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  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    RandA can I ask what you would have done if your kids did need schedules and couldn't sleep anywhere due to being spirited kids or just far alert to sleep in their prams at noisy events etc?

    Genuine question as I know SOS doesn't work for every baby but I'm sure sleeping on the go or going to bed after 7 regularly also wouldn't work for all babies either.
    My kids aren't "spirited" but they would not cope with regular late nights. They just don't cope. My son is the worst when his sleep is interfered with. We went on holidays at Christmas with friends and after 3 nights of going to sleep at 9pm, my eldest 2 were not coping because no matter what time they go to bed, they still wake up by 7 am. It's not fun. My youngest adapts well. But this is our life and we are happy. My husband doesn't have family here (he's an immigrant) apart from one brother and I only have one sister in Sydney.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 08-04-2015 at 09:47.

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  3. #162
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    I tried SOS with DS but I wish I hadn't. He never really fell into the routine and it was always a struggle. Made me feel like a complete failure because the issue I had basically said that barring anything medical, your baby should easily fall into the routine nicely. I became really stressed and anxious about his sleep. Now that I look back, he was a pretty easy baby that just never slept through.

    I will look into some other books this time but will only take info on that I need and i'll take a more laid back approach.

  4. #163
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    Default Save Our Sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    RandA can I ask what you would have done if your kids did need schedules and couldn't sleep anywhere due to being spirited kids or just far alert to sleep in their prams at noisy events etc?

    Genuine question as I know SOS doesn't work for every baby but I'm sure sleeping on the go or going to bed after 7 regularly also wouldn't work for all babies either.
    I don't know. In my family/ cultural background kids accompany their parents everywhere. Kids sleep on mum or dad or somebody. It's not a big deal if kids don't nap at the specific time or go to bed at a certain time. I honestly don't know any Indian kids that keep to a 'schedule'. Nor any African babies from my circle of friends. IME kids will sleep when they are tired. My two have passed out in the most random places and positions. But I'm a cuddler so my kids once tired get popped into the carrier and put on my back. Then they pass out as they want to.

    I do know that this 7pm thing is a western thing. I've just returned from India and they all think my kids are bloody weirdos cos they go to bed most nights at 7.30pm. That's dinner time in Mumbai!

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  6. #164
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I don't know. In my family/ cultural background kids accompany their parents everywhere. Kids sleep on mum or dad or somebody. It's not a big deal if kids don't nap at the specific time or go to bed at a certain time. I honestly don't know any Indian kids that keep to a 'schedule'. Nor any African babies from my circle of friends. IME kids will sleep when they are tired. My two have passed out in the most random places and positions. But I'm a cuddler so my kids once tired get popped into the carrier and put on my back. Then they pass out as they want to.

    I do know that this 7pm thing is a western thing. I've just returned from India and they all think my kids are bloody weirdos cos they go to bed most nights at 7.30pm. That's dinner time in Mumbai!
    It does start an interesting conversation really as with both of mine DD wasn't on a schedule until 7 months and DS at 6.5 months isn't yet and neither have ever just fallen asleep in any place other than a moving car, moving pram (both of which they are wide awake as soon as the movement stops) or in their beds. Never have they been so tired they fall asleep in my shoulder or in my arms, they just get more and more tired to the point of over tiredness and absolute screaming at point where they would continue to scream until they passed out in my arms or pram or car.

    So any time we ever took them out at night they would always end up screaming and we have to go home as they were clearly in need of sleep elsewhere and were becoming disruptive of wherever we were.

    I guess that's the scenario I'm keen to hear how no-schedule people cope.

  7. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bennos Mummy View Post
    I tried SOS with DS but I wish I hadn't. He never really fell into the routine and it was always a struggle. Made me feel like a complete failure because the issue I had basically said that barring anything medical, your baby should easily fall into the routine nicely. I became really stressed and anxious about his sleep. Now that I look back, he was a pretty easy baby that just never slept through.

    I will look into some other books this time but will only take info on that I need and i'll take a more laid back approach.
    That's something to remember too. There is a lot of mention of babies sleeping through like it's some sort of benchmark that MUST be met for a baby to be considered a "good baby". There are some babies who aren't going to sleep through the night no matter how much you try or which book you follow. It doesn't make them naughty or you a bad mother...it's just who they are.

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  9. #166
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    It does start an interesting conversation really as with both of mine DD wasn't on a schedule until 7 months and DS at 6.5 months isn't yet and neither have ever just fallen asleep in any place other than a moving car, moving pram (both of which they are wide awake as soon as the movement stops) or in their beds. Never have they been so tired they fall asleep in my shoulder or in my arms, they just get more and more tired to the point of over tiredness and absolute screaming at point where they would continue to scream until they passed out in my arms or pram or car.

    So any time we ever took them out at night they would always end up screaming and we have to go home as they were clearly in need of sleep elsewhere and were becoming disruptive of wherever we were.

    I guess that's the scenario I'm keen to hear how no-schedule people cope.

    Maybe cos my girls have only ever fallen asleep in my arms or fed to sleep or patted to sleep. From the time they were born they've had someone be with them to sleep. So I guess in their minds their 'comforting' factor is me/hubby/nanna etc. and as this need is met they sleep. I honestly don't know if it's because they've always been brought up this way. My eldest is 4.5yo and she napped on my lap at church on good Friday mid song. And snored rather loudly much to my dismay.

    I honestly don't know A-Squared what makes kids tick whether it's nature or nuture. I'm a pretty relaxed and confident in my parenting style. Maybe it's my cultural background that enables me to be this way. Tho I worry about dh sometimes as he gets lots of flack from his folks for the way we bring up our kids. His family parents the complete opposite to us and it gets difficult when we visit.

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  11. #167
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chunkydunks View Post
    That's something to remember too. There is a lot of mention of babies sleeping through like it's some sort of benchmark that MUST be met for a baby to be considered a "good baby". There are some babies who aren't going to sleep through the night no matter how much you try or which book you follow. It doesn't make them naughty or you a bad mother...it's just who they are.
    Very true. I just had a friend come pick up some MCNs and she talked about babies sleeping through etc. Her's slept through from 6 weeks by her 'just putting her in her cot, she loved the cot' I told her, 'oh DS didn't sleep through til 3 when we had his tonsils and adenoids taken out'. She was completely shocked and could not understand how I coped with 3 years of 'no sleep'.

    It wasn't 3 years of 'no sleep' just no full nights sleep and TBH once I gave up on the expectation that he 'should be sleeping through' it got easier, though still hard at times.

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  13. #168
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    Thing is, I've always been with mine too feeding, rocking, pat shushing - despite me often sticking up for SOS and other 'non-gentle' methods.

    I'm running out of the mental steam (and arm strength) to continue with these gentle methods but I have a reflux, feeding issue bub and SOS won't work, nor will CC and even pat shush.

    What's a mum to do though when these gentle methods are no longer viable - with respect to my mental and physical welbeing and my ability to give DD the attention she needs?

    OP there are soooooo many variables and no right and wrong, but start with SOS if you feel it's working stick with it, if not call on VicPark or other SOS successful users for advice on making it work for you or even look into other methods as you go along.

  14. #169
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    I don't know if it's a western thing, maybe an Aussie Anglo thing?

    My husband is Irish and in Ireland, kids don't go to bed until late. Even at the Easter show the other day, my MIL was shocked at how packed it was at 9am. She said if there was an event like that in Ireland, it wouldn't even open until 2pm because people just don't get up at that time of the day. I also see a lot of kids at my work who are up until 10pm and it definitely impacts their education. There was a study done that found Australian children do not get the recommended hours of sleep they require.

    My kids fell into a routine themselves. And that meant they went to bed between 6:30-7:30. We don't have family around so maybe it was a bit selfish of me to enjoy my kids going to bed early as that is the only time my husband and I get for just us. When our kids are awake, we are always doing stuff with them. I don't sit and watch daytime tv or the news when my kids are up. So when they go to bed, it's my time. This is why we have a rule that once the kitchen is clean, we don't do chores at night unless absolutely necessary. I have a weekly cleaner so that helps.

    I don't have a problem with rocking, patting to sleep etc. but both my girls enjoyed going to sleep on their own in their own space from newborns. My son wouldn't sleep unless in our bed, so he was with us until 3 months.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You have to admit although accurate the post had a smidge of smugness with a dash of sarcasm thrown in. Well that's how I interpreted it. Doesn't mean I hate Big Res though
    I can see that but I think some are implying intentions here when the poster was not debating or meaning to be offensive and sometimes it's best to maybe think about it for a few minutes before reacting.

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