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  1. #1
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    Default Newly separated- centrelinks expectations?

    Hi, I'm a 37 year old newly separated mum of 3 boys, who are nearly 10, 8, and 6 years old. Literally just happened Monday night, after a long hard road of constantly forgiving my husbands sexting and lying.

    The thing that scares me the most about this situation is what is centrelink going to expect from me? I have a tear in my shoulder and suffer from chronic fatigue. Mostly hits me in the evenings and although I know I'm awake now, I'm lying down, which is what helps. I am tired, but slightly wired, but also scared at the same time. Very scared.

    I'm scared of what centrelink will expect of me. I'm scared that I'll hurt my shoulder more, or I'll get run down again like I used when I worked a long time ago. I'll obviously have 3 children to be there for as well. I'm not against working or studying but past experiences do make me feel a little anxiety over the thought of going back to the work force or school. It's been 14 years. And I'm literally qualified for nothing.

    My XDH is saying don't go to centrelink yet. That he needs time. That's nice, but I gave him 15 years of my life. And I could never trust him again, I know this. Even though I also know I still love him. I believe it is officially over, but I haven't finished my claim as I am so scared of what my future holds.

    Has anyone been where I am? Could you share some light on the subject for me please?

    Thanks, Kitty.

  2. #2
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    Well first of all congratulations for being strong and making a tough decision.

    I'm not sure what you mean by what Centrelink expects. Could you elaborate?

    You will be required to contact Child Support AUSTRALIA or payment may be withheld. You can advise them of a private agreement although this means they will not collect on your behalf. In this way it can be more of a formality if things are amicable enough.

    I would recommend ringing Centrelink asap. You can always retract it but the paperwork takes a while.

  3. #3
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    Thanks for your reply. It's tough because I have always loved him and stood by him, and forgiven him. But I feel he's blaming me and I think that if he's not blaming me then he has to blame himself and he mentally can't do that. And so he's never going to change. And I need to tell myself that the man I loved is no longer there. He needs major help. Hurts badly. His whole family and mine can't believe he is being so selfish. And his mother keeps telling me to hang in there and let him pay for everything still. But for how long? Til he suddenly gets a girlfriend and moves out? It's just really bitter and raw. And it's scary.

    What I mean is what will they expect when it comes to me getting a job? When will they expect that? Will they say "you have to take any old thing" or will they take into consideration my injury and illness? It's the unknown that scares me. Are there mums out there that aren't working but get by on theirs payments? I'm not lazy. I'm just scared about the pain in my arm and being expected to work a night job stacking shelves for example is not going to work for my kids, arm or illness. I can't sleep on that arm, it's hurts to hang out washing, and I've had physio and basically been told if I don't watch it I'll have to have an operation. But as a mum you know how much you have to clean and generally use your arms on a daily basis. And my husband was never home in the last year. So I had to keep going. It's just so unclear and I went there on Weds to discuss all this and they put me onto a computer to register me and start my claim and told me that I can finish my claim at any time as I told them I wanted advice as to what will happen and I didn't get that. I got nothing. No advice. I told them about my chronic fatigue and shoulder tear and they didn't say that that will get put into consideration.

    I don't know, maybe I make no sense at all. I'm just so scared.

  4. #4
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    @KittyHawk78 first things first.. stay strong and big hugs xox

    I know that would be a very difficult time for you and scary for what the future holds.

    It's hard to say what amount you will get or what's taken into consideration because cases are assessed individually. In saying that to give you an idea I did stay home on payments until my ds was 4.5yrs but had the option to do so until he was 8. You have to live on a very very tight budget as I didn't receive child support. They would put you in single mum parenting payment. They will withhold payments if you don't ask for child support.

    As for jobs when the times come they do enrol you in a week of fulltime "classes" that you apply for I think it was 20 jobs a day. Attending these is compulsory unless you get medical exemption.

    I hope this info helps. You can also go online to centrelink website and use the calculator to get an estimate of payments you'll receive.

  5. #5
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    Speaking from recent experience here!

    Finish your claim and get it in asap. If there is no DV/risk to yourself or your children it can take months for them to process your claim & for you to start recieving benifits.

    Secondly with your condition they will need a letter from your GP as to phyisical/mental health conditions.

    I also have a serious injury & am suffering from PTSD (My youngest is 5)

    I keep begging centerlink to line me up with a job service but they wont hear a bare of it until my GP instructs them to do so.

    Ive enrolled to study end of this year.

    Generally when your youngest is at school they expect you to be involved with a minimum of 10 hours work or study each week to recieve your benifits.

    If you feel this is too much for you just tell centrelink & ask your GP for help & you'll get an exemption.

    Sorry to hear about your situation too xxx

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    Good Morning

    Sorry you are going through such terrible situation

    Having worked in the industry for a very long time, I can tell you that if you for example go on to parenting payment single etc & your youngest child is 6 years, you will come onto the system as part time activity tested which means that that they will put you to a Job service provider and you will be expected / assisted in finding employment part-time (which is classed as 15 hours per week) or finding a suitable course/study that meets requirements. You will also have job search requirements which you'll be expected to apply for x amount of jobs per fortnight.

    Because you will be on single parenting payment and be the main care giver of your children they won't expect you to work nights or crazy hours Etc.. Hopefully you could work with them (job services provider) in finding a part time job within school
    Hours etc.

    They can help you with up skilling etc (not sure what state your in).

    With your current medical conditions the only other thing you could do is speak with your doctor and if he thinks you aren't ready for work due to medical conditions get him to fill out a medical exemption form which is a Centrelink based form and then you can hand that in at time of you discussing your new circumstances etc. if your exemption is accepted (which should be) they may give you a certain time frame to get the medical condition treated before they make you start looking for employment etc

    Sorry if this doesn't make much sense my 3 year old has been jumping around me whilst writing it and my brains not functioning to well as I'm almost due for baby 2 haha

    But if you want to know anything more please PM me I'd be happy to talk xx

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Beck87 For This Useful Post:

    Wise Enough  (18-04-2015)

  8. #7
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    Sorry might add, with getting your doctor to fill out medical conditions form etc, Centrelink could also reduce your work capacity as in say your only required to work 8 hours per week for example

    It's very much works on people's circumstances etc

  9. #8
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    Thank you so much. That's what I needed to know. I feel better about it all now. It's scary not knowing. I love my husband. I want him to get help. I'm up and down, I don't know how to feel about it all sometimes. One minute I hate him for this and the next I can't understand why he's in such a self destruct mode. His family is working on him but I have to say this isn't my problem anymore coz I tried so hard to make him see. But he's agreed today that I need to go to centrelink. I have actually already contacted them. And all I have to do is finish the claim. I'm glad I have. Now all the hard stuff will come but I hope he works with me to organise everything and not against me.

    Thanks again everyone.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to KittyHawk78 For This Useful Post:

    HappyBovinexx  (18-04-2015),superbuns  (18-04-2015)


 

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