Lucky, I don't think you're wasting your time either. good luck!!
Hi ladies, haven't been able to post for a few days due to work work work and iPad playing up so just a quickie now on the phone, sorry I'll miss some ppl.
Emski hoping it's all good in SA.
Bib so glad you are feeling better.
Leisylou you will get through this ok.
And of course you are not wasting your time lucky. The average age on this thread is about 42 isn't it? Someone here has to be successful one day, the success rates are not zero so it could be you!
Hi to everyone else.
@Leisylou You're welcome Luv I wondered the same thing when I was Cycling or else I just put it down to an off Cycle. Either way, it doesn't mean there's no eggs left or that they're not any good. I hope you don't get too knocked around with all the drugs this Cycle either Luv. for Friday's scan!!!
@Skyler Counting down the days until you can have your procedure and get this show on the road!!!
@Bongley I do remember when you had your accident last year and busted your arm!!! As much as you probably aren't relishing the thought of having all the plates and screws removed, am sure you'll be happy once it's done Hope it's not too painful!!!
Hello to all the other Lovelies who I know are counting down the days to their next Cycle one way or another........
Am cheering you all on and hoping we see a few "EOFY BFP's" around here soon!!!
Then we can start on the "NFY BFP's" for rest of the Lovelies!!!
@Leisylou omg i could have written your post myself. Regarding meltdowns etc over lost babies. I have had several over the last week and spent all day yesterday at work crying one minute and wanting to curl up in a ball and sleep the next. Good thing i have supportive colleagues!
It is perfectly natural to grieve your losses. I noticed in your post though that you were mentioning a lot of "what ifs". What if my doctor had known about this, what of i had been on a protocol for miscarriage etc. Please don't do that! By running through all of those things you are sending yourself a message that you could have controlled or changed the outcome. You couldn't. There was nothing you could have done to change anything. Say that to yourself over and over. It was nothing you did or could have done.
My FS has done extensive research on chromosomal abnormalities in embryos (apparently the most research of any clinic in Qld). He told me that roughly 70% of embryos ate chromosomally abnormal across ALL age groups he researched. That means that for us in the higher age bracket our number of abnormalities is on the upper end of that.
He told me in no uncertain terms to not blame myself but to realise that most miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities and the older we get the more we will have. BUT on the positive side he said that add long as you are still going there is a higher than likely chance to hit the jackpot in terms of a normal embryo. He also told me that he believes that a chromosomally normal embryo is nearly impossible to budge if it is a good 'un. This is shown by women who get pregnant regardless of adversity e.g. third world countries, domestic abuse, drug use etc.
He also said to me to not think that if i had maybe peeled potatoes differently or stood on my head out would have changed the outcome. It wouldn't.
So my advice to you from a kindred spirit. Grieve your babies, share your fears with DH, talk to the girls on BH and be kind to yourself. But never ever ever think that you could have changed anything. You did the best you could and that is more than others who still go on to have babies. Guilt doesn't belong here! Only criminals and liars etc should feel guilt. Not super mummies to be who are doing everything in their power to have a healthy loved baby. Xx
@Fudge09 I LOVE YOU!
wow such a wonderful post, such positivity, we all need this. Its true, I constantly think if I could just lose some weight/stop drinking coffee/go organic etc that I might give myself a real chance. When does it stop. I also like your FS' advice, and the bit about the keep going and you have a better chance of getting there. Thats what Ive always thought. My brother and SIL finally hit the jackpot after so many cycles, it was years and a massive amount of transfers, and so I try and see this and try to stay positive.
The truth is that its so hard to stay positive, and after 5 years of this TTC bullsh!t I know my positivity has waned, I actually said to my brother and SIL on sunday that I didn't believe this was going to work anymore but I also don't think i can give up yet. This is why your post has really struck a chord.
DH was quite drunk the other night and after a family luncheon thing playing with all the kids said he feels quite sad that we have the other half of our lives to live without any kids. He hasn't really said that before.
Leisy and Lucky thinking of you both and sending big hugs. Sometimes just getting it all out can help release something inside that needs to be let out. All we can do is be true to ourselves and do what we feel we need to do to not have any regrets. I guess the rest works itself out in time. But its the uncertainty thats the killer. I know. I hope friday brings positive results Leisy.
@Bongley I hope your op goes well and you're bouncing about it no time at all
Blonde - we definitely do need some Winter BFPs or any season for that matter!!! Hope you are feeling good.
Skyler hope work isn't too crazy, Im not having any iPad issues but i just use the website not the app. When are you due for your op? (mental blank)
hi to everyone else
Top post Fudge xx
thank you Fudge (& your doctor).
@Fudge09 I absolutely love you too!
Thank you so much for your heartfelt post. I so needed to hear that and you are so right, I have been thinking "what if" and looking at what I've done / not done to cause so many losses. What you've said (and passed on from your doctor) makes so much sense, and it is reassuring to hear.
I just love on this thread that when one of us is down, someone else is there to pick us up, remind us of some solid home truths and give us lots of love, and then we are able to return the favour when we're on an upswing and someone else is having a rough time. Wow I would love to meet you ladies in real life! I think we'd all get on really well.
Thanks again to everyone and lots of big hugs all round
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