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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    I went and took ds to one of these parties once. They stated no presents . So I didn't bring one. Everyone else bought one. As I was leaving the auntie of the birthday child asked me what I had bought as they wanted to do thank you cards. I was. REALLY annoyed. I lied and said a Winnie the Pooh book as I didn't want everyone to think I was a cheapskate. The mum came up to me a couple of times after that saying she couldn't find it. Never again.
    I think this is the worry. It has to be all or nothing.

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    "Gifts not expected, just the pleasure of your company, if possible."

    We have never written the word 'gift' on invites, as it is against the etiquette we were taught.
    However, if asked directly, and we didn't want presents, we would say so. If they insisted, we would request a book.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    "Gifts not expected, just the pleasure of your company, if possible."

    We have never written the word 'gift' on invites, as it is against the etiquette we were taught.
    However, if asked directly, and we didn't want presents, we would say so. If they insisted, we would request a book.
    Yes - it's an socially awkward thing that we have never attempted before. I don't think we would write it on the invites.

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    Maybe we should just invite people over for 'lunch', no invites and have cake as dessert (along with other nibbles of course). An informal party.

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  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post
    Maybe we should just invite people over for 'lunch', no invites and have cake as dessert (along with other nibbles of course). An informal party.
    I like this idea.

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    We did it was dd2 first birthday and we put no gifts please. Then if people questioned we suggested $5 donation to a charity close to their heart in her name

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post
    Maybe we should just invite people over for 'lunch', no invites and have cake as dessert (along with other nibbles of course). An informal party.
    Yes parties are a minefield really... there will always be something, someone does that causes offence. People seem unable to just go and enjoy themselves anymore. It's a fretting and anxiety.

    I remember mum just handing out invites, and booking for those people, because they would come (no rsvp needed). Now she invites, chases rsvps and books...sometimes there's extra people, sometimes less... drives her mad. The difference of 19 years!

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    I went and took ds to one of these parties once. They stated no presents . So I didn't bring one. Everyone else bought one. As I was leaving the auntie of the birthday child asked me what I had bought as they wanted to do thank you cards. I was. REALLY annoyed. I lied and said a Winnie the Pooh book as I didn't want everyone to think I was a cheapskate. The mum came up to me a couple of times after that saying she couldn't find it. Never again.
    Oh see that is really rude. I would have said straight up that the invite said no gifts and been passive aggressive by saying I didn't realise no gifts actually meant gifts were required or were being recorded. These types are worse than the ones that overtly ask for certain gifts. at least they are upfront. These types set you up.

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    DT75  (19-04-2015),LaDiDah  (18-11-2016),LoveLivesHere  (19-04-2015)

  11. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Oh see that is really rude. I would have said straight up that the invite said no gifts and been passive aggressive by saying I didn't realise no gifts actually meant gifts were required or were being recorded. These types are worse than the ones that overtly ask for certain gifts. at least they are upfront. These types set you up.
    I agree - what they did to you at the party was horrible. If they say no gifts, then there's no way in hell one should be going around asking about one, let alone what it was.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post
    I agree - what they did to you at the party was horrible. If they say no gifts, then there's no way in hell one should be going around asking about one, let alone what it was.
    Well I was probably just as annoyed as the other party guests tbh. For going against what the party host had requested they in buying presents just made me look bad. I felt awful.


 
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