@leyshoja sorry to hear about the BFN. That effin sucks!! Hope you're ok xxx
Thanks gals, yes I'm fine about it the BFN as I completely expected it, but did still hold out hope for a miracle. What I am though, is really p1ssed off about this whole debacle. First, I'm really sh1tty that I never found out about SA way back before I went on the donor wait list for a gazillion dollars. My clinic are currently supporting another lady doing the Capetown thing, yet because they obviously wanted my $30,000 (donor,plus 4 fet's) nobody mentioned that I may find a donor more easily another way. I found out through this site, but too late. Secondly, I am p1ssed off that I got so incredibly lucky to find a donor in a week and now I just feel unlucky (and ungrateful) that I found that donor. I hate myself for feeling like that, she tried to help us. Thirdly, I'm sh1tted off that I've lost another 10 months doing this. Fourth, I'm really sh1tty that I can't get lucky - JUST ONCE FFS ! Yes, I guess I did still hold out a bit too much hope on this one, but I guess I'd rather be angry about it than upset again. Just need to redirect my focus back to SA again - I've temporarily lost my way..
I feel like such an ungrateful cow right now.
Don't feel ungrateful @leyshoja it's not frucking fair is what it is. And with donor eggs you expect it's going to work, all those goes at it you expect one to work. So I don't blame you at all for feeling angry.
i know what you mean about for once being lucky, I feel that way too, you watch people around you sail through all this and yet here we all are struggling through huge amounts of loss and infertility, not to mention the emotional and finance costs and strain on marriages/relationships. Some days you just need to let it all out, some of the things I've said over the years we've been trying to DH about friends I'm not proud of but I can't help feeling those feelings. I once had a good friend say to me that it's normal to feel jealousy and it made me so bloody mad. It's not bad enough to get lumped with multiple losses and trouble falling pregnant without being labelled with that word too. It still makes me mad!!
sending you big hugs xxx
@leyshoja Oh Luv... I'm sorry too It's not fair FFS's!!! You are not an ungrateful cow!! I'd be fully frucked off as well if I was in your shoes!!!
I agree with @tuxcat that you expect it will work with DE's not to mention all the rest of it with that sh*t of a Clinic!! Who the fruck is the governing body here in QLD for IVF Clinics?? I'd be putting in a complaint about those A/Holes especially in light of what they're doing for this other woman!! I don't believe you were fully informed of all your choices at the time by the sounds of it?? Fruckers!!
Luv, you have every right to feel as you do and every right to express it too!!! You haven't lost your way, your eye is still firmly on the prize in SA. This is just a temporary pause for you to purge yourself before getting back into it and organising the rest of what you have to do to get this SA DE show on the road!!
I believe you are going to get your baby Luv, I really do I wish those months and the $ could be given back to you, but it can't and the main thing is you're not spending another second of another minute of another day giving those w@nkers another cent so they can fruck you over ever again!!!
Just as importantly is that you've started to ball rolling on going to SA where you and DP will have far more control about everything this time. Who your donor is, how many embryo's to transfer, etc, etc not to mention the Clinic has a proven extremely high success rate
"Babyluck" is going to be on your side this time Luv. It is going to be your turn, you are going to get that BFP take home baby (or 2 even!!!) In the meantime, we're all here for you cheering you on with lots of
Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 11-05-2015 at 10:13.
Agree @tuxcat, some people have no idea and should just stop shooting their mouths off trying to make us feel 'better'. I just had a massive vent to my SIL who rang to find out how my poas'ing went. Her and my brother are the ones who footed the bill for the donor so I feel even worse that they are about $19,000 out of pocket over it too. They are not bothered, but I am.
Last edited by JulieMalooley; 11-05-2015 at 10:15.
@tuxcat How are you faring today Luv?? I'm sure your friend was trying to be helpful, but I agree with @leyshoja , best just to STFU especially when you haven't got the faintest about what you're talking about!!
@Leisylou Where are you in your Cycle this month??
Hello to the other Lovelies too......
Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 11-05-2015 at 10:18.
Leyshoja so sorry love - seriously you've held it together so well through everything. Be mad I say, you've every right to feel all of these emotions. You'll regroup and be focussed for SA, but don't let your experience with this clinic/donor cloud your next cycle...you'll be playing with a totally new set of statistics now and you'll be in control of the big choices. And you've already got a donor you love reserved! That's really the hardest part of going to SA...outside of the waiting.
In regards to your clinic talking about SA, they can't legally be seen to be recommending this as an option from what I understand, its different if you waltz in and say I'm doing this, I need this medication, a scan etc. and off you go of your own accord. But some are really quite nervous as to be seen as 'assisting' or facillitating an OS cycle.
PS were you doing a basic immune protocol with your donor or other OE cycles? If not I'd recommend just doing the basic one to cover all bases for your next cycle x
@BlondeinBrisvegas I'm ok, hoping to get released from my padded cell tomorrow!! Had some weird dreams last night that I was out in public wearing this white gown..hehe. Must be my brain getting ready to get back out in the real world! Best thing is I'm on nearly 3 weeks of annual leave as of Wednesday next week- heading up to brisvegas actually! Hoping my boss hasn't forgotten
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