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  1. #1
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    Default 4.5yo crying...

    How much crying is "normal" for a child?

    I'm not overly concerned to be honest but I have family who have complained about how much DD cries. She'll be 5 in July and is in Kindy.

    Whenever anything happens that upsets DD, she cries. Tonight one of the instances was that I brushed her cousins hair before hers after a shower. She had a meltdown and refused to stand up. Another instance had been her youngest cousin (2) taking a toy off her.

    She is also very, very clingy. exDP and I share custody, week on/week off, so I can understand to an extent but sometimes she has crying tantrums if I don't sit inside with her, if she can't sit on my lap, or if I don't carry her somewhere. Or a lot of the time, if I don't lay in bed while she goes to sleep even.

    She is a very intelligent girl (is learning to read already - can read Dog In, Cat Out without the pictures, and will realise if she has a word wrong and correct herself by looking at the word again, with no guidance). She loves kindy and is very happy there. Developmentally, she's doing really well, mentally and physically.

    Does anyone have any tips on how to stop this crying? It absolutely breaks my heart.

  2. #2
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    Anyone?

  3. #3
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    I don't think it sounds like anything serious or completely out of the ordinary. I would be trying find tools to help her manage her emotions. An experienced child psych would be able to help with specific ideas that are suitable for your DD.

  4. #4
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    First off hugs because it would be stressful for you.

    As a single mum I have to be strict. I have 100% custody. I can't stand whinging so if my ds cries for not getting his way it's straight to timeout. It works for me and he only cries when seriously hurt. We have a very close bond and he tells me if things upset him but tears no.

    I would look into having professional advice but at the end of the day you know what's best for your family. I would also talk to the kindy teacher's because they know your dd and spend time together regularly.

    Hope this helps

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    It sounds normal to me. I think they just get tired, especially after being in kindy. Most parents I speak to our experiencing similar behaviour.

  6. #6
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    It might help to get to the root cause of the problem - a child psychologist might be able to help?. Could your daughter be stressed and clingy due to you and her dad being separated? Week on week off must be very very tough on her - I am surprised this arrangement was recommended at age 5. Could you and your ex look at re-assessing the custody split to give your daughter more stability and sense if security?

    Hang in there xx

  7. #7
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    It wasn't so much recommended as much as forced by the ex. I was made to sign 50/50 custody papers 3 days after I walked out. I was psychologically abused (as well as financially, and every other way you can be aside from physically).

    I know him and I know he'd ignore it. I'd LOVE to change it but he won't agree so I'd have to take him to court over it. I don't have a lot of money. He does. And his mother has millions.

    I think I might look into a child psychologist. Is it the same as the mental health care plans, where so many sessions are bulk billed? Or us it payment up front...

  8. #8
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    Go see your GP as a first step and I think you do get 10 sessions bulk billed but your GP can check. Do that with the aim if getting the specialist to write a report at the end - that you can to mediation as a first step in negotiating new custody.

    Can you get legal aid?

  9. #9
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    Firstly
    If you don't have court orders you don't have to agree to anything mediation and make a change based on concern for your dd,

    By my ds is like this and he is in a single parent household where I share majority of custody, father has him normally one night a month

  10. #10
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    Sounds normal to me. My 5.5yr old dd is also very emotional and cries a lot over silly things.


 

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