

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to LostYogaPants For This Useful Post:

    harvs  (27-04-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Does anyone else get really annoyed at their parent/s?
    By fluffykitty in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-06-2014, 23:36

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Little Rugby NSW
Catch, weave, chase, run, but most of all have FUN! Little Rugby runs a NSW network of fun, safe and non-contact footy classes for BOYS and GIRLS aged 2yrs – 7th birthday.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!