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    Default How abnormal is it?

    I saw a psychologist this week, Tuesday, Dp has not asked me anything about it. I sent him a message after being very generic as I was worried he might blow up at me talking about our dd. I'm going to bring it up tonight not that I want a full debrief or rehash what happened I just hadn't realised that our relationship was that bad that he's not even make any enquiry.

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    My DH doesn't ask me about it when I go. I actually don't mind though as I go there to talk things out and get my head around certain issues that are bothering me. In my case, I would only bring up what was discussed when I had decided on a path of action that involves/will impact on him.

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    I don't necessarily think it's abnormal, but considering how you explained he treats you in your other thread, if this upsets you, it's for a reason. I don't think for you it's JUST that he doesn't ask how your appointment went. It's that he's constantly belittling you and this is just another thing to add onto the other issues. Would you be asking this question if in every other aspect of your relationship he was caring and attentive?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat74 View Post
    My DH doesn't ask me about it when I go. I actually don't mind though as I go there to talk things out and get my head around certain issues that are bothering me. In my case, I would only bring up what was discussed when I had decided on a path of action that involves/will impact on him.
    Ok maybe I'm being harsh. I was expecting something especially as he knows we discussed dd. I dunno it was so weird going to one I kind of expected I might be asked something even if it's just to ask if it was helpful. I wish he'd come with me as our communication issues seem major part of my need to see one. Sigh. Sometimes I console myself about issues with dd by remembering that I found my dad much easier when I was a kid but would always turn to mum now. If only she didn't live on the other side of the world 😞

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    You're not being harsh. I think @hopeful1986 makes a really good point. I feel comfortable in my relationship with my DH, we communicate well and even though I have talked about him to my psychologist on occasion it has always been with a view to me getting some perspective on the situation and then talking with him to resolve whatever the issue may have been. So I don't really think twice about him not asking me how it went. Your relationship is different so then understandably you feel differently about him not asking.

    One thing my psychologist has always said to me is to manage my expectations. It's generally the expectations that we put upon ourselves or others that leave us feeling disappointed later, particularly if our expectations have been too high. If we can let go of them (to an extent, we all have our limits) then people won't constantly let us down.

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    While I wouldn't want my DH prying if this was me a generic 'how did today go' type question would be much appreciated.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat74 View Post
    You're not being harsh. I think @hopeful1986 makes a really good point. I feel comfortable in my relationship with my DH, we communicate well and even though I have talked about him to my psychologist on occasion it has always been with a view to me getting some perspective on the situation and then talking with him to resolve whatever the issue may have been. So I don't really think twice about him not asking me how it went. Your relationship is different so then understandably you feel differently about him not asking.

    One thing my psychologist has always said to me is to manage my expectations. It's generally the expectations that we put upon ourselves or others that leave us feeling disappointed later, particularly if our expectations have been too high. If we can let go of them (to an extent, we all have our limits) then people won't constantly let us down.
    Unfortunately I think I let my expectations got lower and lower to the point that I feel irrelevant and so now I don't know what's a realistic expectation. Wish I'd seen a psych earlier on cus now I need to wait til after school hols to see and I feel like our one session has helped me start to see things a bit more clearly

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    hi freyamum. I agree, I think your expectations are getting way too low, and you have lost sight of what should be normal. I think at least a general question about the session would be just common interest. like ' how was your day" ? however, I would be reluctant to share too much with him as he seems to take pleasure putting you down. I hope your sessions continue to be helpful for you. marie


 

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