I dont think I have ever felt so alone.. or so isolated in my entire life.
Every single persons reaction has suprised me.
My enemies have come running to support me, my family has dismissed me, my friends have sat on the fence.
Never have I been so tempted to just pack the car, drive to Cape York and start a fresh with a new name.
I can not wait until I rebuild myself solely to help other DV Victims.
So many people (and services) protect the perp.
Words can not discribe the hurt.
NOW I wish I had stayed longer, I wish he had seriously maimed me, I wish he had hospitalized me, I wish he had nearly killed me.. then maybe people would understand.
I am a DV surviver. But it doesnt feel like that right now. Right now I feel like an outcast and a lier.. because thats how others treat me.
I know what I'm doing is right.
I prey daily it will become easier.
I wish there was a simple fix.
I'm still dead inside.
Yes I'm in councilling.
Yes I have professional support.
No.. it doesn't 'fix' it.
I sleep with the lights on and wake hourly.
I hate my life.
There will be SOO many people who will read this and not post.. and that's okay.. all I ask is that if ANYONE in your life ever tells you they have lived through DV.. don't dismiss their pain.. it's like being stabbed all over again. It hurts beyond words.