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  1. #1
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    Default I've decided to wipe my mother from my life.

    Just wanted to air my thoughts. My mother and I have a volatile relationship to say the least. She is a nasty, self centered (undiagnosed) psychopath but I have been tolerating her for the past 10 years of my adult life for the sake of my father.

    This ends tonight. I cannot possibly expose an innocent child to her hatred and manipulation. She picks fights constantly and then cries victim to our family and friends. I am tired of her bringing me down and I've been wanting to do this for a long time. Since finding out we are pregnant it's like my whole world has changed, I no longer want to surround myself with people who bring me misery. I want to focus on my own family and being the mother I never had.

    Has anyone else on here wiped their mother from their life and do you regret your decision?

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to bigmummahen For This Useful Post:

    Kristyj  (20-05-2015)

  3. #2
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    Hi, lots of hugs to you. This must be extremely difficult for you. While I still have a good relationship with my mother, while I was pregnant I found that all these crazy issues I had with her came to the surface. It made me extremely anxious and very angry at my past with her. It was one if the most difficult times in my life. I have learnt to keep her at a distance while including her in my life. I don't have exact advice for you but for me the crazy hormones mixed with the overwhelming feeling of protection for my baby made it difficult to have a positive relationship with my mum. As time had gone by I have learnt to live with her in my life while keeping her at arms length. I've created boundaries (without her realising) which works for me.
    Hope you're ok

  4. #3
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    Yes i've done it, some 8..almost 9 years ago now. I don't regret it at all. It was an unhealthy, unhappy relationship. I wouldn't tolerate that in a friendship so why do so just because I am related to someone?

  5. #4
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    Yes I've done it. Was hard to mourn the loss of my birth mother when she is still alive. But my life is far more peaceful and do not regret it.

  6. #5
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    Thanks. It's been an emotional night. Thankfully I have every Monday off.

  7. #6
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    Yes, very similar story to yours. She was diagnosed with depression but her issues run so much deeper than that. I think she has an undiagnosed personality disorder- she presents very well to those she wants to but is a lying, manipulative, screaming and irrational woman. She is never at fault it's ALWAYS somebody else causing her problems.

    I will never have anything to do with her again. After years of dealing with her behaviours I am done. I am free.

    I hope your new found freedom has been liberating. It's a big move but you'll feel the difference, I sure do!

  8. #7
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    Sending you lots of love and hugs

  9. #8
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    Sending you strength to get through a difficult time. I recently cut ties with my brother and while it's very stressful and sad, I feel it was the right decision. Not having to deal with somebody who doesn't respect or care for you is a relief

  10. #9
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    It just makes me feel so sad that she isn't a better person. That she doesn't want to try and that she is so blatantly horrible.

  11. #10
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    @bigmummahen I can totally relate to your story - I was looking though these family threads to see if anyone was in the same boat as me and I came across your thread
    Around 18mths ago after a tonne of games and manipulation I pulled the pin on the relationship with my mother
    I have always been pretty close with her and this certainly isnt how I thought things would turn out.
    mothers have this way of fighting with you in a passive aggressive nature and turning everything around so it is your fault -
    I went though a pretty nasty divorce with my ex-husband and although she 'supported' me through it she now is best buddies with my ex and has nothing to do with me
    its hard to explain but it started when she would orgainize to see my girls in his custody time - with out even asking me how I would feel about it (obviously its a pretty tricky situation as is) but when I would react to it she we blame me and say I wasnt being flexible or understanding and would make wild accusations that I wouldnt let her see the girls enough (which again was an out right lie)
    honestly it all sounds petty as Im trying to explain it to you but it started with alot of little things then got worse and worse and turned into bigger things.
    I kept on excusing her behaviour thinking "its family" I gotta forgive and forget
    BUT the straw that broke the camels back for me was the day my youngest had an award presentation at school
    my mother showed up and sat with my ex-husband AND my ex-best friend (my ex-husbands new girlfriend.....which is obviously a pretty f**ked up situation in its self)
    the three of them together was probably the worse thing ive ever seen in my life

    from that moment on I completly cut her off
    she has tried to infringe on my life a couple of times and cries victim to the rest of the family
    and now with me and my new DP expecting our first baby together she has tried again to but into mylife
    Im not going to budge though
    she needs to sort out her depression and issues and stop the games
    one thing I will say is my life has been SO much more LESS complicated with out her in it.

    good luck and hugs to you I hope everything is working out for you


 

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