Ok, so I am one of the first to admit that my 9yr old DSS is no angel and can be a right little turd. Just prefacing my scenario with the disclaimer that I have no delusions about him and I'm not one of those parents who think their child can do no wrong.
He has been having a lot of trouble at school and on the bus both last year and this year and has been kicked off the bus and hauled in front of the principle and teachers more times than I care to count right now. His BM has even told us she will send him to live with us because she is at her wits end. He only talks to his dad and it was DP that got out of him that he is being bullied by this one kid. This same kid also catches his bus. DSS has a short fuse and this kid knows how to get him to react and then dobs on him. DSS has become increasingly negative about school and his behaviour has taken a massive decline since all this started.
Not long ago he actually tried to do the right thing and tell the teacher what this kid was doing instead of trying to thump him and it was DSS that got into trouble! This tells me that they have profiled him as the 'bad kid' so he wont be believed regardless.
Now BM has told DP that she bumped into this kid's mum when she was at the shops with DSS. The mum started yelling at her and threatening her and when she did not react the mum started on DSS, calling him an Fing C and threatening him too. In the middle of woollies! So now we know why the kid is a bully. BM has gone to seek legal advice about an AVO (not sure she will get it but hey, worth a go). DP and I have suggested that she pull both DSS's out of that school and send them elsewhere and she replied that there will be bullies at every school to deal with. I feel that the school is not handling the bullying very well either and a fresh start is needed. I actually wish she would send him to us just because then he could start over and be away from that situation.
My concern is that DSS will get to the point where he feels that trying is useless at any level because doing right just gets you into trouble and you just have to struggle on your own. Despite his faults he can be very loving and he is very intelligent. I hate seeing his light go out in this way.
So my question is, in this scenario, what would you do? I realise in my position that all I can do is make the suggestion (through DP) and let her take it or leave it but I am curious to hear from both step parents and bio parents as to what they would do in this situation. I need some variety of perspective.