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  1. #11
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    Thanks all for the different perspectives!

    I am the host in the story and purposely ask the question from the guest POV as I didn't want my views on the matter to influence your answers.

    Honestly I found myself put on the spot yet again. I don't like their house mate, he makes me very uncomfortable. Sit there, don't talk and chain smoke. Great guest!!
    I'm pretty sure it's my pregnancy hormones and sense of smell that makes me dislike him though. He stinks of cold ciggies.

    I was pondering how to say no, and wasn't sure how to. But then my guest wrote to me again saying that their house mate had other plans anyway.

    From now on I just won't invite them to diner until their house mate has left! No more awkward situation.

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  3. #12
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    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    Default Wdyt

    I like your style!
    I think if it happens again you can just say "that won't be possible". It doesn't pressure you to come up with a reason. There doesn't have to be a reason!
    If they push for a reason, they're being incredibly rude.
    But IMO they're rude for asking in the first place. Especially since this isn't a mutual friend that they could reasonably assume you'd like entertaining with them
    Last edited by TheGooch; 05-04-2015 at 18:46.

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  5. #13
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    I was going to agree with the others and after asking once wouldn't ask again. Glad you were able to be free on the house guest without making a fuss, much easier

  6. #14
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    I found it weird why they try to tag him along to all their diners out too but that just me.

    He's not a friend of them in the first place, found the room on gumtree. But I think they pity him cause he is a bit of a loner.
    Well I'm mean and don't want a loner to kill my nice diner tonight! :-p

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    I found it weird why they try to tag him along to all their diners out too but that just me.

    He's not a friend of them in the first place, found the room on gumtree. But I think they pity him cause he is a bit of a loner.
    Well I'm mean and don't want a loner to kill my nice diner tonight! :-p
    They are probably being polite to him. If it were me - as your friend - it would not bother me if you rang and said come to dinner, but I'd prefer 'x' does not come. I would not want to miss seeing a friend over something a little, albeit slightly awkward convo, could fix.

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  9. #16
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    Hmmmm I think you are kind of like old me afraid of confrontation and attracting people who clearly like to abuse loose boundaries. Say flat out no and be direct about it and assert yourself because these people are clearly testing your boundaries and how you react is an indicator to them for how far they can push you. If there's one thing I have learnt this year it's speak your mind.

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  11. #17
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    yeap def not keen on confrontation.
    I understand what you are saying and I know you are right but I won't fight this battle with myself. Too may things on my plate atm, so I'm happy to play it like a coward and avoid potential confrontation 😉


 

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