Today in the doctors office DS did s massive Gary and the doctor looked over at DP thinking it was him
In Coles this morning, had the worst pain in my belly and it just happened. Was so grateful no one was around, you know it's bad when you're disgusted as your own scent!
Look, in the interest of blowing @harvs mind, I gary to the point where I'm known for it among my immediate family. I'm not allowed to eat onions any more but in my defence, I've had a bowel re-section!
I've had to start being more cautious about my Garys in front of DS as he now notices and fans his hand in front of his face and goes 'peeeewwww.' 😳 DH isn't taking the same approach...
I missed this thread first time around. Here's numerous tales of woe, from someone who suffers from IBS of the constipation and bloating variety:
- Ballet class when I was about 15, doing pointe exercises at the barre and a gary sneaks out. I made a sort of "hmp!" noise of surprise, and looked around to see if anyone had heard. The girl next to me who was the ultimate in female perfection caught my eyes in the mirror and smirked at me.
- Rehearsal for a contemporary dance production. Experimenting with different poses for a part that we had to choreograph ourselves, I did a sort of slow squat down with my legs wide and hands on my knees.... to the accompanying "music" of an enormous gary. Fortunately only three people heard... who promptly ****ed themselves laughing and never let me forget about it.
- Working at Target, I was in the staff lift alone and let off the most putrid gary. The lift stopped and another staff member got in. After about half a second he exclaimed, "Gees, did you drop ya guts or something?!" I denied it and said the stink was there when I'd gotten in the lift. I'll never know whether he believed me or not. I think he was probably pretty sceptical.
- Again at Target, my mum had made her delicious lasagne the night before, but it always gave me the most awful bloat and garys the next day. I'd started at 7am and there was no one around, so I was happily letting them go one after the other. Then a member of staff sought me out to ask me some questions, and we were pretty much surrounded by a green sulphurous mist. He never said a word, but I wanted to disappear into the floor.
- Play wrestling with my new boyfriend on the couch, he had his knees wrapped around me, front and back, and squeezed... and managed to squeeze a gary out of me. "Maybe I squeezed a little too hard," he said.
- Around 22 weeks pregnant, suffering awful constipation and as a result bloating. Spending the afternoon in our cabin on a cruise ship, DH thinks it's a good time to get busy. Let's just say that we had to call it off after a very forceful foreplay gary.
Not embarrassing now but funny I guess.
On my 21st birthday I was completely wasted. My friend had driven so was driving me and DP home which was about 25 minutes away. She kept having to pull over so we could spew on the side of the road (as you do - this includes a busy motorway). Apparently everytime I spewed I was ripping loud stinky Gary's. I woke up to a message from her asking if I had pooped myself.
Funny that this thread has popped up this week. Yesterday at work I walked into the bathroom at work and my colleague was there washing her hands. I said hello and went into the cubicle. As I was weeing, I let out a gigantic Gary and obviously my colleague knew it was me in there! I was mortified. Thankfully she's at the other end of the office so I don't see her often.
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