I don't even know where to start. It's such a complex web of a story. Tonight I've been left alone, again. While my dp goes out with mates drinking and fishing. All his spare time is spent with his friends, the kids and I are never a priority unless it is an event that he *has* to attend. Or at least that's what it looks like. Sometimes I feel like I'm going a bit insane and maybe things aren't as bad as they feel so I try to talk to him about it and say that I feel like I never get to see him and we never has one in one time or family time. He invariably responds with, I try to spend time with you but you're always to tired. What he means is he comes home and wants sex but I'm asleep or to tired to engage. I'm 24 weeks pregnant, still nursing our 10 month old and I look after my 3 year old step son ft plus my 7 year old. I want to spend time together. I'd like him to pick up the reigns a bit when I need him. I fell I'll with the flu and had to beg him to watch the kids until bedtime so I could get some rest and then still I was the only one to get up to the baby in the middle of the night. I'm emotionally and physically drained but I feel like such a failure. He always comments on the state if the house, which I admit is verging on hovel status. I feel little inclination to bother when no one seems to care about me. When I bought up with him tonight my concerns his response was to 'get used to not seeing him because he's going to have to get a second job to pay for this new baby'. That cut me so deep. I just feel like I'm a burden, like I'm only around to cook and clean and be there for him when he wants. And I know he earns the money and he works hard at a job he hates for crap pay and he picks up work on weekends when he can find it. And it makes me feel so incredibly ungrateful that I even feel upset. But I just wish he'd spend time, proper time with me. He sat down on the couch this evening and said 'I'll watch this with you for 10 mins then I'm going to bed'. I had to choke back tears. It felt like such a token gesture. He came in to give me a hug goodnight as because I've been sick he's been sleeping in the spare room. I just don't even want him to touch me. Just leave me alone. Sorry for the rant. I literally have no one to vent to about this. I don't get out to make friends.