I'm seeing a psychologist about some family / relationship/ mood issues. I thought pnd but the sessions have been more about dd1s worrying behaviour and dp's lack of concern. I've been feeling better getting some things off my chest and having a professional recognise that I am legit to be concerned. However I feel like my own emotional issues have been side tracked. I was feeling quite positive and did the Edinburgh scale thinking of a month ago and got 17! When I tried to improve that thinking of now I still got 14. I'm not sure what that means? I'm coping much better now and no longer crying but some of the symptoms in that link described how I had been feeling a lot of the time. Except I never had bonding issues or felt disconnected to my baby. I wonder if I just love the baby stage so much that masks how I'm really feeling? I feel with all 3 kids I so desperately wanted to make the most of every baby second but also worried so much that time was passing too fast, that any bad day I had could be damaging them yet couldn't trust anyone else with them. But in the other 2 times I had much more support this time I've been so overwhelmed with 3 kids and lacking support and feeling like I needed to be super mum to make up for dp's lack of interest in this unplanned bub. Sorry rambling now but thing that really hits a cord is worrying that if I admitted how I was feeling that my baby could be taken away. I've been almost obsessive with my attempts to look like I'm coping with it all. I seethe with annoyance at dp's apparent expectation that I just do everything even though when I do finally ask for help I get it. Argh. I guess it didn't help that he called me a nut job when I tried to discuss dds behaviour. His whole family are emotional deserts so having his mum here for the first 3 months probably didn't help. I'm not sure about my psychologist but I guess there are so many factors to consider that getting off track and finding out what's really going on would be hard for a stranger when I can't even figure it out and it's my life!!