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  1. #121
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    Hi op. In sorry you're ending up more confused. I think you've just walked unwittingly into a topic that tends to get quite heated no matter what the original question was.
    For us and our dd it worked really well. I can't remember if I read it whilst pregnant or when dd was very young but at about 6 weeks she seemed to be falling into a routine so I used sos to guide times etc. I also felt like I had no idea going in having not had much experience with babies and a lot of what was in the book seemed to make sense. But I should add that my dd never had much trouble getting to sleep. So long as she was fed and swaddled she just drifted off in her bassinet. So I think if you have an unsettled bub, or colic or reflux or anything like that it would probably be a different story. I'm currently pregnant and will aim to guide bub into routines around the 6-8 week mark if it feels right, but who knows what this bub will be like! Good luck. I hope this doesn't put you off posting for advice.

  2. #122
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    Default Save Our Sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I don't think you can compare the two as being left in a poopy nappy isn't life threatening nor is lining a cot to throw away vomit, letting a child run on a road and risking them being hit by a car is absolutely life threatening, negligent, reportable to child services and punishable by law.

    Perhaps it was a poorly chosen comparison, but you have used a statement that implies parents following SOS are irresponsible, which I think is highly unfair and insulting.
    I'm sorry, but I think purposely leaving your baby in a soiled nappy to prove a point because you feel you're being manipulated is pretty wrong.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 07-04-2015 at 15:06.

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  4. #123
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    Default Save Our Sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I'll be nitpicky not to cause the OP any confusion @hollygolighyly so not wanting to start anything but the section you refer to on this forum is actually Pro Controlled Crying, not Pro SOS.

    They are two different things. SOS settling is different from controlled crying. SOS advises a set time to leave bub to cry before going in to them but once you go in after that time (or less if bub is doing an emotional cry or you don't feel comfortable with the time) you stay in the room with your bub and aid them to sleep for a further period if time. You only leave the room once bub is asleep or if they don't sleep at all you get them up to try again later.

    Controlled crying is where you set a small time period like 3 minutes, you go in after 3 minutes of crying, calm baby down and leave the room and wait a longer period of time- say 5 minutes before you go in and do the same thing, then increase it again to say 10, then 12 etc.

    Also there's then CIO - cry it out where you put bub down and not return into the room at night at all until morning (like that paediatrician in New York who advised to do that to 8 week olds.

    So OP don't look for a 'pro-SOS' section, it doesn't exist, but even though SOS isn't controlled crying, that's perhaps a place you can feel 'safe' to discuss using SOS, not debating it. (Though beware it can still get heated depending if people want to play nice)
    Sorry, I genuinely thought I had seen an SOS support section. I was not referring to the pro-cc section, I genuinely thought there was one. I was wrong, sorry.

    ETA: perhaps there should be a pro-SOS support section as it seems to be the most discussed sleep training book on the hub.
    Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 07-04-2015 at 15:09.

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  6. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I was thinking about this overnight and sure, a 3 year old may poo his pants on 'purpose' but would you leave him in it to try and teach him that you cannot be 'manipulated?'

    My issue with Tizzie in regards to this is that she actually believed this and I'm going to assume edited it out of newer additions because it caused problems. Yes, a toddler or preschooler may vomit or poo 'on purpose' but I do not believe a baby would. Regardless of whether it was 'on purpose' or not I find it incredibly poor parenting advice to say you leave them in it to prove a point, you are meant to be the parent regardless of your child's intentions. Do you not hold their hand to cross the street when they constantly fight you and break-free because you want to prove a point? Or do you figure out a reasonable and mature way to deal with their behavior and help them learn?
    I don't know about your kids but mine have accidents when they are scared or overwhelmed. So I clean them up and hug them.

    To me a kid that Vomits or poops their pants to gain attention obviously needs more attention for positive reasons. And it's a tragedy theyve reached that stage.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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  8. #125
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    Default Save Our Sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I'm sorry, but I think purposely leaving your baby in a soiled nappy to prove a point because you feel you're being manipulated is pretty wrong.
    And that's fine, I completely agree with you - however it's the comparison you drew was unfair. You could have just said what you did above in the first place. You stated that you thought it was wrong - which is fine to think that (just like if you thought it wasn't wrong), but comparing it to possibly purposely killing your own child to teach a lesson is in very poor taste
    Last edited by A-Squared; 07-04-2015 at 15:12.

  9. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    And that's fine, I completely agree with you - however it's the comparison you drew was unfair. You could have just said what you did above in the first place. You stated that you thought it was wrong - which is fine to think that (just like if you thought it wasn't wrong), but comparing it to possibly purposely killing your own child is in very poor taste
    Where did I say you purposely kill your child?! I said 'not hold their hand!' Jeezus!

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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    Where did I say you purposely kill your child?! I said 'not hold their hand!' Jeezus!
    Yes that's what you said but what is the plausible outcome from not holding their hand???

    What would be the thought process behind not holding their hand to teach them a lesson.

  11. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Yes that's what you said but what is the plausible outcome from not holding their hand???

    What would be the thought process behind not holding their hand to teach them a lesson.
    Honestly, I'm bowing out. I know the type of person I am and where my heart and intentions are and it's disheartening when certain hubbers often imply something else.

    As you were.

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  13. #129
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    You're a good person I know that I'm not saying you aren't, but the example you chose was in poor taste.

    I was simply trying to point out the lengths people will go to prove their point that SOS and it's followers are evil. It's never - it's not for me, I don't like crying and I'm a bit worried about the bedding guides over heating babies, there's always other digs happening.

    Again I have the book, I've read it, but I've never used it, but I feel bad for people who do/have used it to read all the low blows.

    Sorry OP, perhaps this can be moved elsewhere so you can get some help using SOS, please disregard our arguing.

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    I also read SOS, Babywise, and a few other baby books while pregnant and was convinced I was going to do my parenting a certain way. I've done a lot of parent courses. I had close friends swear by SOS and others who swore by other methods.

    Unfortunately my DD did not read the books. She is 8 mths and I am yet to find the elusive 'drowsy but awake state' to put her down in the cot. I have patted and shushed until the cows come home. Actually I still pat and shush but it's more for my benefit, it puts me to sleep within 15mins.

    I was stressing myself out trying to get her to go to sleep in her cot. It was traumatic for both of us. As soon as I let go of my preconceived ideas and listened to her we are both much more relaxed and I am enjoying motherhood a thousand times better.

    I think it's great to have a plan but if it's not working don't put pressure on yourself or think it's your failure. Despite what some say all baby's are different and respond to different techniques.

    This article sums it up best from my perspective.

    http://www.pregnantchicken.com/pregn...raining-method

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