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  1. #21
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    I appreciate the replies on both sides. Def some food for thought, thanks.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABigDeepBreath View Post
    Have you explored with DD exactly what makes it hard for her to keep up the maintenance of her pets? She clearly loves them and understands the consequences, but something is making it hard for her to follow through. If you can figure out together what that is, you can then come up with some strategies to help her follow through.
    She's lazy, she readily admits it. She'd rather be on the computer or reading than cleaning out the hutch.

  3. #23
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    Pets shouldn't just be given away once you've had enough of them as stated by a previous poster. Personally I think looking after pets shouldn't be the responsibility of one person, pets to us are part of the family therefore we all contribute in every aspect of their care. The boys are both involved in feeding them, bathing them, cleaning up after them, playing with them. I think it's too much to expect a child to have all the responsibilities on her own as much as she may have wanted it initially. If you really don't want to care for the pets I would find them a new home in this instance and ensure you don't get anymore.

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  5. #24
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    I just want to reiterate she isn't expected to do everything with them and they are a family thing. DH helps her clean out the cages and I often feed them fresh vegies. But she won't do even the barest of tasks with them. We don't expect her to do everything with them. Just take some initiative to feed and water them without being nagged every single day.

    We don't want to give them away we are just struggling to offer them the environment the deserve atm with DD not doing the right thing.
    Last edited by delirium; 19-04-2015 at 12:46.

  6. #25
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    Can you put new rules in place- e.g. no tv, phone, computer, reading, etc if pet stuff isn't done.
    You agree on her responsibilities regarding the pets, say that you will not remind her, and if it is not done she doesn't get screens/downtime. And don't remind her. You would have made it clear what is expected, write it down. Just enforce no XYZ as she knows why.

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    I agree that pets are the whole families responsibility, & that ultimately the responsibility often falls to the parents - however, at 11 she is old enough to put in her fair share and help out and do her bit too. I would maybe set up a jobs chart or something to break it down for her & make it manageable - eg, so she can tick off food & water each day, & cleaning out the cage on saturdays. Its too much for you to shoulder it all with a new bubba. Otherwise i would give them away or hope they dont have too long a life span... lol, Im a bit heartless like that

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Can you put new rules in place- e.g. no tv, phone, computer, reading, etc if pet stuff isn't done.
    You agree on her responsibilities regarding the pets, say that you will not remind her, and if it is not done she doesn't get screens/downtime. And don't remind her. You would have made it clear what is expected, write it down. Just enforce no XYZ as she knows why.
    Yep that's exactly what we've agreed upon. The tasks are clearly outlined on the whiteboard. If she doesn't do them, she will lose computer and ipod privileges.

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  10. #28
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    I don't like the idea of giving pets away, but I think it's fair in this case.

    Circumstances change...and the reality is that if you're struggling to look after them properly, and your DD isn't willing to, then they deserve to have a home where they'll be well cared for.

    There's no way I'd be doing the full care for guinea pigs for an 11 year old if I were struggling with it. I'd start looking into finding them a more suitable home.

  11. #29
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    Default Fair or unfair?

    I think if she would rather be on the computer or reading, those things need to be the consequence. No computer or books etc until you have changed the cage and given fresh food and water. Every single day- if you push through it now, it will eventually become habit for her. Make it the first thing she does when she gets up in the morning.

    Eta- just saw you have done this, nm.

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  13. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by CakeyMumma View Post
    I think if she would rather be on the computer or reading, those things need to be the consequence. No computer or books etc until you have changed the cage and given fresh food and water. Every single day- if you push through it now, it will eventually become habit for her. Make it the first thing she does when she gets up in the morning.

    Eta- just saw you have done this, nm.
    This.


 

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    By harvs in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
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