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  1. #21
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    Well said @BlondeinBrisvegas, people seem to think they have the right to force opinions when it comes to childbirth and then child raising.

    @babybloom I think you're very brave having another baby after what you've been through and how you choose to birth is up to you and you only. Sure, a vaginal birth might go well but it may just as easily not go well and I dont think that's a risk you should take with your existing problems.

    My friend has such a traumatic vb that her child is going to be an only child.

    As a side note I hope you can look into getting a referral and seeing a specialist once you've had your baby as surely they can do something to improve your current situation.

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  3. #22
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    There will always be people that judge. Sometimes I even feel like we need permission to do something that is completely up to us anyway. Do what you want to do and dont feel you need to justify your decision. Good luck.

  4. #23
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    you poor thing I'm sorry that happened to you.
    I had a severe 4th degree tear, however I have healed 100% and have no problems now. I am due this September and also having an elective C-section, this has been recommended to me by all the midwives I've seen and 3 doctors. I won't lie and say at first I had a small desire to go natural, but after hearing the risks of tearing again over such extensive scar tissue that desire is gone now. You do what's best for you! Stuff anyone else that says otherwise.

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    ..
    Last edited by wobblermummy; 14-04-2015 at 18:34.

  6. #25
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    My goodness you poor thing! What a traumatic birth experience! It's totally fine to do whatever you feel is right for you & don't let anyone else tell you otherwise...your body, your choice. I'd defiantly be going for a C-section if I'd had the same or similar problems that you had with birthing. I really hope that you get things sorted & that things improve for you. I had an emergency CS with my first & am due to have a planned CS with my 2nd in 8 days time. Good luck to you💗

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by meredithgrey View Post
    Seeing as your hospital is recommending a caesarean, you're wanting a caesarean and with the problems you've described, I'd be definitely going the caesarean.

    Yes it's definitely possible to have minimal tearing after a previous 3rd degree tear, but you've already got so much damage, you wouldn't want to risk anymore.

    depending on how comfortable you are - you could either shock those people into silence by telling them the blunt truth about what happened last time and your ongoing issues, or you could just politely ask them to mind their own business.
    ^^This

    Don't let anyone else try to change your mind. From what you have written I believe that a c section will be more beneficial for both your physical and mental health.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #27
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    GET A C-SECTION!!

    I hope that didn't come across as rude but if you're looking for permission to do it then I wholeheartedly give you that permission. My first birth ended up in a emergency c-section and when we have a second I will absolutely be having an elective. There are no medals for giving birth naturally so do what you feel most comfortable with. The people telling you to birth naturally don't have to live with the consequences of that and aren't the ones pushing a baby through their vagin.as. When it's their body they can make that choice.

  9. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kazza78 View Post
    I had a 3c tear and I was told it's highly recommended for a cs. I just don't want to risk permanent damage
    It depends on the individual though. I had a 3c tear following forceps birth, then went to the post natal clinic for follow up a few times afterwards. Had a rectal ultrasound done and all was fine, no long term damage. So I am going for vaginal birth again as it's right for me. I've had a c section in the past too. So am making the decision based on all my own experiences.

    OP what you've been through sounds terrible. I hope you're getting some treatment for that!! Sounds like you need some further repair!! I absolutely would do what feeds right for you. So if that's a c section, go for it. It's certainly not easy, can have its own complications, but certainly doesn't sound advisable to have a vaginal birth in your situation.

  10. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bond Girl View Post
    It depends on the individual though. I had a 3c tear following forceps birth, then went to the post natal clinic for follow up a few times afterwards. Had a rectal ultrasound done and all was fine, no long term damage. So I am going for vaginal birth again as it's right for me. I've had a c section in the past too. So am making the decision based on all my own experiences.

    OP what you've been through sounds terrible. I hope you're getting some treatment for that!! Sounds like you need some further repair!! I absolutely would do what feeds right for you. So if that's a c section, go for it. It's certainly not easy, can have its own complications, but certainly doesn't sound advisable to have a vaginal birth in your situation.
    I was told my 'length'?? Wasn't long enough and it was also a combination of a quick 1st labour.
    And I guess I'm just super scared too of further damage. (That's just me though) 😀

  11. #30
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    Of course you can have a c section. Regardless of how your first birth went, it's your body and your choice.

    It's also fine not to discuss your birth plans with anyone. Just don't enter into any discussion about it. Ime, if you say nothing about your birth plans, no one asks or comments. If you say you're planning a c sec, someone will have a horror story and / or an opinion. If you say you're planning on a vaginal birth, someone will have an equally bad horror story and an opinion on what you should do. Just don't enter into any discussions about it and back yourself.

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