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  1. #1
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    Default I need a miracle

    I have tried to discipline my 3 year old DS and nothing is working. I dont know what to do with him. He never, ever listens. He has gotten so much worse since my last cry for help!
    The other day he was being a royal pain in the bum so we sent him to his room for time out and eventually shut his door as he kept coming out. After 3 minutes i went in to check on him and he had peed all over his bed, purposely! There is no way it was an accident as he had gone to the toilet 15 minutes before time out.
    He did the same thing again when we had his door shut at night as it was bed time and he was watching a movie except he had a nappy on, he took it off and peed all over his bed.
    Also for the last 2 weeks he has been waking up during the night and jumping in mine and DP bed. Every night. He just wont go back to sleep in his bed either when we put him back, he screams, loudly. We make sure he is warm, we make sure he isnt hungry and leave a water bottle on his bedside table. He has a night light. We try to make him feel comfortable but for some reason he just isnt. I honestly dont know whats going on with him but it is completely not normal for him. Something you have to see to believe.
    Can anyone that has dealt with a child like this give me some hope that it will get better? Because so far it has just gotten worse and im finding it really hard to be calm about something that is getting worse every day. I dont want to come across as a whiny parent but i dont have any help from my family or DP family. They just give stupid advice or have none at all.

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    Hey OP, I'm no expert with anything like this but I couldn't read and run.

    I'm not sure about closing the door for timeout - if you want to do time outs could you keep him in an area where you and DP can always see him? For example the kitchen? It will be a massive pain but I don't think a time out would be fully effective if he's able to be in his room with no supervision for 3 minutes doing whatever he wants.

    As for the weeing on the bed I think the best thing for it is to get a mattress protector so it's heaps easier to clean and don't say anything to him about it at all. Get him clean pyjamas and a fresh set of sheets and make him change everything himself. If you think 3 is a little young to be doing this then you could always just not say anything at all and change it all yourself and put him back into bed without a word.

    Sometimes children will do anything it takes to get attention. It's important to be really consistent. If one night it takes him 40 minutes of jumping on your bed to make you let him sleep with you the next night you're just giving him positive reinforcement for doing it. If I jump on mum and dads bed I get rewarded by being given their bed to sleep in that night.

    It's so tough OP. I'm sorry that you're having a tough time. It will get better.

  3. #3
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    What did you do when he peed on the bed? How did you react?

    The only thing I can think of is completely ignoring his behaviour and over the top rewarding good behaviour.

    Sorry no other advice but good luck . Sounds really tough.

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    We only shut his door that one time. When he peed on the bed i really wanted to lose it as id just changed his sheets but i said to him that it is the wrong thing to do and that he needs to pee in the toilet and not on his bed (he already knows that though)
    Its just horrible though because he knows he is doing the wrong thing but constantly disobeys us and we are consitant with everything but nothing seems to be working.

  5. #5
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    This sounds horrible.

    My only advice would be putting him reflection time somewhere you can see him (like a PP has already suggested.)

    If he gets up or moves, make no eye contact, no sound.. Just put him back where he is supposed to be.
    As he's 3, 3 minutes sounds fair.
    It might take you an hour to get 3 minutes from him but stick it out.

    When times up (after patting yourself on the back), get down to his level and explain why he was there. Hopefully he would of calmed down a little by this stage.

    I have zero advice on the peeing on the bed part.

    Good luck.

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    hi fluffykitty, I would have really lost my s!!! at the peeing on the bed. im sorry, but im being honest, and I when my child was three I was much younger and with a shorter fuse. I would suggest only have time out in a common area where he can be seen. you have said you are consistant, and that is number one for me. I was able to discipline my kids with 123 magic, sort of practise. and as they got older, I would ground them from any outside activities. so they might miss a bluelight disco or something similar. have you tried removing toys, stopping any play / tv time that he will feel sad about missing. you need to find something that will make him understand that he has consequences for his actions. it is not easy, but remember the important thing is, discipline equals teaching, equals self control . all these things together makes a whole person. hugs, marie.

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    Sorry your having a hard time.

    Try the time out mat just a small mat from any store (reject store, big W doesnt have to be flash). Put it in an area you can see, but that is not in view of the TV or anything else fun. When DS does something wrong give him a warning.

    (name) this is your warning. If you continue to do ( behaviour) then you will go on the time out mat. If continues the behaviour then take him/her to the time out mat. Let he/she sit there for minute/age. If they come off which the child will most likely do so then take them back without words. Without frustration or anger etc. Keep this up for as long as it takes to get them to stay there for the minutes required per age (3yrs= 3 minutes). After finishing the time required then get down to childs level and say (name) I put you on the time out mat because you did not listen to mum/mummy. I asked you to stop (example hitting your baby sister). And you did not stop. Now I would like an apology. Hopefully the child will say sorry and then you cuddle say you love them and continue on with the day.

    Peeing on the bed is the childs way of getting your attention. Sad but true. Well mum has closed the door..hmmm what will press mums buttons peeing on the bed. Instant attention. woohoo.

    Get a mattress protector and don't even acknowledge the peeing on the bed. Leave it, Im serious. Just don't even acknowledge it. Change the sheets if you have to later but don't even give it the time of day in front of your child. I hope with no attention from you this will become old in a week.

    But make sure you are spending quality time and attention when your child is doing well and your playing with him/her.

    I hope this helps you. Worked a treat with my nephews and my own.

  9. #8
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    Has anything changed in his life recently? Could he be craving your attention more at the moment for any reason?

    The peeing on the bed when he's separated from you by a closed door sounds like something kids may do when they need attention. Could this be a factor for your DS?


 

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