Sookie Stackedhouse (14-04-2015)
Still having no luck at all.
It's only going to get worse to.
I have to move ds2 to a different daycare soon. So I don't know if I should push weaning before then or give up until he is settled. I don't want him to hate the new daycare.
Should I just go cold turkey and try to deal with the massive adjustment meltdowns for a week or 2 or wait until we have him settled and can take out time?
I just want my body back!
I bf both of my children until three years of age. I was ready to stop feeding them both at about two years old and totally get the feeling of wanting your body back. I kept thinking they would self wean when ready but it didn't happen with either of mine and I just had to make the decision to wean.
Both of my kids were pretty verbal so I did a countdown until the last feed and I also told them there would be no more mummy milk because it was for babies and now they were bigger and didn't even need it anymore. I also told them a milk fairy came to take mummy milk once kids were big enough and didn't need milk anymore so there would be no milk left but they could always have mummy cuddles.
They both took weaning pretty well but I needed to be consistent with the cold turkey method. Both of them only really got upset once and after that would cheekily ask or gesture for milk but accepted there was no more mummy milk. My DS did on occasion use a bottle or dummy for the first few weeks after weaning.
If you really need to stop for your own sanity then stop, your child will adjust. It was also very helpful for us for DH to do night settling until the weaning had kicked in. Instead of kids coming into bed with me and suckling back to sleep, DH would lie with them in their beds to settle them back to sleep.
ETA- with my DS who was very attached to bf, I actually found he settled much better at daycare after he had weaned. It's almost like a switch was flicked and he became much more grown up and accepting of daycare after he weaned.
Last edited by DailyDiversion; 24-04-2015 at 21:59.
My kids are on melatonin. It just promotes the natural sleep hormone. that really eased my nerves about medicating my kids. But it doesnt keep them asleep, just helps the initial getting to sleep.
Anyway... My only advice is having three kids on the spectrum; that sometimes cold turkey is really the only way to get through to them.
When kids on the spectrum experience something, they will assume it will be that way forever. When it changes, even slightly... They lose their shiz as you would know.
Doing this in stages is only going to confuse him and make it harder to adapt and prolong the protesting and meltdowns.
May as well get it done all in one go.
Initially its gonna suck real bad. But whats happening now sucks real bad. And as long as you dont cave... He will eventually understand that this is how it will be.
Finally someone that gets exactly what I'm feeling and going through.
Ds1 self weaned at 4 months and it was just over.
Ds2 is not letting go. But as you said in stages is worse. I have been trying to get him to understand that I'm going to take it away. Count to 5 then off. He is not happy but is getting it.
He doesn't understand ouch yet. I can't just tell him it hurts get off.
My speech therapist said she put a plaster on her nipples and would still let them hold the boob just not feed. He doesn't get that at all.
Dh is no help. He is also on the spectrum and can't deal with it.
I'm going to have to bite the bullet.
I know I have to. But I'm so scared of the screaming. He needs it and I'm just going to take it away.
I'll see if I can face it tomorrow. Have my last feed tonight and tomorrow wrap myself up so he can't get it.
Being on the mummy guilt!
Its soooo tough. I really really feel for you.
You do have the strength to do this, i promise.
I didnt breastfeed, but having a dummy was my most severe childs major issue. I tried only at sleep times etc. he could not comprehend why he got it sometimes and not other times. So i took all his dummys (he was 3.5 at this stage) walked him out to the bin and showed him where i was putting them.
He lost his shiz for about 2 hours straight, then spent a week begging for it and having meltdowns when i said "all gone"
But he eventually just accepted it. It was difficult because he really used the dummy as a way to self regulate with his sensory processing disorder, but his teeth were suffering big time.
It was REALLY hard. But we got through it. I know you will too. And be a happier mum eventually because you wont be so damn tired and smothered.
Sookie Stackedhouse (25-04-2015)
I had the same problem with ds1 and dummies. He had his just at bedtime also. He got him to "buy" a toy with his. He slept with that instead. Took him a few weeks to stop begging.
Ds2 has never had one. Hated them.
My biggest fear is bedtime. He goes to sleep at daycare without me but never has at home. It's booby or no sleep.
Last night was the worst night in a long time. He screamed every time I tried to take away his booby. And he was Asleep! It lasted all bloody night.
Now I really don't think I have a choice.
I started the morning off with a start and told him it hurt.
He screamed for a few Minutes then I distracted him. I'm going to try to continue the day with that. I'm so touched out. I'm tired and grumpy.
So begins the first day.
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