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  1. #1
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    Default Midwife Visit Stress! *Vent*

    Yesterday I had one of the regular check ups with the midwives at the hospital. I am 38 + 3 weeks today so not long to go. The midwife clinic at the hospital tries to provide continuity by giving you the same midwife for each appointment if you can keep the same time and day for each appointment. Yesterday it was a different middy and she just totally rubbed me and DP up the wrong way. Everything she said came out as a lecture like we were idiots and I didn't feel comfortable asking questions or sharing any information with her at all as she seemed to use anything I said as an opportunity to lecture.

    She mentioned my iron (ferritin) was low (13) which came as a surprise as the last blood test I had was at my first hospital visit at the start of Feb and nothing has been mentioned about it till yesterday when I feel it is a bit late to build up much in the way of iron stores. She then spent the next 10 mins lecturing me about how I had to carefully plan my diet to include more iron and not drink when I eat and take supplements as well. Cut me off every time I told her that I have actually been craving red meat and eating more lately and I don't have much fluid when I eat cause it makes me feel yuck. For all her worry she didn't order any blood tests tho. I'll take the supplements but would have done so without the lecture.

    Then she started lecturing us about DD who is 23 months old. Apparently now is a great time to completely re-arrange her sleep routine as I still feed her to sleep. She even tried to lecture DP when I was in the bathroom saying that she thinks DD will become jealous and violent. She did work in childcare see so she knows. DP cut off her rant with a calm "we work well as a team and we will work it out". She knew I work in childcare cause she asked but she is still more qualified to make this call about my child than I am apparently. Once again, a valid concern and suggestion delivered as law and lecture.

    Ohh and after we ascertained that baby is head down she lectured me on how to sit so baby does not get stuck breech. Once again ignoring me when I said I hang over my gym ball on all fours regularly. Apparently after 10 mins in the car I am to pull over somewhere safe and run around the car twice. Totally practical advice with a tired cranky toddler in the back after a day of grocery shopping.

    We ended this lovely visit with her instructing me to book my next appointment for 2 weeks with the doctor to discuss management if I go post dates. So no further chances to ask questions or discuss concerns.

    I left feeling stressed, confused and worried that I would be lectured on how to birth if I get the wrong midwife in labour. I wish I could afford a homebirth like my first was. I feel awful cause I haven't enjoyed this pregnancy much and just want him out so I can be done with all this rubbish.

  2. #2
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    Massive hugs x unfortunately midwives are just like everyone else - some of them are know it all eff wits!

    I had a doctor treat me much the same way when I was pregnant with my first. I left feeling scared and unsure but at least it was earlier in my pregnancy so I had further chances to clarify things. I am sure you will get someone lovely during labour xx

  3. #3
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    I had a midwife I didn't like in my labour. I just didn't speak to her lol. I did my own thing and DP advocated for me.

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    What an idiot! I had one much like that with my first. It ended with DH telling her that although it was our first child we were not absolute idiots and could make our own decisions about how we wanted to care for our baby. She was making some really opinionated comments about sleep/ not holding baby too much/ breastfeeding too much etc etc. I had a traumatic emergency c section so was not in the mood. She ended up sending in her student for the rest of her shift cos dh told he I didn't want to see her anymore. I will definitely be stronger this time round and speak up. Luckily most midwives are lovely but there are the odd few who need to move into a different profession! I hope you don't get her at the birth OP!

  5. #5
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    I am so keen for this baby to come. Luckily I haven't got long. I am going to write up a birth plan so that my DP at least has something to refer to so he can advocate for me if needs be. I wonder if you can ask for another midwife if you get a rubbish one. I suspect not. Lol, she also offered me a student midwife to follow me through the rest of my appointments and the birth to provide continuity. Bit late at this point as the first time I will meet this student will likely be at the birth. Hardly continuity.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tildy View Post
    I am so keen for this baby to come. Luckily I haven't got long. I am going to write up a birth plan so that my DP at least has something to refer to so he can advocate for me if needs be. I wonder if you can ask for another midwife if you get a rubbish one. I suspect not. Lol, she also offered me a student midwife to follow me through the rest of my appointments and the birth to provide continuity. Bit late at this point as the first time I will meet this student will likely be at the birth. Hardly continuity.
    Ask, ask, and keep asking. Tell them you are not comfortable with this midwife, and want another.

  7. #7
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    Hugs Must be so hard going through the hospital system after a home birth.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to BornToBe For This Useful Post:

    Tildy  (05-04-2015)


 

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