I understand your distress as I also had 2 under 2. I used to have newbie in my carrier as I shushed my toddler to sleep.
It's not hard to sit in with them as they fall asleep. I used to play on my phone but now I read on my iPad. My dd2 age 2.5yo is going thru this atm. She gets distressed when I leave the room. So I sit with her and hold her hand till she drifts off. It usually takes 5-15min. Happy content baby makes a happy mummy.
Btw I find my kids more needy of my attention on daycare days. On home days they don't seem to 'need' me as much.
I've started to really enjoy bedtime with my kids. It's a beautiful time of night to just sit with them in silence.
Good luck and remember they are only little once.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
I was thinking about this thread last night. I only have one child, but he was a terrible sleeper so I think I understand feeling stressed about dealing with this while being pregnant. Just wondering, because you seem a little anxious and tense (understandably) - would it help any to change your mindset a little to - it's better for the baby if the toddler is quiet rather than screaming? So if it takes less time to settle your DD by sitting in her room for a few minutes while she drifts off to sleep (whether it's you or your DH and the other is attending to the baby), then this will produce a calmer environment for everyone. It will then mean you have more time for your bub, rather than spending a tense hour with a distressed toddler.
I'm not sure if this helps. A lot of hubbers would probably be frustrated by this approach I know, but after 18months of trying to bend my stubborn child to suit me, we are both a lot happier if I can adapt to his needs at the time. I have some non-negotiables sure, like DS always sleeps in his bed unless he is ill, he doesn't get out of his cot until the sun is up etc., but otherwise I try to respond to him a little.
Harvs, I have really thought about your advice and think we are going to give this a try. As you said, I am pretty tense and anxious about this. It is really distressing me to hear my daughter cry for so long and I am very keen to try something else. We have tried various things so far, but nothing has worked. If I can get her to fall asleep with one of us in her room within a reasonable period of time, that might be the answer for now.
I also think our non-negotiables (like DD sleeping her own cot unless sick) are the same as yours. Thanks again for all your advice.
Last edited by hollypolly; 21-03-2015 at 14:05.
Little update - DH stayed in DD's room tonight after we put her down and she was asleep within 10 minutes without tears!! We will keep this up and see how we go. Thanks again for all the help everyone!
That's so great!
Nope, nothing different during the day. We did do lots of activities and she ate lots, but that is pretty normal. I think she did just want someone in the room. My DH is a super hands on Dad, and he said he is happy to do it so she doesn't get dependent on me being there for when the baby arrives.
She hasn't made a peep since she went to sleep. I am feeling very pleased - it has been a much less stressful night!
Bond Girl (22-03-2015)
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