@Chiefsgirl that view looks heavenly!! Good on you for doing it in style. You deserve some loveliness.
@leyshoja wow you are organised, i know what you mean about needing a plan, not that Ive got one at the end of this cycle!!
@BlondeinBrisvegas - LOL at the BlindinBrisvegas!! Ahhhh we've all been there, although I don't think Ive ever been blind in Brisbane. lots of other cities around the world tho Gave it a great shot in London thats for sure!! Ive often had the guilts about the amount of drinking Ive done and whether thats my problem why this has all been so hard. But then Im not alone amongst my friends and all of them have popped out babies with no problems, including the "surprise" my 40 year old friend had happen last year. She and DH used be up drinking til 6am whilst I went to bed at midnight trying to be good. Then she gets UTD without even trying!!!
Im 11 dpo today and this is the first cycle I think Ive done (IVF related) where I honestly haven't googled once. Ive barely thought about it at all given what happened, and have never had pregnyl so late in the piece (8dpo) so I have nothing to go by. I haven't had any spotting and have had a few twinges/cramps and the sore boobs but nothing that screams yes or no. So Im going to end up with AF before I get to the blood test or be able to POAS with any reliability. I know I had a faint positive from the pregnyl before 4 days after the last shot so it would probably be at least 15dpo before i could realistically test. No doubt AF will arrive before that.
The thing is, I don't know what to do next. When I got sick and landed in ER I was really thinking how can I keep doing this to myself when this kind of thing can happen. I just don't know how many more goes I have in me to be honest, and I actually never thought I would get to that point. Dont even know if I want to do the donor thing either, I don't think I can answer that until we have given up on IVF altogether. Sometimes I don't know whether Im so determined because I have gone through so much and have to make it worth it or if its really the deep desire to have a child. I think its also partly that Im scared to have no one to be there for me or DH when one of us dies. Who looks after us if we have no kids? I do have a couple of friends who probably won't have kids for different reasons and we've all talked about it and all feel sad about that stuff.
We are going away on holidays so maybe I will have a clearer idea then. Probably have another cycle in me, to have a proper go with the new FS, maybe just need to see what she suggests.
hope everyone is having a good day