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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    I think, given how big a support your DH is to you and how involved he is with settling your son etc, plus your general anxiety which may be exacerbated again by returning to work, I would be seriously weighing up if he can hold out for something without the commute.

    DH worked super-long hours when both bubs were little and worked away 3wks at a time when my 2nd was 10-20months, but currently has a job that puts him home in time for "crazy hour" most nights. Some nights he isn't home and, you know what, it freaking sucks!

    Yes, I always coped/got by/just got on with it when he was not around, the world never came crashing in and it's entirely possible to do it on your own. But, far out, it is just sooooo much easier when he's home!
    I agree with this. If there's any chance that your hubby will be away from sunrise to sunset and that this would negatively affect your recovery I would seriously consider him not taking that position.

    If you are strapped for cash could you increase your work hours? Or could your hubby get a part time job that is more flexible even if it isn't in his chosen career field (eg night fill at a Supermarket).


    I couldn't cope if my hubby hardly ever saw the kids - he couldn't cope either. I don't want that life for any of us.

    That being said if there is absolutely no other way your DH could always do things like FaceTime/Skype your bub at bedtime. And have half a day on the weekend where you go off and do your thing and hubby spends one on one time with your DS.

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    TheGooch  (01-04-2015)

  3. #22
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    My DH has a 1.5-2 hr commute each way into Sydney for work. It means an 8 hour work day turns into a 12 hour. Everyone does it here. My father, brothers and friends. There's just no work in our region and it means it's possible to afford a mortgage (we could never do it on our wages in the Sydney region).

    DH uses his time on the train (drives half way) to have some me time- he has a handheld gaming console and an iPad to tune out. He has one day a fortnight alone with dd whilst I work which he loves and helps them bond. And dd doesn't know any better.

    It is tough but that's life. We'd rather that then he be unemployed. We live in the hope one day DH will score a job locally but it's what we do in meantime.

  4. #23
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    My DH rarely sees DS during the week, sometimes if DS wakes early he may see him for a few minutes before he takes off but that's not very often. He's never home before bed. We also live in London away from both families so it's pretty much DS and I on our own most of the time. DS is 14 months and adores DH and they make up for any missed time on the weekend, DH gets up with DS on the weekend while I sleep in and they do breakfast, play, skype grandparents, go for a walk. He also does bath and bedtime stories on the weekend. On Mondays I find DS seems to look for DH a bit but he doesn't get upset. I just say 'daddy's at work.' When DH went away he facetimed him and read him stories. Facetiming during your DH's lunchtimes may be an option?

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    VicPark  (01-04-2015)

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmummahen View Post
    Hugs. Think of it is a short term arrangement until something better comes along. If you are dependent on his income, it's a sacrifice you will have to make unfortunately. I would look into his travel to work more and see if there is alternate methods he can get to work quicker. Or can you take on more work while he holds out for something better?
    Just reading all of the posts as I hadn't last night. And this reminded me, could he do something like cycle to work and cut some of his travel time off? Cycling is often faster than public transport. When we lived in Melbourne cycling was less than half the time home on public transport and now in London it's about 15 mins faster. It makes a lot of difference for DH shaving off that time between home and work but regardless, the nature of his job is long hours so we don't have much of choice in regards to him getting home in time to see DS.


 

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