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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    This is what I meant too. I always use the term childish to mean sort of instinctive and primal, which is kind of what being emotion driven is, to me any way.

    It's exactly the way that I am/have been, and I have been working on combating those initial urges since my marriage broke down, as I think my inability to manage conflict and the anxiety I felt around that definitely contributed to it all. So no, I certainly didn't mean it as a put down.

    I was speaking from my own experience, in that I simply didn't have the skills naturally and had to make an effort to learn them.
    Yes, I'm not sure my intentions and my words are matching up at the moment but this was where I was coming from.

    OP, I guess my thing is that you and your little one are entitled to a safe place, one where things are mostly predictable and regular and if your partners responses are upsetting you on a regular basis than that's not ok. I hope that you can begin a dialogue with him - don't accuse him of anything, perhaps even a letter just using "I" statements eg "I feel scared and uncertain about the way you might react to things" - might start things off. The thing is, when you're in the midst of anxiety/depression/mental illness you can't see it, you become so used to it and your responses that it just becomes a vicious cycle. It's one that's hard to break and HE needs to want to break it. I guess you need to try and find a way to show him that this is hurting you and that it needs to change.

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to misskittyfantastico For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (18-04-2015),Mokeybear  (19-04-2015),SheWarrior  (18-04-2015)

  3. #22
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    @harvs and @misskittyfantastico that's exactly how I read it. I guess I've experienced it myself so know you don't mean it in an offensive manner. Primal & instinctive are good words.

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  5. #23
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    I didn't read it in an offensive manner either .

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    I think your Dh definitely needs to consult some specialist to analyse and control his emotions. I've seen many people getting better and improving their behaviour after getting professional help.


 

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