How do you know if someone has anger issues? As in what takes it from a normal emotion to something 'abnormal' or that signifies someone needs some help?
My DH's anger has always concerned me. He has never threatened us physically and I don't believe he would ever harm us physically but geepers he flies off the handle at small things and while he takes it 'away' (i.e leaves the room and goes stomping up the hall or punches a pillow or stomps out of a shop for 5minutes) I am concerned for his welfare but also concerned at what he is teaching our daughter.
However because he takes the anger 'away' does that mean he doesnt have anger management issues because he has learnt to 'control' his response or does the fact small things send him stomping off mean he does?
Im confused about the whole thing...
A few examples of recent 'issues' that to me were so minor but to him meant essentially a temper tantrum are:
- Travelling for Easter and eating in a fast food restaurant. He orders his roll then as they are making it he sees they are clearly beginners/not really knowing what they are doing & should be putting on and so with no manager in sight he says ' dont worry about it, im not paying for that and then he storms out of the building, the carpark and disappears over the road leaving DD and I in the shop (we were ahead in line so our rolls were already made). He came and found us in a nearby park about 10mins later with some different food but no apologies for running out on us or to our daughter who wasnt able to play in 'their playground' etc.
- Our popcorn machine broke when he went to use it. Turned it on and nothing happened. He started pulling at his hair, fidgeting and looking at it. I offered help and he then slammed the door up the hallway stomping/banging around for about 5minutes. DD asks 'whats all that noise coming from up there'.
- When he is driving he gets roadrage in the form of being anxious, swearing, sticking his finger up etc.
Obviously there are heaps more but these are just a few from the last 2 weeks where I've felt he behaves worse than our 3year old
So I guess what Im trying to find out is does this show both normal levels of anger and normal reactions to anger? Seriously I am quite unemotional so to me it is bizarre and he needs 'help' but maybe Im the 'weird' one so bubhub help me - what is normal?