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  1. #261
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    Hi gals, @tuxcat & @emski there used to be an IVF warriors thread here too that died off, I think it has been replaced with this 40+ thread

    has anyone heard from @Fudge09? she was due to have a transfer I think?
    @Leisylou take a breather, from the sound of it the last cycle knocked you onto your butt, I would have thought wazza would try a more gentle approach but go with his suggestions and if it doesn't work out next time maybe think of changing clinics? Always good to get a second opinion.

    As for overweight egg donors I'm really not too concerned, I think its more of an environmental issue. I know it can be genetics but I think the obesity problem is a social one, otherwise the rates would stay the same over the years. I was a bit of a boofer in my student years with bad food and booze and also when I had my kid (for much more understandable reasons!) I put on weight but I've shed back to a good weight now.The only thing I am really concerned about with a donor is any serious mental or physical diseases...and that we have the same values and get on with each other.

    AFM Speaking of gambling with donors. I have had another potential donor pop up. A lovely lady from Tasmania. So, we are chatting. She has donated before and the tassie clinic is very (VERY) affordable and she sounds like she will be ready in the next couple of months. So we are chatting. I will call IVF Australia about my other friend tomorrow (the one who won't be able to do it for 3 to 10 months) but the Tassie lady might be the way forward. More hard decisions.. but its so nice to have choices after turning down the NZ lady. I would really recommend anyone to check out 'Egg Donation Australia' website and facebook page, its a whole new community. If I can get some donors interested in me (as I have a kid) then you guys would sh!t it in.... you just have to sound positive, be very chatty and active on the site and I know you can all do that
    I don't necessarily mean for you gals that have already planned your way but for anyone reading this thread.

    @BlondeinBrisvegas yes, men aren't in the thick of it like us ladies and so we get lumbered with the stress of it all and there is nothing they can do to 'fix it'. Its a strong couple that goes through this sh!te alright.
    Last edited by Bongley; 21-04-2015 at 21:32.

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  3. #262
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    @emski72 absolutely! Back up the Blondeinbrisvegas truck!
    @Bongley your tassie lady sounds great! And you could go and have a lovely holiday down there too, Tassie is such a great easy place to go for a really relaxed holiday, lots of great food and MONA the art gallery is fab. We had the best holiday down there a few years ago now. You have all these women throwing their eggs at you!!! Well done!

    My new FS mentioned that site and said it was very good. I may check it out if things don't pan out this year. Did you find the counsellor at RPA good with the donor stuff? We never saw her but she was mentioned a lot and got very good comments from all the staff.

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  5. #263
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    Thanks for your feedback guys, just awesome

    Even though I'm seeing my counselor today, I think I feel quite good about my plan. I will give myself the next six weeks to get physically and mentally prepared for a June cycle, and if that doesn't work, then I will go straight onto the Oestrogen priming cycle in July while I'm away, so I can do that first three weeks of being on the pill and starting Lucrin etc while I'm away. I think it will work in perfectly, timing wise, and if I'm a few days out, then I figure I can stay on the pill a few more days up front to make sure it all co-ordinates properly. Thanks for the feedback about the Oestrogen cycle being a good one to go for - I feel good about it, so at least we'll have two good goes by August and should know by then if there is any hope of using my own eggs or not, and then can make the decision to go DE very quickly if need be and hopefully be pregnant one way or the other by the end of the year.

    @BlondeinBrisvegas Wazza did mention Viagra and I think he is starting to put it in his cycles, but I think because my lining isn't too bad, he wasn't going to use it with me, just the Nitrodur patch and the Trental he thinks will be enough - but I guess he can add the Viagra in later if my lining isn't coming up to scratch.

    Thanks for the heads up on Restavit, @Chiefsgirl - I got some yesterday to try - they said start with half a tablet and it should knock me out for six hours. Well I had half a tablet, lay awake for an couple of hours, had another half, lay awake for another couple of hours, and gave up and had half a Xanax about 2am and that did the trick for a few hours. Grrrrrrr! So frustrating! I will up the dose though and see how I go as I just need to get into a good sleeping cycle again, and if I can get six hours straight, that is going to help heaps. The Xanax only works for 2-3 hours and I don't want to take a bigger dose of that. I know I can't take the Restavit every day though, so I'll alternate it for a little while and see what happens!

    @tuxcat - go follies go!!!!

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  7. #264
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuxcat View Post
    @emski72 absolutely! Back up the Blondeinbrisvegas truck!
    @Bongley your tassie lady sounds great! And you could go and have a lovely holiday down there too, Tassie is such a great easy place to go for a really relaxed holiday, lots of great food and MONA the art gallery is fab. We had the best holiday down there a few years ago now. You have all these women throwing their eggs at you!!! Well done!

    My new FS mentioned that site and said it was very good. I may check it out if things don't pan out this year. Did you find the counsellor at RPA good with the donor stuff? We never saw her but she was mentioned a lot and got very good comments from all the staff.
    @tuxcat Ha, throwing eggs at me, I wish Yeah Liz is very nice, very gently spoken, at first I thought she was digging into irrelevant issues but I can now see that she was trying to untangle a few knots that were all connected to some of my insecurities. Although I haven't seen her very many times she has helped me overcome some doubts about using a donor. It's why I decided to accept my friends help. She was talking about conferences she had attended about the issues behind donor conception so I think she knows her stuff in that regard. Any medical questions I had she would write down and speak to a doctor and get back to me.

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  9. #265
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    Hi ladies,

    Interesting couple of days in these parts. Been stuck at home, thankfully with power and water when other people's houses have floated down the river, literally. It's an 'east coast low' the equivalent of a cat2 cyclone. We got no warning which I find bizarre compared to when one of these is heading towards QLD and their government pulls out all stops to warn people. Feel very sad about the 3 people who died, thankful all my family are safe. I attempted to drive to work yesterday and got turned around at a road block. And DH is working from home.

    I'm glad you two are feeling steady about your plans Bongley and Leisylou. Seems as though you're making decisions that sit well for you.

    Tuxcat, excited for you, looking forward to an update on Friday.

    Fudge if you're out there, how are you after transfer?

    I know ladies, where would we be without Blonde?

    Ladies did anyone watch foreign correspondent on abc last night? It was quite confronting for DH and I seeing as one of our long term options was overseas adoption. A Vietnamese adoptee who's now in her 40's was saying 'adoption is all about the parents....when ivf doesn't work.....' And pointing out all the damage it has done to her. Now we're feeling like going without kids at all is a less selfish option after seeing her perspective. Anyone see that show and have any thoughts?

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  11. #266
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    Hi Skyler,

    Yes, I saw the end of the show, but unfortunately didn't see all of her story, but got the gist of it.

    I think she is more likely to be the minority rather than the majority, and her statement has come from some level of bitterness that her adoption was far from ideal. Sure, I understand what she is saying, but inherent in adoption being "all about the parents" is the parents longing for a child, and that goes without saying. The child is so wanted and desired that the parents jump through incredible hoops to get there. The experience the child has (adopted or not) is due to the way the parents raise the child, and how sensitive they are to that child's needs - it's not only about how they came to be a part of that family. My mother didn't bond with me at all, and I grew up with huge issues because of that - I would rather have been with an adoptive family who loved me, than being with a mother who couldn't give two ****s about me.

    One of my ex-boyfriends was adopted and couldn't have loved his parents more. He grew up knowing he was adopted and that his Mum and Dad wanted him so much - he had no desire to ever find his birth parents because as far as we was concerned he had parents and that was it.

    I think adopting a child from another culture means that it is up to the parents to keep that connection with their heritage going, visiting at times as they are growing up and keeping the cultural identity alive for them. I would feel that was my responsibility, and I would do what I could to help the child know where they came from, as well as knowing that they were loved and wanted in their new country.

    I don't think going without kids is a less selfish option - there are so many kids who need loving families. Kids can be damaged in bio relationships just as easily as adoptive relationships. I think if you are open to adoption, then absolutely go for it - you have more than enough love and awareness to raise a child that is happy and well-adjusted. I wouldn't give that lady's perspective too much weight - certainly take that into consideration, but don't let it stop you adopting.

    Last edited by Summer; 22-04-2015 at 12:52.

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  13. #267
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    @Skyler I agree with @Leisylou, I think how a child reacts to being told they are adopted/donor is all in the way they are raised.

    My best girlfriend is adopted and has known that all her life. She has no problems with it and has brothers that are bio to the parents. She doesn't feel they treat her any differently and knows she is loved.

    My mother on the other hand found out she was adopted in her 50's and has struggled with it. Especially since both her parents had passed away so couldn't ask why they didn't tell her. Her bio mum has also passed. But she did get to meet an Aunty and have a relationship with her before she passed and found two brothers. Mum feels that she ended up with the better deal with the adopted family and is grateful to her mother for giving her up as she has a very loving family and was able to be better provided for than if she had stayed with her birth mother.

    I was struggling with the whole donor thing myself after I read a website where people were not happy about being from donor or adopted, but when I really read what they were saying it all stemmed from the shock of finding out later in life as well as their relationship with the families.

    I think those stories like the one you saw are not the norm and you and your dh wd of course love and cherish your child and you wouldn't have that problem of the child resenting you.

    And in terms of it all being about the parents, isn't that the case with every child that is born? Regardless of how that comes about? It's the parents who want the child so go off and do the deed to get what they want - a child! It's no different to IVF or donor or adoption.

    I personally see adoption as the best gift a birth mother can do. If she feels she can't be the best mother for the child, so gives the child the best chance at a happy life by putting them up for adoption, well to me, that's the best thing she could have ever done for them.

    Hugs to you and you dh xxxxx

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  15. #268
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    Stop it Girls Please!!! Appreciate the compliments, so thank-you all very much Been trying to work out which site is EB?? If you can't post it here, can someone PM me pls as it's been doing my head in!! This is the only site I'm on and I'm happy here with all of you and my other BH Buddies


    @Bongley Well, well, well Luv.... This Tassie PD is an interesting development indeed!! If she offers, would you be inclined to do a Cycle with her while waiting for the Depo shot to clear your friends system?? Is that allowed??

    @Leisylou Glad to hear you're sounding more decided about the next Cycle Luv It takes some of the stress/pressure off and makes it a little easier to concentrate on all the other things you've got going on in your life.

    Bugger about the Restavit Haven't bought any to try yet. upping the dose works!!

    @tuxcat How you travelling Luv??

    @Skyler I know!! Have seen it all over the news up here Am glad to hear everyone's safe including you and your DH Didn't realise you were in an area that's been affected. Those poor people...absolutely tragic!! Heard one was an old lady who wouldn't evacuate as she didn't want to leave her dogs behind

    I didn't see the show last night, but wholeheartedly agree with everything @Leisylou has said One of my ex's was also adopted (Scottish background is all he knew) and he had no plans on trying to find his bio parents as he wasn't interested at the time and considered his adopted mum/dad his parents (he was adopted as a baby).

    Unfortunately, media seem to report more on the negative outcomes from things such as adoption, donor egg/sperm, IVF etc, etc as I guess a happy ending just doesn't get the ratings?? I truly believe there are far more happy endings out there, they just don't get reported nearly often enough or come forward to share their experience on social media etc
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 22-04-2015 at 13:57.

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  19. #270
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leisylou View Post
    Hi Skyler,

    Yes, I saw the end of the show, but unfortunately didn't see all of her story, but got the gist of it.

    I think she is more likely to be the minority rather than the majority, and her statement has come from some level of bitterness that her adoption was far from ideal. Sure, I understand what she is saying, but inherent in adoption being "all about the parents" is the parents longing for a child, and that goes without saying. The child is so wanted and desired that the parents jump through incredible hoops to get there. The experience the child has (adopted or not) is due to the way the parents raise the child, and how sensitive they are to that child's needs - it's not only about how they came to be a part of that family. My mother didn't bond with me at all, and I grew up with huge issues because of that - I would rather have been with an adoptive family who loved me, than being with a mother who couldn't give two ****s about me.

    One of my ex-boyfriends was adopted and couldn't have loved his parents more. He grew up knowing he was adopted and that his Mum and Dad wanted him so much - he had no desire to ever find his birth parents because as far as we was concerned he had parents and that was it.

    I think adopting a child from another culture means that it is up to the parents to keep that connection with their heritage going, visiting at times as they are growing up and keeping the cultural identity alive for them. I would feel that was my responsibility, and I would do what I could to help the child know where they came from, as well as knowing that they were loved and wanted in their new country.

    I don't think going without kids is a less selfish option - there are so many kids who need loving families. Kids can be damaged in bio relationships just as easily as adoptive relationships. I think if you are open to adoption, then absolutely go for it - you have more than enough love and awareness to raise a child that is happy and well-adjusted. I wouldn't give that lady's perspective too much weight - certainly take that into consideration, but don't let it stop you adopting.

    I didn't see the program but I totally agree. Saw my counselor again today and she also reiterated its all about being honest with the child.

    There was also a segment on the project last night that was about embryo adoption, it was all pretty positive the 30 seconds they took to discuss it.

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