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  1. #241
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    Look after yourself leyshoja, that sounds scary what you're experiencing. Are you going to have a break in between things with SA if this one doesn't work? It sounds like you might need one. I recently bought a hypnotherapy mp4 from a guy Russell Davis at the fertile mind site and i listen to it in bed before going to sleep at night. Maybe you could try something like this to calm yourself down? Theres a few versions, but I find it really relaxing and its also just taking some time out to focus on your health. take care, your health is number one remember.

    Bongley wow so much going on, it all sounds complex. Can you just sit on your decision making for a week or 2 and keep the other lady posted in NZ? Sometimes feeling the pressure in making the actual decision is what tips us over the edge, Ive felt that way with changing clinics, feeling stressed about if we have to go back to RPA thru lack of money. Take your time and try to breathe through it all !! And as leyshoja wise woman said.. whatever decision you make will be the right one. Hope you are feeling better today tho.

    Blonde - Ive had some headaches, but Im trying to eat really really well, and focus on nourishing my body with lots of protein, veggies and fruit (not to mention dark chocolate) and so I think thats helping. Otherwise no other side effects.

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  3. #242
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    No, there will be no break. I feel like we are running out of time as I've got this mental limit on our ages and we are both just about there. Plus, the quicker we get there, the quicker we can get back to a normal life.

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  5. #243
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    @leyshoja oh yeah, I recognise those symptoms. I have also been sleeping badly and getting headaches. I got a raging headache on sunday and so I now realise they have been from all the stress. Still, you may want to speak to a gp or counselor about the tightness in your chest that sounds a bit alarming! I also get the forgetting to breathe feeling.........

    The things we put ourselves through
    @BlondeinBrisvegas yeah, you're right, I'll be ok once I concentrate on the new plan, I will call up IVF australia (their clinics are closest to my friend) and get the ball rolling this week. Its just that initial fear of making the wrong decision, the what ifs and the god awful waiting.
    @tuxcat no I had to tell the NZ donor pretty much straight away as we were going to skype and I wouldn't have been able to pretend that everything was going ahead. I emailed her again today to thank her. I do get very stressed about letting people down.

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  7. #244
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    Wow, lots been happening here - sorry I haven't been keeping up with everyone. DH and I went away for a romantic long weekend and had a lovely time, went for a three hour hike in the rainforest, relaxed in the spa, etc. It was great to spend that one-on-one time with him as since we got together a few years ago, we've rarely done that as he has his son every weekend, so quality time is very thin on the ground!

    @Killarneygirl good luck with the TWW, hope this is a healthy one for you!

    @Skyler Great that you're picking yourself up and getting on with things, but what a difficult situation - I wish there was another option for you to pursue, but even so, you likely need that break to get your head together and get your life back on track anyway. I feel like I've put so much on hold over the last two years (even though we've been trying naturally for most of that time), there have still been lots of appointments, scans, miscarriages, D&Cs, etc etc that takes a whole lot of effort, focus, time and money. I really feel for you and hope that the path you are on now becomes something really positive in your life.

    @Luckyme1 don't feel like a fraud because you want a third child and always saw that for yourself. The heart wants what the heart wants whether it seems logical or not. And I would trust that inner knowing that there are meant to be more children in your life, this is what is hurting so much. It just might mean that the children come to you in a different way than you believed, but they will come (fostering or example). So don't dismiss the call of your heart, know that it is genuine, but get the help you need to put that longing into context and let it be the catalyst to explore other options. Counseling is a great idea, I wouldn't be sane without mine as I don't have anyone else to talk to, so she really, really helps me :-)

    @leyshoja you have a plan and that is awesome, so don't be too worried about not being positive about this last embie, just keep moving forward, you've got SA to look forward to and whether this last one is the sticky one or not, is not going to change whatever your thoughts about it. So keep on going and then if this one doesn't work at least you'll be able to draw a line under it all and go full on into Plan D.

    I hear you with the anxiety thing - although you sure have a lot more to be anxious about than me - but I barely sleep from anxiety and I'm on meds to sleep which can cause fetal abnormalities, so I have to figure out a pregnancy safe sleeping tablet - except I don't think there are any :-( I have done everything, and I mean everything to sleep, including every natural thing, hypnosis, meditation, melatonin, etc and nothing but a small dose of anti-anxiety meds works. Must go back to doctor and see if I can figure something out. Hope yours is just transient and you can get on top of it easily.

    @tuxcat good luck with this cycle, sounds like you're on a lot more meds to help, so that's a positive! I had massive bruising with the Clexane, that two months later is still there (very faded, but you can see where the massive bruising was). Prednisone makes me really hungry and I gained a bit of weight with it, but I've been on and off it for years (very low dose) for adrenal failure, so it's not a new one for me.

    @Fudge09 awesome results for the Frosties and I hope it all went well yesterday, fingers crossed for you that this is it!

    @Bongley no wonder you had a melt-down hon, it's been such a rotten couple of months for you with having to move on from your OE to looking at donors, having a friend offer and all the emotional issues around that, then looking at the NZ lady... If you've made your decision to go with your friend, then just know that that is the right one for now and just move forward with it, one step at a time. With her having the contraceptive shot, that just might mean more time to get your head around, get into a good space, be prepared and allow things to flow instead of rushing. So it could be a positive. Make sure you get lots of support through this time.

    @Chiefsgirl what's happening with you hon?

    Well this turned into a novel, I'll post this and write about my stuff next!
    Last edited by Summer; 21-04-2015 at 07:47.

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  9. #245
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    Thanks @Leisylou plan D is well underway !
    I actually started recognising the signs of anxiety when ex-hubby left me two and a half years ago and its been a continuous rollercoaster since then. I'm just lucky I'm now with the most easy going man in the world. I have had massive problems sleeping for the last 25 years. In all that time I have not ever been able to sleep without earplugs - I've even gone away for the weekend and realised too late that I've forgotten them and have had a meltdown when all the shops were closed except a 7/11 and had to resort to blutack - yep. Blutack - which doesn't work great around hair, let me tell you. I now have earplugs planted in each car, handbag and suitcase - just in case. Even with the earplugs I still battle to sleep but when I get desperate I take temazepam which My Dr told me is reasonably safe - as long as its not daily ? I could be wrong...

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  11. #246
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    Thanks for asking after me @BlondeinBrisvegas


    AFM I had an appointment with Wazza to review what is next even though my chances are very low with my own eggs, I still want to try because I don't want to ever look back and say that I wish I'd done a cycle of IVF as that might have done it for us.

    I have two options - one is to go in with this cycle:
    FSH 600iu (300 morning and night)
    Prednisone
    Melatonin
    Clexane
    Orgalutran (Day 6-8)
    Nitrodor patch
    Trental
    Baby aspirin
    Pregnyl trigger
    EPU
    Feldene
    Plus all my supplements

    He said to only expect 2-3 eggs which will be grown out to 5 days and then one put back in if there are any left. He advised against PGD for only a few eggs as he'd rather we spend the money on another cycle than doing the screening.

    The other option was an Oestrogen priming cycle that he thought had a bit better chance for me - so prior to the above cycle, three weeks of the pill, then on Day 11 of that three weeks, starting Lucrin. Then when moving onto the next part as above also add in Progynova to the mix. So that takes six weeks instead of three.

    Has anyone done the oestrogen priming cycle and did it work better than the more standard IVF cycle?

    So I guess I'm going to go ahead with one or the other, but the question is when. I have to psyche myself up for it because I had such a horror time of it last time, and Wazza basically just left the program as is and said I can drop the Nitrodur patch if the headaches are too bad, but otherwise, suck it up and get on with it. So I do have to plan for being really sick and bedridden for some of the cycle.

    So I was thinking of starting the shorter cycle in May or June and seeing what happens. Then I'm away for nearly three weeks overseas in July, so I thought if the standard IVF doesn't work, I can start with the three weeks of the oestrogen priming program while I'm overseas in July and give that a go.

    I am torn. My DH said lets go straight away, but I'm thinking I want to give myself the next six weeks to get ready for a June cycle. I've just made big changes in my business, I've just started back at the gym and I feel like if I have a plan that is six weeks away, then I've got the time and space to get really sorted with my business and health stuff and be prepared to get going with it all. If we go in May, that would be two weeks away and I don't feel ready. But then is that just sabotage? Every month counts at this age, so am I just being an idiot thinking that I want to work on my health and fitness over the next six weeks, sort all my business affairs out so that I feel on top of it all and then get mentally prepared for it? Does one more month delay mean I've lost any chance?

    Anyway, I have a counseling session booked tomorrow so I can discuss all that with her and get an objective view point. I don't want to waste time, but I also don't want to feel rushed. I can't talk to DH as he had his two kids really easy and he just gets frustrated because he wants to "fix it" and he can't fix this, so he withdraws and let's me deal with it all on my own. He says he supports whatever I want to do, so it is my decision to go ahead in May or June.... What would you guys do?

    I had a scan as well and I have already ovulated this month and my lining was 7.5mm which is good, seeing as I hardly have a period and did no drugs or priming at all - so I do have something to work with there.

    Sorry it's a novel again - I am a writer so I can't shut up once I get typing!

    Love to you all
    xxxx
    Last edited by Summer; 21-04-2015 at 08:14.

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  13. #247
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    Quote Originally Posted by leyshoja View Post
    Thanks @Leisylou plan D is well underway !
    I actually started recognising the signs of anxiety when ex-hubby left me two and a half years ago and its been a continuous rollercoaster since then. I'm just lucky I'm now with the most easy going man in the world. I have had massive problems sleeping for the last 25 years. In all that time I have not ever been able to sleep without earplugs - I've even gone away for the weekend and realised too late that I've forgotten them and have had a meltdown when all the shops were closed except a 7/11 and had to resort to blutack - yep. Blutack - which doesn't work great around hair, let me tell you. I now have earplugs planted in each car, handbag and suitcase - just in case. Even with the earplugs I still battle to sleep but when I get desperate I take temazepam which My Dr told me is reasonably safe - as long as its not daily ? I could be wrong...
    Wow, my sleeping problems started with an emotionally abusive ex and I've had major problems ever since. I take a very small dose of Xanax which is in the same family as temazepam - Wazza said the risks are small at a low dose, but I might have to look into yours to see if it is less risk... I feel you about having to use the ear-plugs everywhere and panicking without them. Even though I only take a tiny dose, I panic if I don't have it with me if I go away because I know that I won't sleep for one second - and I've made myself very sick from severe insomnia in the past and don't want to go there again. I too, have a very laid back DH and I think my sleep is improving, but it doesn't take much stress to knock it again. At least getting up to a crying baby several times a night will be a walk in the park for us we're so used to insomnia! :-)

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  15. #248
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    @Leisylou Oooh, your weekend away sounded d-eee-vine Luv!! Sounds like you made the absolute most of it and rightly so too!!

    The 2 Cycles I did with him were the Estrogen Priming Cycles. The 3 previous Cycles I did with my previous FS were all Long Down Regulated (Agonist) Cycles. I think if you're willing to do 2 Cycles (if needs be) then go with the plan you've originally outlined.

    You know from last time that you'll more than likely be knocked around a little bit by some of the drugs so need to factor in the space and time to be able to rest or take a day or so off if needs be. One more month I really don't think will make too much of an impact to be honest Luv plus it'll be one more month you keep on taking all of your supplements which can't hurt if you're going to delay starting.

    I think Wazza's right about the PGD vs reinvesting the money into another Cycle And you can definitely drop the Nitrodur patch if the headaches get too bad. I know of another BH who did that. The headaches can be brutal, but mine went away after a few days. Hopefully splitting the FSH dose morn/night will help to minimise the side effects too. All you can really do is to make sure you drink at least 2L of water a day and eat as best as you can while you're doing the Cycle and get as much rest as you can

    All the rest of it should be right side effects wise, you already know how the Prednisone affects you. I'm not sure about the Trental as I never took that as part of my protocol. It's given to help thicken up the lining. Some FS prescribe Viagra as well to do the same thing. I wonder if this is a new drug Wazza's added to the protocol?? Anyhoo, here's some info on that for you and any of the other Lovelies who are interested:

    Phosphodiesterase Inhibitors – responsible for enzymatic degradation of molecules within the cells involved in generating energy for the cell to function. They have anti-inflammatory effects. Two phosphodiesterase inhibitors—Sildenfil (Viagra) and Pentoxiphylline (Trental) have been shown to increase blood flow to the uterus. Viagra in the form of vaginal suppositories given in the dosage of 25 mg four times a day has been shown to increase uterine blood flow as well as thickness of the uterine lining. Significant improvement of the thickness of the uterine lining in about 70 percent of women treated. Successful pregnancy resulted in 42 percent of women who had previously experienced repeated IVF failures and who responded to the Viagra. Similar results were obtained when Trental was used in 400mg twice a day doses alone with vitamin E to treat women experiencing implantation failure associated with thin endometrium and elevated uterine NK cells. Animal studies have demonstrated that pentoxifylline prevents miscarriages in abortion-prone mice. Efficacy of pentoxifylline for treatment of recurrent pregnancy loss in human beings remains to be established.

    After reading that, I reckon it's worth having a go with it I'm sure talking to the counsellor tomorrow will help to clarify things for you Luv. Most men do want to "fix" everything I've found. It seems to be their "default" position when faced with a problem Where as with us Girls, I've found most of the time, we just want to "talk" about things. We might not even necessarily be looking for a solution, just a sounding board sometimes

    My DP used to leave everything IVF related for me to decide. Who our FS was going to be, being the "bank manager" with our finances so as to organise the saving for a Cycle, when we were going to start, which day to transfer etc. He used to say "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it" I don't think it was because he was disinterested/withdrawn, it was just "easier" for him to leave it to me as I was the one doing all the research and being here on BH learning from others and sharing experiences etc...basically obsessing about it all as you do, that he knew I knew what was what and that he could trust the decisions I made would give us the best chance at getting a BFP.

    Most of the time I was fine with it, occasionally I used to get pi$$ed off and feel unsupported with the weight of it all on my shoulders, etc. Mainly that was when decisions such as what day to transfer, etc would need to be made and I was swinging back and forth on "when" and finding it hard to make up my mind. Anyhoo...my point is, I think, for whatever reason, a lot of men defer to their partners wishes when doing IVF.

    That is a good lining thickness all things considered Luv Sounds like the "health kick" is definitely reaping some rewards I hear you and @leyshoja on the anxiety thing. I haven't slept properly either for I don't know how many years. I'm confident your doctor will be able to prescribe something that will be safe to use in pregnancy.

    I can tell you all this sleep deprivation won't be in vain for you and @leyshoja as it's great training for when you both bring bub home from the hospital!!! The tiredness you feel in the early days is in a league of it's own IMO and a different kind of "tired" from any other I've ever known/experienced, but I found the years of sleep deprivation helped me get through that stage relatively unscathed!!

    @leyshoja I can go a couple of days without sleeping when I'm on a roll with my anxiety/depression. My doctor prescribes good, old Valium when I'm in desperate need of sleep (same drug family as temazepam), and yes, to my knowledge, it is pretty safe if taken in small doses for a short period of time although, it would depend on what it's being prescribed for

    Oh Luv, the ear plug drama!!! Blue tack??? You must of been desperate allright!! Can understand why you have earplugs stashed here, there and everywhere!! No way you'd want a repeat performance of that ever again!!!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 21-04-2015 at 09:26.

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  17. #249
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    Hi ladies, sorry I've been absent, trying to fill in forms, choose donors and get all those medical things done you can't do in a cycle.

    Had to have a Pap test yesterday - god I still hate them even after all those ivf transfers! Had the flu injection and doing hep b shots. I had everything tested last year and have had the hep b shots before but my BT shows no immunity to it. So doing three shots over the next three weeks. God my arm hurts!

    I hear you all on the anxiety. I have started to feel it quite bad lately. I have always been an insomniac, but since being with dh meditation tracks. When he works night shift though it's all over and I take restavit. You can get it over the counter and my FS said it was ok to take during IVF.
    @Leisylou I did a version of the estrogen priming and they were my best cycles ever in terms of number of eggs and getting blastocysts. But it sounds like your plan is the best. You do have to do what makes you feel comfortable.

    Afm- my dilemma is choosing a donor, I have one who looks pretty close to me, but is a little big, and so are her parents.

    The other is tiny but doesn't look like me although she does have blonde hair, I don't know what to do. I'd hate my child to have weight issues later in life like I am now😞

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  19. #250
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    @Chiefsgirl we just can't win. After all the IVF decisions/gambling we then have to gamble on a donor too. Well, look how my donor gamble paid off. My big lesson from that is to go young next time. I know its not necessarily going to guarantee anything, but that's how I feel. My no. 2 requirement is that I find someone who looks like having a long healthy life - so no history of heart disease and cancers in the grandparents, and not overweight. My theory is that if they are overweight that young (low twenties) they will have lifelong trouble with their weight. BUT I am not really concerned if they look like me because I know quite a few people (my brother in particular) whose kids look like they were found on a doorstep, they look so dissimilar to their parents. Whichever way you go you will have positives so toss another coin I still firmly believe I will be following your footsteps in only a couple of weeks. @Leisylou I have no advice for you whatsoever ! That list looks mind blowing. This is probably why I have been so unsuccessful for so long - they should have had me doing all that stuff too !! Good luck whichever way you go. Start the cycle when you feel ready is probably the only thing I can say. Yes 6 weeks seems a long time at our age, but I wonder how much difference it makes really. Especially if you spend the few weeks prior gearing your body up for it. That's go to help. @BlondeinBrisvegas, yep I was desperate. If we hadnt found the blutack, we were about to drive the few hours back home and skip the weekend altogether as it was already late on a Friday night. My sister used to be almost as bad as me and she has since had two kids and now sleeps ok. She told me I will learn to sleep because with kids, you end up just having to as you're so exhausted.
    Had my scan this morning - all good at 9mm, transfer is on Thursday week. The nurse stressed that I shouldn't be too fixated on the embryo being graded 'fair' but you all know how it is. As IF I'm not going to stress about that.

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