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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by CompletelySavvy View Post
    What pets are they?

    At the risk of offending and ****ing you off (i really dont mean too) is children will ALWAYS say yes ill look after them yes its my responsibility etc however they are still just kids. If parents are to get pets for the children i think they need to be 100% aware that ultimately they will be the ones looking after the pets. Its normal. Its what kids do. If the parents arent committed then they shouldnt get them no matter how many promises the kids make.
    Sorry delirium
    They are guinea pigs. Don't apologise, I asked for opinions. We got them for her to teach her responsibility and I'm not sure at 10 they should be our job but I do see where you are coming from

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gentoo View Post
    That would be fair on your DD, but not on the pets. If you permit your child to get a pet, you're ultimately taking on the responsibility yourself to look after them, come what may.
    It's a hard one as I know how busy and tired you can be with a baby and other children to look after but I kind of agree with this.

    Pets are not objects that we give away when we are tired of them. When getting a pet for a child it is also our responsibility ... sometimes children don't grasp what is involved...they don't have the life experience.

    I would also be worried that in giving them away you are enforcing the idea that pets are disposable.

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    Have you explored with DD exactly what makes it hard for her to keep up the maintenance of her pets? She clearly loves them and understands the consequences, but something is making it hard for her to follow through. If you can figure out together what that is, you can then come up with some strategies to help her follow through.

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    I think that pets are ultimately adults' responsibility, and no matter how much kids promise to look after one, parents shouldn't get them unless they're prepared to look after them themselves. So I wouldn't give them away. At 11, she's old enough to help out around the house, and I'd be making pet care one of her chores with the same consequences for not doing her chores as for any other chore.

    I also don't like the threat of giving away pets as I worry that it sends the message that 'if you don't behave, we might send you away too'. I see pets as part of the family, not with the same status as toys to be given away.

    I completely understand that others see it differently, and that's fine.

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  6. #15
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Can you set up a chart to track her caring for them with any lapse of more than 2 days gives a warning, 3 warnings and they get rehomed.

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    I don't think I want to say fair or unfair. I mean if you made a mistake and a decision has to be made just take the emotion out of it because emotion clouds the right decision. If your pet is not being cared for and it's only going to get worse than that pet deserves to be in a place that is better suit for its needs. If you are holding onto it for guilt of not looking fair or unfair it's just going to make things worse.

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    I think it's fair @delerium. Sometimes things change. What about a couple who buys a dog which is not suitable around children because they think they can't have children but they get pregnant and they have to sell the dog?

    Or a single person suffers a serious injury and can no longer take their big dog for walks anymore or care for it?

    Or in Dels case it all becomes too much with a new baby and other new commitments.

    All a reasonable reasons to have to give up a pet. I understand people see pets as members of the family and would compare it to giving away a child who was difficult to look after but I see it differently.

    I would just make sure I knew the pet was going to a good home. Maybe you could see if a family from your kids' school would like the pet?

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    I agree with A-Squared. Sometimes circumstances change, if the pets aren't getting the attention they deserve, then isn't it good to give them a new home with a family that can give them the attention?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TeaAndToast View Post

    I would also be worried that in giving them away you are enforcing the idea that pets are disposable.
    This has def been on our minds which is why up to this point we have kept them. DH has been mainly caring for them so I want to point out they are being loved and cared for.

    But then it has also been on our minds that us continuing to care for them sends a negative message and is enabling her too. That mum and Dad will just pick up after her whenever she gets lazy.

    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    Can you set up a chart to track her caring for them with any lapse of more than 2 days gives a warning, 3 warnings and they get rehomed.
    We just did this not long ago. We have a chart on the whiteboard.

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    So you have threatened in the past to give them away? I think you need to follow through.

    Put an add on a bss page.

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