I am a fulltime working mum of 2, ds7 and ds9.
My children started living with my partner and i full time in february, after dad went a little AWOL.
Before this they were staying with us on weekends, and with dad (in the grandparents family home) during the week.
When they moved in i started driving them to school, which is right next to the grandparents home (which dad has been moved out of) and a 40minute round trip in morning traffic. It became apparent that i had to leave my jobs,as it was causing too much time issue. I got a job closer to home, and its on the way to the kids school.
Last week they started getting the bus to and from school (i drop them off at my work, and they come to work after school).
My ex is convinced that he is 'having a break', of course this is a break from being unemployed, letting his mother do most of the things for the boys, and having the weekends off. He thinks he will waltz back and take them at some point. That will NOT HAPPEN. now i finally have them,he wont be getting them back.
My issue is that I have been broke for a whilse now, and was finally getting back on my feet before the kids moved in. After constant school things,and our rent and expenses going up, even after getting a better paid job, im still broke and paying back my partner.
Of course with my ex being unemployed theres nothing i can do money wise from him. His parents have been away, which has interupted the schedule of them having the kids once a fortnight.
On top of that i have had a very bad flu for nearly 3 weeks now, and not been able to take any time off work.
To be honest im just feeling like giving up.
i wont obviously, but the feeling lingers sometimes.
Any time i have, i cant do anything due to time or money restraints. My partner goes out for drinks with friends every now and then,and im finding myself very jealous of it.
I just need a vent really. And maybe someone to tell me it will all be ok. Sometimes i feel it wont.
My partner and i have never gone out a lot, but we used to go for a walk every week or so, and maybe catch a movie once every few months, and go to dinner on special occasions. We just haven't done anything, we even missed out anniversary dinner last December, and nothing for valentines. He spends all his time gardening, and i've hit depression where i don't want to leave the house to go for a walk because its too cold, and i dont want to be on my own.
The only time i leave the house is to go to work or buy things for school.
Im just sick and tired of being sick and tireed.
I know in my heart it will be ok.
Thank you for listening to my pathetic ramblings ladies.