+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    At home
    Posts
    1,396
    Thanks
    601
    Thanked
    1,398
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Elderly Care Options

    My Grandmother has dementure ( and a life long attitude problem, but thats another thread ) and was admitted to hospital after a fall. My mother worked hard to make her home suitable for her to return to and have home care nurses come to her twice daily. My GM has been disobeying them and not taking her meds etc. This morning Mum has shown up to her place to find that Nan had dead bolted door (which prevents the nurses getting in). On top of that she has had a fall at some point and was on the ground. She had wet herself and had obviously been there a while.

    The ambulance was called and she has been taken to emergancy however the hospital has said they will release her if nothing is wrong with her.

    The issues are:

    My mother is one of 8, and she is the only one aiding in the care of GM. Mum has had to take time off work to care for her (which she simply cannot afford, shes risking losing her house already). If she is releaaed into Mums care she will basically need to be a full time carer as she wont be able to be left alone. Mum cannot not work and honestly she wont cope with the frustration of living with GM 24/7. I know she will lose the plot.

    I am of the belief that GM needs to go into a nursing home, but how does this work? Mum has been told it may take up to 3 months to get a place, and as mentioned above she cannot not work for 3 months.

    How do people cope in situations like this? I know its awful, but i keep thinking there are so many elderly with no family, so there has to be options regarding the care of elderly, especially those with difficult conditions? I am honestly worried about my mothers mental/financial health coping with this alone.

    It doesnt help that GM has never been a 'nice' granny, always sponged money from us and used to steal things from our home constantly. I think Mum holds alot of resentment towards her which then lowers her patience.

    I dont know what to do

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    454
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked
    143
    Reviews
    0
    Ask the hospital to do an ACAT referral ASAP. Once this is done you can apply to go on waiting lists for care facilities. Also may qualify you for respite care. When it comes to applying put her name down in as many places as you can and be prepared to take the first place that pops up.

    Getting your GM to actually agree to go into a home may be difficult too. Start talking to her about it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    At home
    Posts
    1,396
    Thanks
    601
    Thanked
    1,398
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by mkj View Post
    Getting your GM to actually agree to go into a home may be difficult too. Start talking to her about it.
    This might sound awful but do they have to agree? Surely if she keeps falling and not taking her medication she has proven not capable of living alone? She is so stubborn i already know she wont agree to anything

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    454
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked
    143
    Reviews
    0
    Start with the ACAT assessment. They come to her home/ or the hospital if that's where she is. Your mum will get a chance to have input so she can say for example what's been done and the outcomes.

    You never know. Sometimes after a fall etc they realise that they are not coping at home and can be more open to discussion on the idea. She doesn't have to go into a home but the ACAT gives the option. ( payout do need one to go into a home though)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    At home
    Posts
    1,396
    Thanks
    601
    Thanked
    1,398
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Can the hospital force a family member to take them into FT care?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    454
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked
    143
    Reviews
    0
    No if you are asked you can explain that you are unwilling/unable to take on her care on a full time basis.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,376
    Thanks
    820
    Thanked
    1,102
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Elderly Care Options

    Quote Originally Posted by heplusme View Post
    Can the hospital force a family member to take them into FT care?
    Edited...sorry I misread the question!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,376
    Thanks
    820
    Thanked
    1,102
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by heplusme View Post
    This might sound awful but do they have to agree? Surely if she keeps falling and not taking her medication she has proven not capable of living alone? She is so stubborn i already know she wont agree to anything
    She doesn't have to agree if it is deemed that she doesn't have 'capacity' to make a decision around where she lives. In this case VCAT will appoint a guardian to make decisions on her behalf and that guardian can therefore decide that supported accommodation/nursing home is the best decision.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    4,222
    Thanks
    894
    Thanked
    3,218
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Re. how long it takes, it depends on if you can find a facility with vacancies. Some do, others have waiting lists.
    Some of our residents have stayed in hospital after a fall waiting for a place in a nursing home, as it was too risky to send them home.
    And yes many of our residents come to us very sternly stating that they don't want to be here and that their family made them.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    173
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked
    40
    Reviews
    0
    I would get your Mum to talk to the medical team and explain all that is going on, or ask to speak to a social worker about it. If your GM has dementia formally diagnosed, they could assess her for capacity, to see how she is coping cognitively. Highlight that she isn't taking medications and refusing assistance.

    I agree with the previous suggestions of getting an ACAT assessment done- and ask for it to be completed whilst in hospital (much quicker that way).

    Good luck- it's a really tricky situation for you all.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Help with door decoations for elderly people
    By Myztiks#1Fan in forum General Chat
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-12-2014, 21:01
  2. Using 2 different day care options
    By clbj in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 20-05-2014, 17:33

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Softmats
Softmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and Premium Bubba Mat™ range of floor spaces are the best quality in the world.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!