I feel like I can only say this anonymously. I don't like this parenting thing, I regret it. I don't think I'm cut out for this job, I suck at it. I just have to look at my daughter to see how crap I am, she's a monster! Of course I love her more than anything and that's why I haven't given up. I have seriously been thinking about sending her to live with her dad, but I just can't do it. But maybe it would be the best thing for her. She gets along with him, she behaves for him. She hates me no matter what I do.
I've tried everything to fix things but nothing works. I try to do nice things for her like play games, take her out, or treat her to something and often it ends badly with her being ungrateful or rude to me, yelling or abusive, I did something wrong, so why should I bother?! I am under so much stress it has affected my health and I can't get a job because of her. I want to work.
She doesn't listen, she treats me like crap, she hits, screams, yells abuse, yells over me yet is an angel at school. She has moments with her dad but nothing like this. I just think we clash or she hates me, we shouldn't live in the same house, we don't get along. I wonder if it would be best for me and her dad to swap rolls, he can be the full time parent and I have her every second weekend. I could have a life again and go back to work. But a part of me doesn't want to give her up, but maybe that's selfish and I should do what is best for her. I look at other kids at her school and they are so good, of course they have their bad moments but they are mild compared to my kid.
She was such a great baby, I miss that stage. I will never have anymore kids, I know that now.