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  1. #1
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    Default Who should I see to get professional advice re. DS's behaviour?

    DS is 4 yrs old. I am concerned that his difficult behaviour and tantrums, which have been around a long while, could be more than just normal kid stuff. I want to find out so I really know what I'm dealing with. I don't know how I'm going to cope with baby number 3 if this carries on. It's draining for all of us.

    He's quite bright and language is great. When he's with me and DH, and my mum, he's himself. Which is chatty and playful but also many tantrums which we are not able to avoid or divert, and discipline makes no difference. He's very rude at the moment, calling us names (no swear words and he doesn't hear them at home), just silly stuff like "bum bum head" over the slightest thing even when we're trying to help him. His meltdowns are over food quite a lot...wanting something to eat but not knowing what he wants and rejecting every suggestion. Or just refusing to eat his dinner and asking for alternatives, which he doesn't get. Or just because he's in his sister's face annoying or hurting her.

    When he's with other adults, including those he knows pretty well, he just doesn't want to talk to them. He'll ignore them and not speak or answer questions. Including at kindy. And also with his granddad who puts a lot of time and effort into having a good relationship with him and is hurt by DS's rejection and downright rudeness towards him. He's only himself with me, his dad and his nan.

    With his peers he's pretty good. Talks and plays well at kindy and playgroup in small groups of a couple of kids. Just not to the adults there. They had an Easter parade on Wednesday at kindy and he was the only one who wouldn't wear his hat and join in. He hates group activities.

    What do you think? For a long time I've thought it's all normal pre schooler behaviour. But at times its so hard I'm not sure and want some clarification.

    Who do I see about this? GP for a referral to child psychologist? Or paediatrician first to rule out anything medical/intolerances?

    Thank you
    Last edited by Bond Girl; 05-04-2015 at 05:58.

  2. #2
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    GP as a first step. You'll need a referral for a paed or they may give you a mental health care plan so you can get discounted psych appointments.

    Sounds quite tough, I hope he improves.

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    Bond Girl  (04-04-2015)

  4. #3
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    Bumping in case anyone else's child does any of this?

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    My first thought would be to get it checked out by a pead. Start filming so you can show them. Maybe an ASD, sensory or even just acting out. Remember we need loving the most when we are the hardest to love. Good luck hope you can get to the bottom of it

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    Bond Girl  (05-04-2015)

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    Definitely GP first for a referral to a child psych. At his age a paed would refer to a psychologist anyway for any assessments etc. You could go on a wait list in the meantime for a paed and then be led by the psych - at least where I live it is usually much quicker (and often more useful) to get into a psych than even a private paed. Good luck, it can be so hard to find a starting point and the right people to help.

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    Bond Girl  (05-04-2015)

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    Before you get on to the main****** behavioural management pathway I would strongly suggest you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene.

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    Bond Girl  (12-04-2015)

  11. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bond Girl View Post
    Bumping in case anyone else's child does any of this?
    It does sound a bit like my 5yo DS. He is a bit reserved around adults and will often just not answer a question if he can avoid it. He also chooses not to participate in some group activities. It doesn't bother me - I was like that as a child and I think it's just a personality thing.
    He also can be inflexible and a regular tantrum thrower. We saw the GP who put him on a zinc supplement which helped. He also needs plenty of one on one time with me which gives him confidence and keeps him calmer. I use some Peaceful Parenting techniques to help him work through his big emotions. But yeah the tantruming can be exhausting and is worse when he is tired or hungry. I'd start with be GP and go from there.

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    Bond Girl  (12-04-2015)

  13. #8
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    Sounds like my son. So I feel your desperation. He is 6 though I left it till he started kindy & teacher picked up on his behaviour. I've had prior talks wih family dr so when I told him teacher had picked up on his behavior I was referred to a behavioural Pediatrician than a Psychlogist too. Earlier the better you carnt hurt being safe than sorry. Get him assessed! At this early stage he has adhd with further assessments to follow! Hope this helps?

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    How is your son going at school with his learning?

    Has the teacher raised any concerns with you? If not have you spoken to her? It's a good start.

    The teacher had concerns with ds1 in kindy, (not behavioural though) and raised them with us, the health nurse at school did an assessment and refered us to occupational therapy who did an assessment in a few areas. Turns out it was a development issue and we worked on a few things with him to bring him up to speed. He is now year 2 and above average in reading and maths.

  15. #10
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    He is able to concentrate better doesnt interupt as much either. Has improved heaps. He still wont intereact in big crowds and withdraws when adult try to talk to him. We arnt ruling anything out ODD, Aspergers etc but I'm open to anything, early intervention will give my son the best results!


 

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