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  1. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I don't know. In my family/ cultural background kids accompany their parents everywhere. Kids sleep on mum or dad or somebody. It's not a big deal if kids don't nap at the specific time or go to bed at a certain time. I honestly don't know any Indian kids that keep to a 'schedule'. Nor any African babies from my circle of friends. IME kids will sleep when they are tired. My two have passed out in the most random places and positions. But I'm a cuddler so my kids once tired get popped into the carrier and put on my back. Then they pass out as they want to.

    I do know that this 7pm thing is a western thing. I've just returned from India and they all think my kids are bloody weirdos cos they go to bed most nights at 7.30pm. That's dinner time in Mumbai!
    See this all seems so right to me. I never got the 7pm thing.

    I did start reading SOS but the rigidity of it really put me off. I had a lot of medical appointments to have dressings changed when dd was small and I just had to take the appointments that I could get. As it happens my dd was pretty cruisy and happy to be fed wherever we landed and sleep in the capsule/ carrier/ pram. She also had her own natural rhythm and I could usually predict where she would be at what time of day.

    OP, I agree with the others, it is good to gather information but once bub gets here some of your feelings may change (I was never going to do many of the things that I ended up doing and didn't do many things that I thought I would) so just take it as it comes and you know where to go for information if you need it.

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  3. #172
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    It does start an interesting conversation really as with both of mine DD wasn't on a schedule until 7 months and DS at 6.5 months isn't yet and neither have ever just fallen asleep in any place other than a moving car, moving pram (both of which they are wide awake as soon as the movement stops) or in their beds. Never have they been so tired they fall asleep in my shoulder or in my arms, they just get more and more tired to the point of over tiredness and absolute screaming at point where they would continue to scream until they passed out in my arms or pram or car.

    So any time we ever took them out at night they would always end up screaming and we have to go home as they were clearly in need of sleep elsewhere and were becoming disruptive of wherever we were.

    I guess that's the scenario I'm keen to hear how no-schedule people cope.
    This is my kids too. We get grief from mil and ex-friends because we rarely take our kids out late as they just don't cope. they won't sleep when we're out so I don't think it's fair to them. On occasions we have kept them up late they are so upset/tired/emotional for the next day or two I feel guilty about keeping them out when they needed to be in bed. I guess all kids are different and they lucky parents of kids who do cope well don't need a schedule?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I do know that this 7pm thing is a western thing. I've just returned from India and they all think my kids are bloody weirdos cos they go to bed most nights at 7.30pm. That's dinner time in Mumbai!
    Oh I'm so glad to read this, thank you! I've thought it kind of weird that everyone is so fixated on this 7pm bedtime and regularly question whether I'm totally screwing up my 9 month old somehow by not putting him to sleep at that time (he has a catnap around 7 before dinner, then we go to bed together around 9.30pm. Works great for us!). I guess I'll stop worrying
    Also, I just read in this thread that you're expecting, congrats!

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  6. #174
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    When older bed times should definitely be about what fits with the family dynamic. I'm not a morning person and having a bub didn't change that so DS would often have a feed at 10pm, wake maybe once or twice through the night, wake when DH went to work at 5.30am but would happily have a feed and snuggle in bed until about 10am. More often than not when he was little he would end up in bed with us for the night after the first feed. He was a May baby born in Canberra so it was fudging cold!! I should add that was up until about 4 or 5 months old. When we started FF things changed again.
    Last edited by Chunkydunks; 08-04-2015 at 13:25.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I wasn't saying you aren't a good parent. I like routine myself and am pretty strict with bedtime routine from birth (not time but events) and once down to 2 sleeps, I always made sure my babies were at home for the afternoon nap and when they were on one nap, I organise my day around that so my kids have their nap at home. Some of my friends think I am too rigid with that. Oh well.
    It's all good I wasn't implying that you said I wasn't a good parent just trying to explain. 👍

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  9. #176
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    I started SOS with my DD at 4 months old and it saved my sanity!

    I didn't want to use a routine in the beginning and wanted to be baby-led and never ever let her cry and hold her all the time. This didn't work - she screamed all day and all night. I ended up with PND because I was so worried that all that crying was damaging her brain but no matter how much I patted and rocked and shushed she would not sleep longer than 20 minutes at a time. Ever! After months of this and one extremely overtired baby I tried SOS and it worked - within 3 days I sat and ate dinner with my hubby for the first time in months while she slept in her bassinette. SOS for our family resulted in a happier baby with markedly less crying than any other methods I tried including no cry sleep solution.

    Don't get me wrong - she is not a perfect sleeper. I still fed twice a night until she was 10 months old but I was happy to do that. Even now at 2 years old if she needs me at night (which is rarely) I am always there for her.

    We travel and are out and about heaps and having a routine has made this even easier.
    I know exactly what she will need for the time we are out. She will sleep in pram, car seat, portacot anywhere we set it up, ergo.

    SOS doesn't always mean any or more crying will be involved than other methods. It's just a different way to try this was my experience anyway. And the FB support page is amazing if you do decide to try SOS.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I do know that this 7pm thing is a western thing. I've just returned from India and they all think my kids are bloody weirdos cos they go to bed most nights at 7.30pm. That's dinner time in Mumbai!
    No it's an Australian thing.
    In France, Spain and Italy kids have diner at 7-8pm.
    They do start their day much later though.

  12. #178
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    AdornedWithCats is online now Winner 2013 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by deku View Post
    Oh I'm so glad to read this, thank you! I've thought it kind of weird that everyone is so fixated on this 7pm bedtime and regularly question whether I'm totally screwing up my 9 month old somehow by not putting him to sleep at that time (he has a catnap around 7 before dinner, then we go to bed together around 9.30pm. Works great for us!). I guess I'll stop worrying
    Also, I just read in this thread that you're expecting, congrats!
    Quote Originally Posted by Chunkydunks View Post
    When older bed times should definitely be about what fits with the family dynamic. I'm not a morning person and having a bub didn't change that so DS would often have a feed at 10pm, wake maybe once or twice through the night, wake when DH went to work at 5.30am but would happily have a feed and snuggle in bed until about 10am. More often than not when he was little he would end up in bed with us for the night after the first feed. He was a May baby born in Canberra so it was fudging cold!! I should add that was up until about 4 or 5 months old. When we started FF things changed again.
    This is us. Ds (14 months) goes to bed about 9pm. We are so not morning people so it works very well for us. No way would I be able to get up at 7am just to get ds up!

    Ps. We have coslept from the beginning and I define "sleeping through" as 5hrs +.

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    Dd is put in bed at 6 on the dot, 5.45 if she is super tired, my parents do not understand it and I think they think I am cruel, however when I put her to bed at that time 99% of the time she rolls over and goes to sleep.. Any later and she will cry. To me that says she gets over tired past that point. She will wake up once at night usually and then 5.45-6am, I am used to it so it's no problem for me, on occasion it can be 4.30-5am, I'm okay with that too because she genuinely wakes up refreshed. Any earlier then that and we both struggle.

    It took me a while to figure her routine out, before that she was waking up multiple times a night and I was exhausted. Anytime I forced a different sleeping routine it would make it all worse.

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    Could someone please let me know the details of the facebook group please? I've done a search but there are a few. 👍🌸 thank u


 

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