+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 29 of 29
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Grandparent / Relative Rights to see Children

    Apologies... There's not enough information to
    Enable me to feel comfortable with offering unconditional support...

    Could your friend either be innocently mistaken? Or a **** stirrer?

    Surely... If you think it's a possibility that your BIL is going to try and cut you out... There has to be something that has happened that you're not telling us? Are your parents quite critical of him? Has there been a conflict?

    Is he really in a bad way or do you just have differing standards of what is acceptable? Does he have a few beers a night in which case I would say ease up butt out and give him some support as he has been through hell... Or is he drinking a carton every couple of days and leaves the kids unfed and dirty?

    Good on you and your mum for helping out with the kids etc... But please don't turn and twist that to say he's incapable.

    This man has lost his wife my heart breaks for him. My condolences to yourself and your family as well - so heartbreaking.
    Last edited by VicPark; 26-03-2015 at 21:23.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    bpac  (26-03-2015),TheGooch  (26-03-2015)

  3. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week

    Default Grandparent / Relative Rights to see Children

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post

    He's driven with the kids not in car seats, left them home alone, leaves them in the car while he goes to the shops, has been pulled over by the local cop for erratic driving & speeding with the kids in the car, drops my nephew to school late or let's him stay home. It's all very concerning
    Genuine question: how do you know this? Were you there at the time, have you drawn conclusions or have you been informed by well meaning but possibly misinformed sources?

    Apologies I could be way off track I just find this heartbreaking and suppose are hoping for a best case scenario that there has been some misunderstandings.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    TheGooch  (26-03-2015)

  5. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,920
    Thanks
    1,148
    Thanked
    953
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Funniest Caption
    I think it is a horrible situation for all but you said she passed last year. Is he trying to look after the kids or are you and your mum just taking over? It's an admirable thing to do but is he saying this stuff to make himself feel like he is taking his life back into his hands again? It has been such a short period of time and you all have been to hell and back him included. As vp said there is limited info but.. And I hope this doesn't upset everyone... If my partner passed I would want to distance myself for a bit. Get me and my kids as a family again as hard as it is. Could he maybe thinking along those lines? Not taking them from you permanently but doing what he can to get back on track? I am expecting to get absolutely slammed by this post but I have been thinking about it since your op.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to bpac For This Useful Post:

    LoveLivesHere  (27-03-2015),TheGooch  (26-03-2015)

  7. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,883
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    634
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Genuine question: how do you know this? Were you there at the time, have you drawn conclusions or have you been informed by well meaning but possibly misinformed sources?

    Apologies I could be way off track I just find this heartbreaking and suppose are hoping for a best case scenario that there has been some misunderstandings.
    The kinder told me he drove them there without car seats, when I confronted him he admitted it.
    My 5yo nephew told me he leaves him home alone, when confronted he admitted it.

  8. #25
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,883
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    634
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Genuine question: how do you know this? Were you there at the time, have you drawn conclusions or have you been informed by well meaning but possibly misinformed sources?

    Apologies I could be way off track I just find this heartbreaking and suppose are hoping for a best case scenario that there has been some misunderstandings.
    The school rings me when my nephew doesn't show up or is late then I call him and try get my nephew to school.

    He told me himself about the police officer

  9. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,883
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    634
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Apologies... There's not enough information to
    Enable me to feel comfortable with offering unconditional support...

    Could your friend either be innocently mistaken? Or a **** stirrer?

    Surely... If you think it's a possibility that your BIL is going to try and cut you out... There has to be something that has happened that you're not telling us? Are your parents quite critical of him? Has there been a conflict?

    Is he really in a bad way or do you just have differing standards of what is acceptable? Does he have a few beers a night in which case I would say ease up butt out and give him some support as he has been through hell... Or is he drinking a carton every couple of days and leaves the kids unfed and dirty?

    Good on you and your mum for helping out with the kids etc... But please don't turn and twist that to say he's incapable.

    This man has lost his wife my heart breaks for him. My condolences to yourself and your family as well - so heartbreaking.
    I honestly can not think of 1 thing that has made him say/do these things.

    I fully expected a few members to question my motives from my post.

    To be honest I'd love nothing more for him to raise the boys on his own in the way that he and my sister intended them to be raised. I didn't say he's incapable.

    I'm not sure what 'normal' drinking is but he'd average 10-12 beers a night, I think that's a lot but I don't drink often.

    I'm not trying to take his kids away from him. He was never an active parent and is clearly struggling with them on his own. He asks me to take them to the dentist etc because it's 'too much' for him. My sister raised the boys and without her they have no direction, rules, routine. I do what I can but no I don't believe I'm overstepping the line. I'm just there when he/they need me or want me.

  10. #27
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,883
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    634
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    On weekends or days he doesn't go to work he starts drinking about 11am and drinks bourbon too.

    A social worker from kinder contacted my mum and I with concerns

  11. #28
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,920
    Thanks
    1,148
    Thanked
    953
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Funniest Caption
    In that case, i would suggest getting him into counselling, trying to help him that way instead of going straight away to find out your legal status. I know if it was me and i felt like my back was against a wall, i would dig in and not try to change because i was being forced to. I dont know if that makes any sense. He sounds like he is going through alot and not coping at all. I am not saying that you are not, but obviously you are coping better or in a different way. Help him to become a hands on dad.

  12. #29
    Oblena's Avatar
    Oblena is offline I've done it in public and I'll do it again - I don't care who sees!
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    1,585
    Thanks
    374
    Thanked
    309
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    It sounds like a family in crisis. You can call DHS or a child first referral, and they an help your family.This is not a mandatory report, but a request for assistance.

    http://www.stlukes.org.au/childfirst...oria'.html

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Oblena For This Useful Post:

    bpac  (27-03-2015)


 

Similar Threads

  1. What would you do: grandparent interference
    By VicPark in forum General Chat
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 30-09-2014, 14:46
  2. Grandparent who showered with my 3 yr old
    By aprilhaarer in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 20-09-2014, 20:58
  3. Reflux or paranoid interfering relative?
    By VicPark in forum Colic Reflux Wind
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 21-04-2014, 07:33

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Be In Blossom
We offer physiotherapy run pregnancy Pilates, pregnancy Aerobics, and Mummy Pilates & Baby Massage classes with a focus on optimising posture, body awareness, pelvic floor support, back care and maintaining fitness, aiming to assist women prepare and recover from their birth.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!