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  1. #1
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    Default Birthday party etiquette - irresponsible & rude?

    Just wondering what others think of this situation...

    My 4 year old son went to a birthday party this morning. My husband and I went with him. It was held at a party venue, which was at a small single fronted shop. There were two parties on at the same time, so quite crowded. Once the kids (12 of them) were settled in the party room, my husband and I decided to move outside and sit at the table and chairs which was directly outside the shop front. One other mum hung around and the others left. Whilst we weren't in the room with our son, we were still on the premises and were there if there was a problem.

    What totally surprised us though, was the fact that the birthday girl's parents, left the premises and walked off up the street to get a coffee (there was coffee available at the venue). They returned about ten minutes after the children had sat down to eat. I returned to the party room as the children were sitting down to eat, so that I could make sure my son wasn't eating anything he couldn't have (due to a dietary condition), and my husband had gone off to get him some hot chips because he was unable to eat any of the hot food on offer.
    Are we the only ones who found it both rude and irresponsible that the hosts left the party premises?

    I would never leave my son at a party on his own because of his dietary condition which needs to be constantly monitored, and having lost one child, I'm not comfortable in leaving him; however, if we HAD decided to drop him and leave, I would have been furious if I'd later found out that the parents of the birthday child had also left the premises and were not there to watch over the children in their care.
    What do others think? Am I overreacting?
    Last edited by siansmum; 22-03-2015 at 14:19.

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    You are not overreacting at all! I would be so cross! 4 year olds are little! I think if it was a 15yo party then I might feel more ok about the parents leaving for 10minutes from a safety perspective but I think it's rude. I think if you are hosting a party with other people's children then you have a responsibility to look out for them (especially 4 year olds!!!)

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    Yes, it would usually be expected that they would be present at the party for its duration.

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    Irresponsible 100%.
    Rude? I'm not so sure that's the word for it, it's just plain stupid.
    I'm guessing there's something else going on, perhaps went for a quick smoke or something? Both of them going and leaving all the kids there is shady.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hulahoop View Post
    Irresponsible 100%.
    Rude? I'm not so sure that's the word for it, it's just plain stupid.
    I'm guessing there's something else going on, perhaps went for a quick smoke or something? Both of them going and leaving all the kids there is shady.
    They're actually really nice people - the mum is a teacher and her partner is a police officer (he's the step dad), so I don't think there was anything shady - they obviously just thought it'd be ok to leave the kids as they were being looked after by the party venue staff.

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    I would never leave my own party but I also wouldn't expect the birthday child's parents to watch my child at age 4 unless I knew them very well and they agreed - at DS 4th birthday party last year we had it at a play centre (18 kids) and 1 mum did ask if she could leave her son as she had her daughters netball game which I was fine with

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I would never leave my own party but I also wouldn't expect the birthday child's parents to watch my child at age 4 unless I knew them very well and they agreed - at DS 4th birthday party last year we had it at a play centre (18 kids) and 1 mum did ask if she could leave her son as she had her daughters netball game which I was fine with
    I agree with you Elijah's Mum. I would never expect another parent to be responsible for my child, especially as he has special needs when it comes to his diet. I just think it was irresponsible of them, to leave 12 children and take off to grab a coffee. What if something had happened to one of the children? Things happen (and they can happen so quickly). I just feel that they had a duty of care to those children at the party.

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    Default Birthday party etiquette - irresponsible & rude?

    I'm not too sure on party etiquette yet.. But I would have definitely stayed if I was the host. Or I would have sent one parent to get coffee while the other stayed behind to supervise. I think perhaps they felt it was okay given their was staff there? It does seem quite odd behavior though. Are you sure there wasn't a family member or friend left behind to keep an eye out?

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    Beyond rude dam right disgusting. Your hosting the party you should be there the whole time.

    We had a party place here in town that wouldn't let guest parents stay only the hosts. They also changed the children out of their clothes into costumes. I refused to ever allow my kids to go there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmummahen View Post
    I'm not too sure on party etiquette yet.. But I would have definitely stayed if I was the host. Or I would have sent one parent to get coffee while the other stayed behind to supervise. I think perhaps they felt it was okay given their was staff there? It does seem quite odd behavior though. Are you sure there wasn't a family member or friend left behind to keep an eye out?
    No, it was only the mum and step-dad. The grandparents arrived as the kids were eating.


 

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