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  1. #1
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    Default Grief - dog owners

    For those of you that have had a very much loved pet who dies suddenly.. How long did it take you to stop feeling like absolute Sh.it? Were you ever able to get another dog or was it all just too painful?

    Our beautiful boy got out of our garden over Easter and was hit by a car. He died instantly. I blame myself for not making sure the gate was closed (even though it was DH going in and out of it all morning). I blame myself because I didn't notice he was gone and assumed he was lounging out the back like normal. I blame myself because I was out calling for him and if I had stayed at the road for 5 more minutes instead of going out to check the reserve I would've seen him and been able to stop him from running across it.

    Every day just gets harder. I'm struggling to cope and I'm getting cross with DD over the smallest things. I hate who I'm becoming. We've trialled 2 dogs since and both have been with us for less than 24 hours because they just aren't right. They aren't my boy. I don't know if I'll ever feel the same way about another dog. Buddy was just perfect for us. I don't even want to live in this house with my little family anymore because everything just reminds me of him.

    Does this ever get any easier? I don't know how long I can keep my head above water feeling this way.

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    Big hugs to you. I feel so sad reading your post.

    In answer to your question...we lost a much adored cat over 11 years ago now. He was truly a family member. He was bitten by a brown snake so it sudden like the death of your beloved Buddy. It honestly was 6 weeks before the horrible grief started to subside. I had to put everything away of his - food dishes, climbing pole etc etc as I couldn't bear to look at them. After about 6 weeks it started to get more bearable. We did get another kitten but not until about 3 months after we lost Oscar. I wasn't ready until then.

    Hang in there. I know it's horrible but it will get easier x

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    LaDiDah  (23-04-2015)

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    I'm so sorry to hear as I know how much it hurts when things like this happen. Pets become part of the family & it hurts so much when something happens to them. I just wish I had something to say that would help you. I know from personal experience, I've had one cat who I had for 12 years & 2 dogs that we had for about the same length of time before they passed. When they did it hurt so much. One of our dogs was attacked in the yard & was completely unexpected. It took me a little while of having no pets (about a year) before I felt ready to get another one. I was upset for a long time. I know it's easy for others to say but think of all the joy & love they bought to your life while they were here. When you're ready to get another one, it won't replace the one you had but will be able to bring the same good things back into your life. I absolutely love & adore the dogs we have now. At the time I couldn't imagine getting any more pets but now I couldn't imagine life without them & am glad we got them I saw a beautiful poem put on Facebook a while ago that I think was posted on the Australian working dogs rescue page. It made me tear up but it was written beautifully. If I can find it, I'll post it for you.

    Huge hugs to you & your family. Oh & please don't blame yourself, it's nothing anyone did but one of those awful things that just happen.

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    its so hard. Your pet is a member of your family, and loss and grief takes time. Even more so when its unexpected.

    I wouldnt try and rush into getting another dog just yet. Give yourselves time ....


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    My baby go killed last Tuesday morning. I watched it happen. My son let the cats out. I was up earlier than normal. Bad timing. We comforted him as he died but we couldn't do anything else.
    I have swore off animals now. That was the last straw.
    I don't blame anyone. The driver didn't stop but he wasn't speeding so it's hard to even hate him for hitting my cat.
    I cried all day, even at work. But I have moved on. These things happen. Fact of life.
    Hope you find your way and don't blame yourself.

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    I'm so sorry for all those of you who have lost a pet and thank you so much for replying - I know how much it hurts for me talking about pets I've lost so thank you.

    I so desperately want to give another dog a lovely home but so far they just don't measure up to Buddy, I can't stop myself from comparing and I don't think I'll ever fall in love with another dog the way I fell for him. It's harder because my little girl and Buddy had just started becoming good friends and she calls for him every now and again. Our cat has been miserable since he died as well. She keeps waiting out by the gate to the reserve cause she used to meet us there after walks. It's been so hard getting her to come inside at night because she's just waiting for him.

    We were so lucky to find him (he was a rescue dog) and I just can't see how we will ever be that lucky twice - especially since I feel like we should be punished for letting him down like that.

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    Sending through great big hugs to you.
    We had to have our 3 year old pup put to sleep in 2011. We felt like **** for so long and questioned our decision so much for months.
    Its only this year that we have been able to get another pup, shes the same breed but completely different personality.
    Theres still not a week that goes by when i dont think about her-it does get easier though as now i remember the good times

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    Big hugs! Ive never lost a pet suddenly but have lost a few to old age/illness that have been with us for many years &;it hurts. It gets easier but i still sometimes tear up thinking about them.

    We lost our old Cocker last year, he was 15. We got him when he was a puppy. He was my first dog (just had cats before him) & he was amazing. We had to have him put to sleep because he was sick, had tumours etc - the vets did what they could but it just got to the point where his quality of life was affected. I still miss him so much but it gets easier.

    Dont rush into getting another dog. Maybe wait a bit.

    You say in your post that you dont think you can ever find another dog like him. Dont try. He was unique & will always hold a special place in your heart. But our hearts are big & theres room in your heart to love another dog one day - he will never replace the one you lost & shouldnt.

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    Huge hugs. Remember that despite what other people say you haven't lost a pet, you've lost a family member. The routines you have in your life are affected by him and it will take time to adjust your routine.

    I agree with a pp who said not to try and replace him. Get another dog when you are ready but don't go looking for another Buddy.

    I'm also a firm believer that the right pet will come along at the right time.

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