When i get home from work she unloads on me.
She doesnt so that because she hates me-she does it because im her safe person. She has enough trust in me that she can show any and every emotion and i will be ok with it.
Its hard sometimes, it really is.
Ive given her a key phrase to use before she vents now so i know whats coming.
I was going to also say you're her safe person so she's her around you as she knows you will love her unconditionally.
I second being friends. Maybe one day on a Saturday organise a girls day out. Go shopping, but her a new outfit, then have lunch or morning tea at a cafe. In Adelaide there's a high tea place called just tickled pink that is all very pretty inside and they do tea parties and cupcakes etc. Then maybe go to a playground. Let her know at the start of the day what you've got planned. Then in the evening you can eat junk and watch some movies on the couch together.
Big hugs. I'm not having the same issues as you but I also don't enjoy being a mum for different reasons so I can totally sympathise.
Hugs OP, what a tough situation - but you are definitely not alone. My DS2 also has autism - and he holds it pretty well together at school and with other people. But when he is here with me, he hits, punches, bites, kicks and has meltdowns.
I absolutely second the idea that she takes it out on you because she feels comfortable with you - she is bonded with you. Sucks right? They love you, they should be nice to you!
Maybe some therapy for her and some behaviour therapy from a parents angle for you?
Also- any chance your EX can take her for a holiday at some point? Give yourself some time to have a rest and regroup?
You sound like an amazing mum, it's so hard to cop abuse and keep going back for more.
I haven't read all the posts but I wonder if there is a way of asking her what she wants?
To me there are 2 options: keep going as you are, perhaps with some counselling and just have this headset that you are going to get through it no matter what. The second option is to see if she/you might be better off with her living with her dad. This may be better for your relationship overall.
OP you are very brave and honest.
I know how much you love your little girl.
I don't have similar issues as you have expressed but I do know how it feels to hate and even wonder if you regret being a parent. I just wanted to say that I stand with you as someone that has felt this way often.
I have gotten her into a group counselling thing at her school for kids going through difficult things. She's only had one session so hopefully it will help. I will also try this friendship thing a few people have suggested. It's probably the only thing I haven't tried and I'm willing to try anything.
I do wonder if it would be better for our relationship if she lived with her dad, but I don't think he wants her full time. Also I tend to agree with most who say that she acts out for me because she is with me more. She would probably do the same to her dad if she lived with him. Although I do want to give up for my sanity, at the same time I don't want to give up because I think I would regret giving her up. I couldn't imagine how hurt she would be if her mummy suddenly sent her away. I'm just scared she's going to end up like one of those teenagers on The Worlds Strictest Parents!
I'm sure you've thought of this, but have you tried altering her diet at all or keeping a food diary?
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