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    Default Discipline at school

    So the teachers are having trouble with ds at school. They said they have 5 other kids the same in his class. I have spoken daily with them since beginning of school this year and have taken since last week dealing with it once he got home. So I will speak to the teachers and if they say he has had a horrible day he gets dealt with at home. He knows the punishment and has been 75% better this past week.
    I have asked if they want him to change class but they said no. I asked how they deal with it with punishment and they said they "take a smiley face away" and they asked how I do it. I told them after years of trying to find something that works that all I do is talk to him about what I expect. I got told they have 20 odd kids in their class and don't have the time. So I put my hands up in defeat and told them they need to find their own way then.
    Friday I got asked if I have seen someone about his behavior. I said no because he is pretty much fine at home. Yes, he can be full on. Yes, he is full of beans from son up to son down (lol). Yet, he listens to reason and has really settled down now I have learnt what is best for him and ways to handle this. It is not my problem they can't seem to find the time between 3 teachers (yes 3) to have one of them talk to him. I have done my best to help and it does seem to be working.

    I'm getting frustrated with the teachers more than ds, because last year he was fine. Last year he had a very soft spoken, calm and lovely teacher. This year he has a quite nasty and strict teacher. Someone who, if she doesn't like said child, she is on their case from the moment they walk in. It's like she wants to be angry at them. They have like a good cop bad cop happening.
    Has anyone dealt with this sort of thing? How can I help the teachers when they don't seem to want to listen?

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    It's their job to talk to him. Saying they have 20 other students is both a cop out and unprofessional.

    Ask for a meeting with the teacher and leadership to get a shared plan between home and school.

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    What do you mean leadership? The principal?

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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelicHobgoblin View Post
    What do you mean leadership? The principal?
    Yep or AP or leading teacher. If they are unable to work with you on this then they may need support on how to work with your boy.

    It's honestly not good enough what they said to you. I'm an AP and I would be appalled at a teacher saying that to a parent sbout their child.

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    They should have a co-worker who is in charge of that year level at school. This person, and then sometimes also the VP are present at such meetings.
    I agree that them saying they don't have time is rubbish. You make time. Dealing with behaviour is like 60% of the job (teaching) nowadays.

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    Difficult children are often just written off. I have one, he has an ASD/ADHD diagnosis. He was written off in kindy and I can't see anything ever changing in that regard. A part of me understands why, i mean any job has difficult aspects and we would all rather not care to deal with them, but at the same time it is part of their job and they should be addressing any issues in the correct manner.
    Complaints to the education department were the only thing that brought any change to my DS'S situation, and they are only small changes btw.

    Do you think there is any harm in taking your DS to see someone? My DS is pretty good at home, the issues only really occur at school. Even if your DS doesn't have a diagnosis as such a psychologist can still help with implementing strategies for both at home and school. Often they will liaise with the school and address issues there. Just something to consider I guess.

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    I think a home we as parents have spend many years "perfecting" their behaviour and avoiding situations that trigger bad behaviour or we know how to handle sort it out. It might be worth checking to see if he may be on the spectrum or see if there are any strategies that can be implanted for school. Your teacher many not have the time to figure out what you spent many yard perfecting?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    I think a home we as parents have spend many years "perfecting" their behaviour and avoiding situations that trigger bad behaviour or we know how to handle sort it out. It might be worth checking to see if he may be on the spectrum or see if there are any strategies that can be implanted for school. Your teacher many not have the time to figure out what you spent many yard perfecting?
    Yeah but that's why I told them what I do, to help them. But they apparently don't have time to even talk to children individually. The only thing they said they do is to take away a smiley. I have told them that doesn't work. He just doesn't care for things like sticker charts and reward systems. He doesn't respond well to them yelling at him. He responds to talking to him like a person and letting him know what you expect. Like I said, I have done this every day this week, every morning once he is in class. It has helped but I can't be there to remind him. They said in the afternoon he starts up. It will take not even a minute to stop hi. And remind him of what they expect.
    He might be ADD. Huge might. But I honestly think it's because they have 5 other hyper children in the same class and they all play on each others hyperness.

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    Put your recommendations in writing (email) to all 3 teachers. Next time they say there's been a problem re-send it saying "just thought I would re-send this, since the problems are still occurring." Keep doing this. When you get up to a certain level (10?) cc the education department.

    If you haven't already please get your son seen professionally. I have a friend with a child with special needs and she keeps making excuse after excision to avoid an assessment. Her child is suffering. At the worst it will make it harder for the staff to write of your son. At the best it may result in advice and support being given to the teaching staff on how to best work with your boy (imagine sending that 10th email to the education department with the line "btw the behavioral specialist agrees with me, here's the report."

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    I think it is lazy of the teacher to tell you that they have 5 students with behavioural problems to manage. That is not your concern. What is your concern is that they are not addressing your childs needs and are expecting him to respond to discipline that is clearly not working. I agree that you need to reiterate what he does respond to in writing as VP said, but I would ecsalate it to a dept/year level head sooner than later.

    You never know, you might even end up doing the other kids a favour if they are able to better resource/staff the class.

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