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  1. #1
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    Default Oh boy, temper! What has happened to my 3 year old?

    I used to have a mild mannered boy.
    Now he's refusing to go to bed, staying up all hours and just doing his block.

    I can't believe it.
    He's completely changed.

    Okay during the day, no changes in his diet or anything else I can spot.

    Just won't go to bed. Demands the tv (DH puts it on, I turn it off).

    My eldest, who has ASD, goes to bed no problem and sleeps throughout the night. Not a drama.

    Yet his younger brother has turned into Satan.

    Has anyone experienced this?
    What do I do?

    Thanks.
    Yawning at 1.30am...

  2. #2
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    Does he still nap in the day? What time and for how long?

    Maybe he's sleeping too much or too late in the day and isn't tired enough to sleep at his bedtime?

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    Is your DS getting close to turning 4? Apparently around 4yo boys have a bit of a testosterone surge and can get pretty wild! I don't know if I'm allowed to link the article, as its from another parenting site/forum, but I've cut & pasted some it below:

    Did you wake up one day to find your beautiful and sweet little boy had been replaced by a loud, shouting, wrestling and super energised little monster? Well, don't worry you are not alone. In fact, the chances are that you have just entered the tornado that is your little boy's first major hit of testosterone.  

    According to Raising Boys author, Steve Biddulph, at the age of four little boys experience a huge surge of testosterone, approximately double their usual levels, and it is this which can be blamed for an increase in activities of a noisy, dangerous and extra boisterous nature. 

    Whilst this stage is totally normal for any boy’s development, it doesn’t mean that it’s any the less surprising, confronting or challenging as a mum, as Katie Burns explains.

    In terms of the strategies that Burns has adopted for dealing with this change in her little boy, she admits that “we are still learning what works.”  However, she has found that increasing Ollie’s one on one time with his dad has helped, as well as getting him out of the house more to run, jump, scoot or ride his bike in order to work off his excess energy.

    “I do choose my battles with him, as not everything is worth the fight,” she says. “I found the best advice came from his Kindergarten teacher, "keep it simple". He needs to learn that his actions fall into two categories, good choices or bad choices, and both have their consequences.”

    Whilst Collis says that this approach is not always effective, she believes it definitely stops some situations from escalating, particularly if a valued priviledge is taken away. On the flip side, Collis says that celebrating good behavior tends to encourage Sam too, so she is quick to acknowledge this as well.

    Hope this helps! At the very least, know that you're not alone!

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    Thanks for the heads up @Frankenmum. My DS is only 7 months but at least I've heard this so won't panic at nearly 4.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Thanks for the heads up @Frankenmum. My DS is only 7 months but at least I've heard this so won't panic at nearly 4.
    Yeah my DS is only 2yo and already a wild thing, so I'm fearful of what's in store, lol

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    It gets worse when he's 3???

    *dying*

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    Could he be getting too much sleep in the day? Just thinking he might not be tired at bedtime, hence the reluctance to go to bed.

    We found our DS very challenging just after he turned 3 - tantrums/meltdowns galore! It was pretty unruly actually - we struggled to take him out in public. Thankfully he settled down after a few months and at age 4, he's mostly pretty loveable

    My guess is he's probably going through a threenager phase. Just pick your battles, be firm but reasonable, and hope that it passes soon.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    It gets worse when he's 3???

    *dying*
    Sorry bro, it's true.

    I'd only ever heard of the famous 'terrible twos'. I was so unprepared

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    Firstly I feel your dh and yourself need to be a united team on this one. Your ds would be aware of the different rules (TV - no TV) between the two of you and is playing you off one another by the sounds of things.
    I would suggest a chat with dh first to agree on a plan and agree to support each other's choices. You might find once your ds can't twist you both against each other the game of stretching out bed time becomes less fun for him.
    I'd go back to basics - dinner, bath, book, bed, kisses and Lights off- walk away.
    If he gets up you calmly take him back to bed, no talking, no fuss, no lights on.

    Repeat.

    The first night will be the hardest. But honestly having mum or dad tuck you into bed over and over without any fuss gets pretty boring after a while - they all fall asleep eventually.

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    Does he wake through the night still? Does he snore?

    DS turned into a monster just before his 3rd birthday. DH and I were separated so I was on my own, working and I was exhausted. He was so so angry at everyone/everything. I'd pick him up from daycare and he was so tired, even though the FDC mum said he'd slept that day. I couldn't get him to be til 11pm most nights, I played movies for him out of exhaustion/desperation. He'd stir/wake 3-4 times a night. He'd wake in the morning and i'd say 'Goooood morning possum' he'd turn and shout 'DONT TALK TO MEE!!!' I seriously thought he'd been taken over by the DEVIL.

    DS's issue..... he snored!! Not all the time and not all night so I didn't think it was a problem but apparently the snoring meant that he wasn't getting a full, well rested nights sleep so it was this constant cycle of overtiredness that was getting worse and worse and worse. He had his tonsils and adenoids removed just before his 3rd birthday and OMG the change was ASTOUNDING.

    Could this be your DS OP?
    (Sorry for the novel)

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