Check our bank account and Dp has spent over $20 in the last few days on iTunes! Doesn't seem like much but we are on a tight budget the last few weeks. Check his email to see what the hell hes bought.. He's spending it on candy crush! What the hell. It's a game!!
And telling me to grown the eff up. Is not going to make me feel any better!! You are just p!ssing me off more!
If you didn't keep spending money a game every week we wouldn't be having this argument. Now u can grow the eff up idiot.
He is spending money that is needed to keep the family running on a game and he has the balls to say you need to grow up. OMG is there anything more childish than that.
Mega hugs for you and here a virtual teddy bear and blankie for your adult child, sorry your dh.
Artist dd can't see a big scratch on their sisters knee and leave be.
And so much for the things we had planned....after sleeping well for months, all of a sudden out of the blue ds WILL NOT go to sleep & we have the overtired hysterical screaming already so i guess thats the rest of our saturday. Oh yay.
Even if i give up on the nap he'll be screaming on & off for the rest of the day, we'll have to creep around walking on eggshells cause the slightest unexpected noise makes him SCREAM etc when hes like this.
There goes our nice weekend. Sometimes I wonder why we even bother. Might as well just plan to spend every weekend stuck at home with the screaming cause then we wouldn't have any expectations or plans to cancel etc....
Hi @heartstringz - probably totally off base but I know the times my DS randomly wouldn't go to sleep, like usual, it was because he had an ear infection.
He didn't get temperatures/fevers that are normally indicators of ear infections - he would just scream when we went to put him to bed! Might be worth checking out if you can.
@heartstringz, what I'm about to write may make you hate me/angry etc but I'm going to go ahead and write it anyway. I hope you know I have good intentions.
When you vent on BH do you feel better afterwards? Does it help you to cope with the day better once you write your vent? If so, that's great and please continue because it helps me too :-)
Do you say similar things to your husband as a vent? How does he react? Is he supportive? Does he vent along with you? Or does it add tension to the situation?
Because I really strongly feel that you need to try hard to reframe your way of thinking. I recognise this because it's something I have to work hard at. Do you know that absolute statements like never being able to go out ever again, just might as well breastfeed forever if he can't eat properly etc are not true? Because the brain is a very powerful thing, and I think those statements can fuel panic or anxiety.
Do you feel different if you can say to yourself, almost in a joking way, things like 'oh well! There goes my Saturday!' I know it's not funny, believe me, but I think thinking in terms of forever and things never going to get better aren't good for the fight or flight reactions that we have.
Can you say to yourself 'he's not sleeping well right now' or 'he's going through a bad sleeping phase' instead of 'all that hard work wasn't worth it because he's not sleeping well again so therefore he will never ever sleep well'? There is a difference. I'm a strong believer in training your brain, and I think reframing our negative thoughts into temporary or positive ones really does change your attitude over time.
I know your DS is difficult and I don't mean to undermine that. Many of us have been there and really feel the emotions you are expressing on here. But, I think it might help to accept that, for the moment at least, he's a challenge. So what are you going to do about that challenge? Well, you can wait for him to change, or you can try and change how you respond to it.
There is no law against you going out when your baby is ratty and crying. We have all been there. It sucks. It sucks the second time. It sucks the third time. Eventually you realise that the majority of people will give you supportive 'hang in there' smiles, and are either grateful it's not their own child at that moment in time or barely register it.
But feeling housebound is a special kind of hell. It will magnify everything.
Look, I'm not an expert, but I've been reading your posts for a long time now. You seem like a lovely person who is going through a rough time, and I do understand anxiety (I even understand not getting help for anxiety!), but I feel sad every time I read your belief that things are going to be hard forever, because it doesn't have to be that way.
I hope your day has picked up.
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